Learning to Fall

1: First Day Nerves

I pulled my navy blazer tight around my body and gazed up at Rosestone Elementary Academy.

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To the stars and back.

I felt a tug on my hand and looked down at my little brother. He gazed back at me with the same blue eyes as mine.

"Are you scared?" he asked me. It was an innocent question, but it broke my heart. I looked back up at the boarding school we'd be attending, shaking my bangs into my eyes so he couldn't see the tears that welled up in my eyes.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," I said in a hollow voice. I could feel him studying my face and I swallowed my tears down. I looked back down at him and forced a smile.

"We're going to be all right," I told him, trying to convince myself more than him.

He looked at the large stone building in front of us, his lips drawn in a frown. It hurt to see such a young face so full of sadness and fear. He was only six years old. He shouldn't have to face something like this. The world was a cruel place, indeed.

"Ready to go?" I asked him.

"Do I have to?" he questioned innocently. I felt a shot of pain in my chest.

"Unfortunately, yes," I replied. He looked up at me, his eyes full of tears. I bit my lip and squatted in front of him. I brushed his silky dark blonde hair out of his eyes and held onto his arms.

"What's wrong, Mikey?" I asked him.

"It's so big. I'm scared," he said, pointing to the boarding school. I tried to muster up a weak smile. I had to show him I was strong. If I broke down in front of him, then how would he ever hold up?

"Hey, look at me," I told him. He looked back at me, sniffling. I brushed the tears off his face.

"Look, we're in this together, all right? You and me, buddy. Nothing's going to happen to you while I'm around," I said to him, steadying my voice so it sounded firm.

His eyes studied me and I wondered what thoughts were rushing through his naiive mind. Finally, he nodded. I smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. He squeezed me tight and I tried my best not to break down. I was his only source of strength. I couldn't show any weakness. I had to be brave, if not for me, but for him. He needed me and I had to be there for him.

"Ready to go?" I asked him, pulling away. He nodded. I stood and took his hand again, grabbing the handle of his suitcase. We made our way up the stone stairs of the academy and walked through the thick mahogany doors.

The floors and ceiling echoed with the sound of the suitcase's wheels and the squeak of Mike's dress shoes.

Our first stop was the office. It was a large building and I found it hard to navigate. There were no signs anywhere. I found myself getting frustrated quickly as we continued to walk and ran into another dead end.

"Maybe we should ask someone," Mike suggested. I glanced down at him. He was right. There was no point walking around aimlessly. I had to ask someone for directions. We rounded the corner and doubled back around. I opened a door and walked into an empty classroom. I frowned. Next door. After checking a few more doors, we finally came across a janitor's closet.

"You kids lost?" the man asked. I squinted at his name tag. Patrick.

"Yes, actually. We're looking for the office. There are no signs anywhere. Just numbers," I told him.

"Oh, the office is in the dorms in the back building. Just walk on out the same way you came in from and then you'll see a path on the right side of this building. Take that back and you'll see another building like this one, only it'll say 'dorms'. Just go on in there and the office is the first room to your right," he explained. I smiled at him gratefully.