The Bikers Fighter Book One

Raelyns POV part 21

Sitting down next to me, Phoenix continues to stroke my hair tenderly as my tears finally dry up he gives me a gentle smile, one which I try to return but it comes out forced and my eyes well up with tears again. "There we go sweetheart, now what's brought this on aye?" He asks soothingly and I know I have to tell him, i have to take that risk otherwise I'll go crazy. I take a deep breath "Benji" I whisper hoarsely through my tears and his eyes widen a fraction. " what about him? What happened darling?" He asks "for once it was him putting me in my place" I choke out a laugh and a smile appears on Phoenix's face. "H-he told me that I need to stop being everyone else's shoulder to lean on and find one of my own" I say and his eyes take on a warm glow "he said i need to be weak sometimes because that's what makes us human" I explain further and his face takes on a soft expression he pauses for a second before speaking "and have you found your shoulder to lean on? Have you got someone to spill your feelings to? Someone who you can trust to confide in? Someone who's going to be there for you?" He asks and he resumes stroking my hair. As he asks this though only one person comes to mind. "I-I'd like to talk about what happened that night, I-if that's okay?" I ask timidly avoiding eye contact. "Of course darling you know I'll always be here for you" he replies and makes him self comfortable on the side of my bed waiting patiently for me begin. I clear my throat and fleeting images of what happened that night float around in my mind, haunting me as I begin. "I-i was coming back from a fight, and I planned to use the window to get in like usual, b-but then I heard shouting and crying at first I thought nothing of it, because Benji was supposed to be locked in the bedroom, listening to music or, or asleep ya'know? But t-then I heard a crash a-and screaming and I panicked, I went through the front door" I pause and take a deep breath my throat constricts and it feels like I'm being choked as the memory of Benji crying and petrified as my 'dad' stands over him invades my mind. "Shh, shh your safe, Benji's safe, he's gone darling he can't get to you shh. Your okay, deep breaths thats it sweetheart..."Phoenix hushes me gently as he holds me close to him, after calming down I continue, "I-I screamed for him t-to leave him alone, a-and Benji ran upstairs and locked the door, like I taught h-him, he's good like that, h-he does as his told. And that's when the b-beating started he threw me to the f-floor and started kicking me and punching me, but I'd just come back from a fight and I was so tired, but I kept quiet even when he started using his belt b-Because Benji was upstairs a-and he don't need to hear me screaming in pain does he" I laugh though it holds little humour. " he kept trying to get me to scream but I didn't make a sound after all you know what they say right? Little girls should be seen and not heard a-anyway he kept telling me how I shouldn't be alive and how it was my fault my mother died a-and he told me that no one could ever love a disgusting thing like m-me, a-and I thought it was over but it w-wasn't he got the knife and the pain,oh god the pain I felt EVERYTHING and I c-couldn't take it I j-just gave up, I could hear everything I could hear him leave a-and I could h-hear Benji telling me, begging me to stay with him t-to not leave him b-but I was so tired and I hurt s-so much that I gave up I wanted to stay with Benji, I didn't wanna leave but I was so WEAK Phoenix and I needed to be strong and I wasn't" by time I had finished I was rambling and my eyes were stinging with enough tears to fill a river. I couldn't help but fall willingly into his open arms his large hand cradled the back of my head gently as if I was made of glass. "You are not WEAK Raelyn, you've just been strong for far too long, but it's okay now because you have people with you now, and your not alone, you have people who love you, people who want to take care of you " he whispers, " I broke before Phoenix, he broke me. Who's to say I won't break again" I whisper in a weak voice whilst staring into his mesmerising eyes, he stares right back, " you won't break again you know why? Because you have something you didn't have before, and you know what that is?" He asks softly and I shake my head. No. He smiles gently and whispers "you have me. And I'm not going anywhere" and as he leans me back and kisses my forehead whilst murmuring goodnight for once in my seriously fucked up life, I feel safe...