Just Friends / Namjin

4.

Namjoon's POV

It hurt me seeing the pained expression on Jin's face but I had to do it. No matter how much I regretted it I knew it was the right choice. I wanted to be with him and call him mine but I was afraid I'd break his poor little heart since I seem to always break things but that's not the main point here.

Ever since middle school I've always questioned my sexuality. I seemed to find an interest in both boys and girls but my parents taught me that it wasn't right for a person to fall in love with the same gender. They loved me and I was grateful for that but I knew if I even asked one single question about it they'd be disappointed in me.

I saw many different girls just to get the thought of Jin out of my head but I couldn't. He seemed to always be caught up in my mind and it fucking scared me. He's the one thing I don't want to hurt and yet here I am hurting him. I have to make sacrifices in order for him to be safe. Then again Mark is in the way but I swear on my life to keep him safe.

I will keep you safe Kim Seokjin. Even if it hurts. I will.

-

The day went pretty fast and soon the school bell rang indicating that school was over. It was a bit awkward between Jin and I through out the day but we managed.

I ran out trying to look for Jin so we could at least walk home together but I couldn't find him at all. I grew worried since Mark wasn't with his usual group.

I've noticed that Jackson was quite close to Mark but Mark didn't see Jackson like he wanted him too. Mark was always after my Jin for some reason and that made him jealous and of course me to but I know my princess won't ever fall for a guy like him. Plus who would ever fall in love with the person that has tourtured them for half of their life? I sure as hell wouldn't.

Jackson gave me a death glare as I walked by but I didn't give a shit. I need to find Jin. Where do I even start? I decided to text Taehyung and Jungkook to help me look for him around the school. They were gonna check the top floor while I checked the bottom but so far we've got zero. I sighed in defeat but remembered I never checked the gym.

I went outside to go check the gym and as I came closer I heard some shouts. I quickly texted Taehyung to meet me at the gym with Jungkook. I sprinted towards the direction I heard the shouts and saw someone pinning Mark down on the ground as he yelled to be let go and two other guys around Jin. I saw Jin bleeding from his nose as I got closer. That really set me off making me run faster.

"JIN ARE YOU OKAY?!" I yelled falling down next to him taking off my jacket to place it over his nose. I saw his cheeks tint to a lighter shade of pink which instantly made me smile.

It's nice knowing I'm the reason for that.

"Hey don't do that! I have tissues here" a boy with redish hair and a baby like face said. He placed it tissue over his nose and start to clean it gently. I scoffed as Jin's cheek grew red again but this time it wasn't me that caused it.

"Hey! Who do you think you are!" I yelled angrily. I only take care of Jin.

"Hey calm your shit. If you haven't noticed we came to help first" a guy with mint green hair spoke obviously annoyed. I rolled my eyes at him knowing he was right. I heard a grunt behind me and saw the boy who was on top of Mark earlier was on the ground rubbing his now in pain crotch.

"Hopieeee! Baby are you okay?" The mint green boy asked worriedly going to his aid. He nodded but added "I'd feel better if you gave me a kiss." He puckered his lips and waited for the mint boy to kiss him back.

"Aish Hoseok! Not now" the boy said pushing him down on the ground before getting up.

"Yoongi hyungggg" Hoseok I'm guessing replied hugging his leg. I rolled my eyes at the two and focused my attention on Jin.

"Why didn't you wait for me after school like you always do?" I asked this time in a calmer time to Jin. He looked down avoiding my gaze. Tears were streaming down his face and he suddenly broken down. I immediately took him in my arms but he pushed me away with anger. I was shocked since Jin was never like this. Taehyung and Jungkook had arrived and were confused but stayed silent.

"Why don't you like me Namjoon?! Am I not good enough?! Am I not what you want?! Why" he cried out. I had a pain in my heart seeing him like this and it's all because of me.

If you only knew.

"Jin I- ... I fucking love you. God you're the only thing I think of day and night and it drives me insane. I want you so so bad but I can't. I just can't" I told him holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. I held them in because I knew if let them out I would fall apart.

"Don't fight it Namjoon. Just love me" he spoke above a whisper. His features soften almost fragile.

I want to Jin. I want to.

"I'm sorry" was all I said before I dashed off running god knows where as I let silent tears run down my cheeks.

I'm such a coward for leaving you like that and I know I can never win you back.

My vision was blurred with tears I didn't see I had tripped over my own foot causing me to land painfully on the ground. Even though my body ached in pain I couldn't seem to pay any attention to it as my heart hurted the most.

Sorry won't ever be enough all you wanted was my love.

Maybe in another life I will be able to call you mine.

Hi lovelies ^.^
Sorry it took awhile for me to update a lot of things occured and well so didn't have the time to update but I had time today so I hoped you enjoyed it

Tbh I have no idea what I'm doing with the plot I guess I'm just going with flow but please leave comments if you love it so far :)

I'll update in a couple days babes love you all x