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Chapter 13: It's Never A Bad Time To Praise The Lord

Chapter 13: It's Never A Bad Time To Praise The Lord

A week later, on the morning of Bradley’s birthday, I woke up both excited and strangely, a bit heartbroken. And not just because we’re not a couple anymore. For an entirely different reason. I mean, I’m going home to Michigan tomorrow, which makes me indescribably happy, so I won’t have to sit around this house all day pretending to be happy when really, I’m miserable. What with Tanner forcing food down my throat every two seconds and Mikey and Walker both trying to force me out of the house and go sightseeing around Italy with them. I don’t want to go sightseeing, because I’m so over Italy and I’m so over this stupid summer vacation. Sure, the city and country are both breathtakingly beautiful, but I really can’t take being here anymore.

Back to the guys though, I know that they’re just trying to make me feel better about the Bradley thing—  Jaime and Elena are too, I think, but they’re nowhere near as pushy as the Walker, Mikey and Tanner are with it—  but it’s really not working. In fact it actually makes me feel a tad bit worse; Tanner and Elena are practically a thing now and Jaime and Mikey are obviously still together, meaning that Walker’s really the only completely single one and whenever we hang out around the house, we just talk or eat until I fall asleep. I do a lot of that now, sleep, I mean. We’re currently doing a Harry Potter marathon, trying to watch all eight of the movies and we’re up to Order of the Phoenix now, which is the fifth, so we’re making lots of progress. I mean, not currently as in right now, but that’s what we were doing last night before I fell asleep.

So, that’s the reason I’m happy, because I’m going home, but like I said, I’m also a little heartbroken, more so than usual. The fact of the matter is that after I board the plane tomorrow, I’m gone. I’m gone from Italy and I’m not coming back. I’m leaving Mikey. I’m leaving Tanner. I’m leaving Walker. I’m leaving Bradley. I’m leaving Elena. I’m leaving Jaime. I’m leaving Francesca. Then there’s the other one, but I don’t mind leaving him because I’m tired of seeing his stupid face because he’s always wearing his stupid smirk and I just want to take a sledgehammer and smash it into his face, knocking the stupid smirk off.

When I go back home tomorrow, I’ll be staying at the beach house with Arianna, Charlie and Jared, most likely so that my mother doesn’t go off on me or something. That being said, I don’t know when I’ll see my friends again. Or even if I will see them again. And that thought terrifies me. I mean, they’re not coming home until August and soon thereafter, we’ll all be going to our different colleges and who knows when we’ll see each other again after that? Thanksgiving? Christmas? New Years? Heck, maybe we won’t even see each other again until next summer.

Then again, it’s not as if anyone’s forcing me to come back home. Arianna’s not sending the ticket until tomorrow, she says, so if I wanted to, I could change my mind now and call my sister, telling her that I don’t want to come home anymore. If I did that, she’d have lost no money, but I’m not going to do that. I can’t do that. I can’t stay here. Not while Bradley and Drew are still here. It’s just too hard for me. I know it seems like a baby-ish, weak thing to do but I never claimed to be strong. Because I’m not. I’m actually weak and way too sensitive for my own good. And I know that it seems like I’m running from my problems, but that's because I am.

Yes, I know that just because I go home my heart won’t feel any better. I know that just because Bradley and I are gonna be nearly five thousand miles away from each other, it won’t make me get over him. But I’m hoping that distancing myself from him at least makes it easier to move on or at least attempt to. You know, since I won’t have to see his face every day. Then of course I won’t have to see Drew every day and that’ll be nice because I think that whenever I see him, my blood pressure goes up because I just get so mad.