The Other Swan

Chapter Six: I Blame You For This

(This is the chapter Waylon dies in. If I'm switching events around and it's different than what happened in the movies/books, my apologies. By the way, texts or calls, Jade's will be italics and whoever she's talking to will be bold.)

It has been a three days since my panic attack and I feel normal, well somewhat normal. Today I'm going back school, hoping that I didn't miss much and that nothing triggers an attack. Alice called me the day after my panic attack, telling me that I didn't have a lot of homework, but that was two days ago. I got from my bed and headed to my dresser, feeling the need of metal. I made sure my door was closed, and locked, before pulling out the third drawer of my dresser. I lifted the folded clothes and took one of the small razors. I took one of the spare dark towels that were sitting on my desk and held the blade with it. The sting was, at first, painful, but quickly it went away. I felt numb once again, the pain from the world leaving me, just like the blood streaming from my left arm. I cut twice more before I heard a knock on the door. 

"Jade, I'm leaving for work. You all right going back to school today?" It was dad. I swiftly put the blade away, covered by clothes, and wrapped my arm in the towel to stop the bleeding. 

"Yeah, dad, I'll be fine. Besides, if anyone tries anything, I've got the Cullens' for help." 

"Alright, call me if you need. Bye." I sighed in relief as I heard his footsteps go down the stairs. I stopped my arm bleeding and wrapped it with black gauze. I wrapped my other arm with the same gauze. I folded the towel and dropped it in my hamper. I ran a hand through my hair and started getting ready. I grabbed my bag and hung my beats around my neck. I shut the dresser drawer and went to the door. I sighed before unlocking it and walking out. I stopped when arms were wrapped around my neck. It was Bella. 

"I'm sorry about last night. I was nosy, but I'm worried about you, Jade. You may be older, but I'm allowed to worry. When Alice and Carlisle left the other day, both of them seemed to be acting different than when they showed up. I tried getting Alice to tell me, but she said that it wasn't her place to say anything. Please, Jade, I don't want you to have to go through whatever this is alone." I hugged her back, my arms stinging. 

"This will take a while to explain. I don't want to tell you, but you have a point. We'll be late for school if I tell you now." 

"We're not really doing anything in my first two classes. Tell me, please."

"Alright, let's go downstairs." Bella let go of me and I led the way to the living room. I sat on the couch, my bag beside me on the floor. I crisscrossed my legs, facing Bella and she did the same. I rubbed my hands together, nervous to tell my baby sister what happened two, almost three, years ago. 

"Do you remember two years ago, I came home late and I looked really disheveled?" I asked her. 

"Yeah, mom freaked out and Phil tried to calm her down." 

"Okay, my panic attacks and my nightmares started because of that night. I stayed late at the school that night to finish an essay for one of my classes. I got done and put my stuff up. I started walking home and a group of guys started following me. I didn't really think anything of it, except when I heard them walk faster. They grabbed me and drug me into a nearby alley. They-" I stopped and held back tears, struggling to control my breathing. 

"They rapped you?!" Bella looked horrified, but severally ticked off. I nodded and brought my knees to my chest. 

"That's why I went to doctors and psychiatrists. The doctors helped me, but I can't have children, ever. That means I don't have period anymore.

And the psychiatrists only helped so much. I don't take the medication they gave me because it makes me, not me. I would rather live with the pain of the past than not be myself. Do you understand now why I never went on dates with guys after that happened?" Bella nodded, tears in her eyes. I was suddenly tackled by her, her arms wrapped around me tightly. "I'm so sorry, Jade." I hugged her back just as tight, my face buried in her shoulder. After a moment, she moved so she was sitting beside me. "Are you sure you are able to go back today?" "I think so. If something happens, call Alice or Carlisle. They understand how to get me to calm down." We were both silent for a while when Bella suddenly changed the subject. "So, what do you think of the Cullen's?" "This again, Bells? They're really secretive, but other than that, they're fine." "Alice and Carlisle, are they freezing cold when you've touched their arms or been hugged by them?" "Yeah, I have noticed that." "I have a theory, but it's completely crazy to think it. But I'm going to a bookstore at the reservation to check out a book. Jacob said his tribe have an ancient enemy. The Cullen's aren't allowed on the reservation. The tribe and the Cullen's have this truce. It's really weird."