CHAPTER 1
Taylor's POV
I tap my fingers nervously on my knee as we drive closer to the venue. Teen Choice Awards 2013. I should be excited, shouldn't I? I mean I'm nominated, but that's not why I'm nervous at all. What if I run into him? What will people say? What do I say to him? My head hurts from thinking too much about him. Him as in the one and only Harry Styles. I haven't said anything about him to the media. We both just let our relationship die down I guess. We never really solved our problems either. We just stopped talking. Is it bad that I was really falling for him, hard? But he didn't show the same interest in me. I'm still heart broken. He never loved me. Stupid girl, Taylor you're stupid. He only likes you as a friend. You're not good enough for him. That's what everyone else thinks too. Stupid girl. I know I shouldn't read the headlines, and the hate about me, but unfortunately, I got sucked into the black hole that is hate. I'm not ok. Honestly, Harry ruined me, and I'm afraid if he even says one word to me, I will break down in tears. I'm snapped back to reality when I hear Trisha, one of my publicist's voices.
"Taylor? Are you ok?" She says, placing her icy hand on my bare back. I'm wearing a short silver strapless dress with a black tie at my waist. My hair's in a high bun, I'm wearing my favorite black pumps, I'm also wearing black eyeliner with smokey eye makeup, and I painted my nails with a clear, pinkish sort of color. I would've painted my nails myself like I usually do, but my nerves got the best of me, so I got my mom to do them for me. My nerves have gotten the best of me more than usual lately. Last night in Chicago, I broke down in tears during my surprise song, Last Kiss. It was originally written about Joe, but it also totally relates to me and Harry's relationship, which made everything worse when I sung it. The anxiety of seeing Harry again has totally set me off. I know we were both at The Brit awards, but I could actually avoid him there. Here I can't. One Direction is performing at the award show right after I perform, so we'll most definitely see each other backstage. Plus both of us are going to Justin Bieber's after party. Which I'm not excited about at all, but I'm only going for Selena. She wants me to be at the party with her because she's nervous about seeing Justin again, since they were fighting the last time they were together. At least they usually compromise. I'm interrupted again by Trisha's voice. I look over to see my mom laughing at my mindless day dreaming.
"Hello? Taylor? I asked if you were ok?" She asks, obviously concerned as she waves her hand in front of my face.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just.... nervous." I say putting on a fake smile.
"Taylor Swift? Nervous? Please tell me your joking." She scoffs, I'm taken aback when I realize, she's serious.
"I wish I was." I mumble as our black Escalde pulls up to the red carpet. Here goes nothing.
Right when we get out of the car, I'm bombarded by the screams of fans and paparazzi, the cameras, and the flashes. I look back at my mother and give her a worried smile, before I walk over to the fans, putting a smile on my face. They always make me happier, no matter what I'm going through. Trisha hands me a black sharpie, as I begin to sign miscellaneous things.
"I love you Taylor!" I hear a fan scream.
"I love you!" I scream back in response.
"Thank you for being such a great role model. It means so much to us!" A mother towards the front says to me, as I sign her daughter's phone case. That just makes me so happy. I don't need Harry to make me happy. Stop it Taylor, stop thinking about Harry. He's trouble.
