Thirty Five Days

6: Getting Closer

  I was counting down the days to go once again. Not until the end of school as I had been, but until the concert, three days before the end of term. Never before had I felt this level of excitement, never had I been waiting for something to arrive with such a mix of feelings. Elation and excitement hiding a deeper feeling of anxiety.
What if something happened? What if Gerard didn't like me? After all, this would be the first time I actually managed to talk to him. Maybe this wouldn't work out as I was hoping, I mean, I had only seen him once and that wasn't the most normal of encounters. Perhaps everything I dreamed of was just that – a dream. I don't know what I would do if that were the case.
​***​​
​​​"Every time I see you, you look more excited Frank, you know that?"
​​​"It's nice to see you too, Matt," I replied easily. He didn't know about the concert and as far as I was concerned, it could stay that way as long as possible. Just as long as he didn't ask.

"Yeah, yeah. I love seeing you too, whatever. But seriously, why the hell are you this excited? There were still twenty seven days left of school last I counted, so I would think this was just a teensy bit early to be as excited as you are just now. Which leads me back to my question – why are you this excited?"
Of course he asked. He always had to ask. Even when he was little I remember him sitting at the back of the classroom, muttering questions and spreading rumours with his group of friends. Even then he was more popular and cooler than I ever would be.
"Oh, it's just that I'm er...I, I had counted the days wrong and thought we were closer to the end than we actually are. Look, I'm disappointed now."
I did my best to tone down my excitement and look somewhat disheartened, my eyes frantically searching the corridor for Mikey in the hope that I could somehow use him to get out of this awful situation.
"Right, whatever. You've never been any good at numbers. What I actually wanted to know (before your stupid excitement distracted me) was if you wanted to come to the band practice tonight? We sound pretty good now, I think, and since Battle of the Bands is pretty soon now we could do with an outside ear, you know, someone who hasn't been involved in the whole process, just to tell us if it is actually working. What d'ya say?"
Matt asked the question in a way that suggested he felt he was doing me a favour, rather than asking for one himself. Perhaps he thought that's what it was.
"Only if Mikey's invited too. He actually likes a lot of the same stuff as us and, anyway, he was actually assigned to Chris, not me, so he's kinda supposed to be included in things. Like band practice."
I added the last bit just in case Matt hadn't quite understood: it wouldn't be the first time.
He seemed to consider it for a long time before shrugging and saying, "Yeah, whatever. If he wants."

***

I eventually found Mikey just leaving Geography – the only class he had that I wasn't in.
"Guess what? I managed to get you another invite to bad practice. It doesn't matter if you can't come, it's just that Matt invited me and I really can't be bothered to go and listen to them play the same song over and over again so I thought maybe you could come as well. If it's too short notice then it doesn't matter but I thought it would be cool to hang out outside of school again, you know, without skipping class like we did last time."
He nodded, giving me a rare almost-smile, as if he was unsure as to exactly how to respond to my suggestion.
"That sounds good. I'll have to check it with Gerard or my grandma but I don't think they'll have a problem with it. Gerard's always happy when I leave the house more than he does."
"Wait, don't you go out more than he does by default, since you're here and he, well, isn't?"
I couldn't imagine Gerard in school somehow. It just seemed wrong, like trying to imagine your favourite comic book character in class with you. Actually, having the Sandman in my art class seemed more realistic than having Gerard there, now that I came to think of it.
"Actually, Gerard leaves the house at least once a week to top up on cigarettes since Grandma refuses to buy them for him. Alcohol she'll buy, but not smokes."
"I didn't know your brother smoked."
Of course that's what I picked up on. The fact that Gerard, who seemed so perfect, was actually slowly but surely killing himself.
"Oh, er, yeah. He started in high school. People picked on him because of our dad so he started to look for ways to get away from them all. Smoking's pretty much the only thing he still does. He probably wouldn't want me telling you all this though. It's not something he really talks about with other people. Or any people, really."
"No, that's fine. I totally understand."
God, I felt like such a fucking idiot. I should have realised that there would be some underlying story to the smoking.
Still though, I can't say that this revelation about Gerard made him any less attractive.

***

As I expected, Mikey and I spent most of the band practice whispering excitedly about the concert next month, only occasionally applauding Matt, Chris and Dom when they glared at us, or asked what we thought of the song this time.
Normally, band practices dragged on, an eternity of me being ignored unless they wanted my praise. This one, however, was different. I barely noticed the time passing until Mikey's phone buzzed in his pocket about two seconds after I had let mine ring out, unanswered, in my pocket.
"Grandma's wondering when I'm actually coming back. Maybe I'll tell her that it doesn't look like the Rocket Baby Dolls are going to let me leave and that I'm going to be stuck here forever, listening to Matt singing in a pitch more frequently used by women."
"Shit, I hadn't realised the time. We should probably get going since I promised my mum I would be home in time for dinner. I'll walk back with you if you like?"
"Apparently Gerard's said he'll drive me back if I give him the address. I'm sure he'll be happy to take you too, I mean, it's not like your house is out of our way?"
My heart jumped at the chance of seeing Gerard again and I agreed immediately, telling Mikey Dom's address so he could text it to Gerard.

We shouted our goodbyes to Matt, Chris and Dom over the music, before heading outside to wait for Gerard, my heart beating faster with every second Gerard got closer.​​  

AN: Here you go - finally another update! Sorry it took so long, I had a lot on at school and the only reason I got this done is because we had a creative writing period today. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, as always, don't forget to vote/comment! Thanks for reading! :)