Thirty Five Days

8: Messages

  I had barely managed to get the door closed before my mother appeared at the top of the stairs, looking worried.

"What the hell have you been doing Frank? I called you and text you God knows how many times but you haven't even read any of them, never mind answering the bloody phone. Honestly, I don't know why you even have a phone, you never seem to use it! It's too late for you to be wandering around, you know that. You know it's not safe for anybody to be out by themselves at this time of night, especially in the dark, and especially when they're a teenage boy who spends more time with his headphones in than without them!It can't be that hard to just send me a text, really, can it now? If you keep going like this, I'll have to ground you and I'm sure you don't want to spend the last few weeks of high school stuck inside the house, do you?"

Even though I knew she was right I was still annoyed. I had been in such a good mood after having the chance to actually talk to Gerard, even if he spoke with Mikey more than with me. Those few grins had left me almost deliriously happy as I made my way back into the house. All that came crashing down around me as my mother shouted at me.

"I was at Dom's, the only place I ever am. And I wasn't wandering around alone after dark, thank you very much, I am not actually that stupid! Gerard drove me back for your information, so unless something was going to happen to me between getting out of his car and opening our front door I don't think there's a fucking problem!"

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew I had gone too far but it was definitely too late now to make things better with a simple apology. She seemed as shocked as I was by what I had just said, not because we didn't normally swear around each other in our house (which we didn't really) but more because it was a long time since I had gotten mad enough with either of parents to actually scream at them like that.

"Frank, are you...okay?"

"What?"

Her response surprised me to say the least. I had been expecting a full blown shouting match ending only when one of us stormed into another room rather than lashing out. Instead, here she was, asking me softly if I was okay.

"Are you okay? I, I just feel like you must be so stressed right now about all your school stuff and all your friends and things and the last thing you need on top of that is to come home an hour late one night and have me shout my head off before you've even put your bag down. I overreacted and I'm sorry. I should have known that you wouldn't walk around by yourself – you're right, you're not a little kid and you're absolutely not stupid. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that."

"Wh-what, no it's fine. I could have just sent you a text or picked up the phone, it's my fault you were that worked up in the first place. And anyway, I really shouldn't have retaliated like that. Sorry."
I found it hard to believe that I was going to get off with the whole incident this lightly, but I wasn't exactly going to argue with her about it either. I smiled at her, hoping to smooth the whole thing over as I started towards the stairs.

"In the future, Frank, if you're going to be out this late please let me know. It doesn't take too much effort to send a text and then situations like this don't occur. I'm letting you off this time but it had better not happen again..."

"Thanks Mum!" I was up the stairs before she had a chance to change her mind.
My phone buzzed as I closed my bedroom door behind me, settling down onto my dark bed covers. There was one new message from...Gerard. My heart pounded as I swiped the screen, desperately hoping my shitty phone would work with me and accept the passcode the first time around.

***

Hey Frank, I'm glad I had the chance to talk to you properly this time (although Mikey always did have a talent for interrupting). I was just wondering if you had the times for the concert next month, just so I can work out transport – if it's not too late, I'm happy to drive us all since your mum has very kindly said she'll pay for the tickets. Gerard x

That one tiny x on the end of the message made my heart flutter as I read it. All the anger I had felt melted away as I started to type my reply.

Hi Gerard, it was great talking to you too. The doors open at 6:30 for the concert so we should probably leave here at least before 5 if we want an even vaguely decent spot. If youre happy to drive then that would be great, thanks. Ill speak to you soon (maybe without Mikey some time?) frank x

There was no reason for me to be nervous about sending the message to him and yet I could feel my heart in my throat as I waited for a response.

Sounds good. I'll text you closer to the time with more finalised travel arrangements but I would definitely say that the sooner we get there the better – I don't mind standing in a queue for a couple of hours if it means I get a good view! What's your opinion on mosh pits by the way? G x

Mosh pits?! I smiled as I imagined, not for the first time, the countless ways in which I might end up being pushed up against Gerard during the concert, removing all the physical barriers between us. For me, this concert was my best chance with the man that I so desperately wanted.

I dont mind mosh pits, considering how much I normally dislike physical contact with strangers! What about you? Frank x

I would have to agree with you Frank. One of the reasons I stopped going out much was because I really don't like big groups of people and yet that all seems to fade into the background at concerts. G x

"Frank, why are you grinning like that?"

I glanced up from my phone as my mum opened the door and made her way across the room to the foot of my bed.

"What? Oh, er, I was just texting Gerard about the concert. We were making travel plans."

"Already? The concert's not for another few weeks yet, don't you think it's a bit early for travel plans?"

"No, not really. He's offered to drive since you're paying for the tickets and I said that would be fine, so there's one less thing for you to worry about."

I smiled at her, hoping she'd leave quickly so that I could go back to texting Gerard.

Those hopes vanished as she sat down on the end of my bed, nodding to herself.

"Well, I hope you thanked him from me for his offer to drive. But anyway, I didn't come up to ask about your travel plans. I was just going to ask how things were going with Matt and Chris?"

This wasn't particularly something I wanted to discuss with anyone but I knew that she was trying to be nice, and besides, I had already gotten away with shit once tonight so I didn't really want to chance my luck for a second time.

"Matt and Chris are...good, I guess, but really I just hang around with Mikey most of the time. I obviously still go to Dom's with Matt and Chris, but Mikey's there too and it just feels much more, I dunno, relaxed, maybe. Like I still wish Matt and Chris would pay attention to me other than when they're looking for applause but, really, I can't see the point in wasting my time trying to get them to talk to me when Mikey is perfectly happy to chat with me. And talking to Mikey doesn't involve me repeating myself three or four times just because some supposedly hot girl walks past, stealing the few seconds of attention I actually get, so you know, that's kinda nice for a change."

"Well, I'm just glad that you finally seem happy again. It's been too long since I saw you smile the way you were when you got back tonight or the way you were when I came in here."

She stood up and headed over to the door, almost leaving before turning back round and adding,

"Frank, are you gay? Just because that smile I just mentioned, well it's more than happy, it's...smitten."

Shit. I didn't know if I should tell her or not since I was unsure of what her reaction would be. I had realised about a year ago that I was more into guys than girls and for a while I had thought I might be bi, until a few drunk kisses here and there (and then one all-too-sober kiss) had shown me that I was absolutely, definitely not into girls.

"Er, yeah, I think so," I made my voice as small as I could, hoping to keep her reaction to a minimum if it went badly.

"Okay, cool. And is it Mikey or his brother that you have a crush on?"

AN:Have another update, lovely people! I promise true Frerard is getting closer and closer...

Hope you enjoy this chapter, thanks for reading and as always, don't forget to vote/comment! :)