Just Friends / Namjin

Personal Note

So here is where I'm going to get deep and personal to hopefully inspire some of you to open up as it can really help a lot. Or maybe you're just here for the drama which is totally fine lmao.

Okay so seventh-grade me had unknowingly fallen in love with her best friend which doesn't seem too bad right? Well it could and DID complicate things since she saw a girl and I was raised in a religious household where that was seen as a sin. The worse part was my dad is a pastor so it would definitely look bad on the church. Anyways I didn't think too much of it and continued being friends with her until eight-grade year where she had moved to another school. Eight-grade year was probably my worst year ever in school combined so far. I got severely depressed and closed myself off from my friends because I was simply lost and confused with myself as my best friend being gone only made it worse. I would constantly think and dream about her but yet I still denied the fact that I could possibly be into girls too (I had a previous boy love).

Freshman year pulls up and at first I'm paranoid as shit until I meet a "friend" who later complicates things more for me but I'll get into that later. So during that year I actually come to the conclusion of accepting myself as bi. My friend ended up finding out cause my dumb ass tweeted it on Twitter where we follow each other but she accepted me with wide arms which I was grateful for. For a while I am content with her just knowing but I didn't want to be closed in the closest forever although at that time I had too. THEN another "friend" pops up in the picture which officially starts the drama of my freshman year. So you won't get confused my first friend that I had in high school that first knew of me being bi is will be named 'F' and the other friend who popped up later in the picture is named 'P'.

So F and I were the bestest of friends like we were really close if you hadn't guessed already. Everything was going smoothly until I had met P who was in desperate need of a friend. She was lonely and me being the nice person I was befriended her but after I did that F got jealous. I tried to make them be friends too but it just wouldn't work out. I eventually became more closer to P as F would just get angry and and wouldn't talk to me because she would get overly jealous. P kept telling me F would throw her dirty looks and would comment 'indirect' things at her and so since I grew gradually close to P I believed her. Through this I kindly asked F to stop but she kept denying that she did anything. It frustrated me as I was in the middle of this not wanting to pick sides but I still ended up doing so. This caused F and I to have an on and off friendship which lasted till my sophomore year until I completely stop talking to her.