Just Friends / Namjin

11.

Jin's POV

I didn't get any sleep at all. I couldn't. I tried moving every now and then but it was impossible as I had two sleeping bodies besides me. I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of that but because I had a certain someone in my mind. My achy heart never seemed to go away either. I got up several times to drink some water and even eat some leftovers but nothing worked. I couldn't get Namjoon off my mind. He was kind. He was gentle. But that look he had given Yoongi....he looked like he was gonna kill him. He even hurt me. It seemed as if he lost control of his rage. It frighten me.

My mother had the exact same problem and she's no longer here anymore. She almost had the same characteristics as Joonie and that's what I loved about him.

Even if I was young I knew she needed help. She would refuse and say that she was perfectly fine. Me and her both knew she was lying but I didn't push it too far until one day I did.

I called a health agency and they came to pick her up at our house. My father was drunk so he didn't care. She grew furious at this and started throwing things around screaming. She almost came at me when the people in the agency grabbed her. She thrashed around and eventually got free but she stopped for a moment and looked at me with tears in her eyes almost realising her mistake. She mouthed an 'I'm sorry' and took off running to the main roads. I quickly ran after her but it was too late. A trailer had hit her face first. I watched in horror.

It was all my fault. I just wanted to help her.

My father blamed me all for it and I couldn't blame him. If I hadn't called them she would still be here.

Now I have to pay the consequences and bare with the pain. I deserve it. It's no wonder why my father didn't want me in the first place. I took away the love of his life. Now God has punished me and taken away the love of my life.

It seems to hurt more knowing he's alive and breathing but I just can't hold and touch him as if he were dead.

Fate brought us once together now it's tearing us apart.

Was it selfish of me that I cared so much for my mother? Did I love her too much that she had to get taken away from me because of my mistake? I just don't understand why. The guilt is becoming too much for me.

I'm sorry I cared too much. I'm sorry I loved you too much. I just wanted the best for you.

~

"Hyung? Are you alright?" I heard someone say gently shaking me awake. I forced my eyes open and harshly rubbed my face trying to get rid of how sticky it was. I yawned and looked around me. I was in the kitchen and realized I slept in between my meal.

The events of yesterday replayed in my head and I shuddered. So I guess it wasn't a dream.

"I'll be okay. What time is it?" I asked Jimin stretching my tense muscles.

Jimin had taken care of Yoongi and I despite him being shaken up about what had happened. He even apologised about being a horrible friend but I told him it didn't matter as long as he wouldn't do it again. He cleaned up my cut and put a bandage over it. He also kissed us saying it'll heal faster. I rolled my eyes at his silly belief.

He's such a good friend to me.

We all cuddled together on my bed after a long day. Jimin said he would talk to Yoongi in the morning since they were pretty close.

"It's 7:23am. Are you still planning to go to school?" Jimin asked grabbing my empty glass of water and refilling it. He gave it to me and I gave him a small smile in reply. I chugged down the water and sighed.