His Choice (The Selection)

Chapter Thirty Nine

Wrote by firerose11

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I gave my parents no explanation. I didn't feel any particular love towards my father especially; after all, it was his letters that had driven such a wedge between Charles and me.

Lily had come over several times since I had come home to find me curled up in bed, usually eating something sugary or staring off into space.

"You know, the prince didn't look happy when they announced that the Selection was over. He looked just as miserable as you are," she said the first time, sitting across from me.

I crunched harder on the chocolate-covered pretzels I was eating, struggling not to cry at the mention of Charles. It was only two days after I had been sent back home, and the very thought of him could reduce me to tears.

My friend talked for another half an hour before realizing that I wasn't going to participate in any kind of conversation. Gently she straightened a corner of my sheets and disappeared out the door.

A week later, she returned, this time bearing an offering of ice cream. I sat up when I spied the sugary goodness and reached greedily for the container.

Lily sighed and popped the top off, producing two spoons. "I'm sorry, Embs. I know this isn't how you thought it was going to end."

I scooped out a generous helping, hoping she didn't expect me to answer as long as my mouth was full.

"This isn't the right time to tell you this, but Nathan and I are planning on getting married. We announced the engagement to my parents, and they weren't pleased with my choice but accepted that there was nothing they could do to change my mind."

At her words, I expected to feel the familiar flood of tears, but nothing came. Instead, I felt a vast emptiness well up inside me like I had managed to numb myself from the pain.

"I'm glad that it worked out for you, Lily," I managed to place some emotion in my voice, the first words I had really said since that night. "I hope the two of you have a long happy life together."

She beamed as brightly as if she had heard her child say their first words. This visit lasted long with me adding to the conversation occasionally.

By her third visit, I had managed to drag myself out of bed and was instead sitting in a chair, staring unseeing at the world moving without me.

"It's official," Lily said. "Their engagement has been announced. The wedding's in a month and a half."

I didn't even have to ask her who she was talking about. It hadn't taken long at all for him to do the very thing I accused him of.

Surprising enough, as if that was the final confirmation I needed, I began to live again. I went back to school, finishing up what little I had left, I showered regularly and sat at meals with the rest of the family, and I got along as best as I could.

The television and any sort of news I avoided like the plague, not wanting to be reminded anymore of my disgrace. It was bad enough having to hear other speculate about why I had left the Selection.

There were moments when I wanted to accept one of the interview offers and scream to Illéa that their prince had made promise to me before throwing them all in my face.

I couldn't though.

Despite everything that he had said that last time, there were still the moments that I remembered from before, the good moments. He was my first love and likely my last because I wasn't ever going to go through that pain again.

It was much to my surprise that I walked down to dinner one night to find Tanner seated in the chair next to the one I normally occupied.

"Ember, I believe that you have meet Tanner," my father said as the younger man rose out of his seat to pull out my chair.

I acknowledge both the gesture and my father's words with a simple nod.

"Tanner is the our ambassador to New Asia's son. Seeing your recent failure at the Selection, I have decided to accept his offer of marriage."

There would have been a time that I would have raged against such a declaration; even then I could feel that part of me waking in my head, but I soothed her carefully.

"That's lovely, Father. When is the wedding?"

He blinked at me like he couldn't quite believe that those words had come out of my mouth. The moment soon passed, and he attempted to answer my question. "Likely within the next year. That is, if it's satisfactory to you, Ember?"

I shrugged and resumed picking at my food. There was nothing left for me to say. I had disgraced the family, I had been abandoned by the person I thought had loved me, and now I must marry someone I felt little to no affection for.

As soon as I could politely leave, I excused myself and disappeared out of the dining room. It wasn't long until the sound of footsteps followed me.

"Miss Shields," Tanner said from behind me, "I know that I'm not the person you would choose to marry, and I know that I will likely not have my love returned. I just hope that we can reach a place where the marriage is comfortable for both of us."

I paused with one hand on the stair railing. "I have not desire to love anyone ever again. The moment I chose to open my heart, I was handed it back, shattered. I will be a good wife, but I will never love you. I hope you can live with that."

With those words, I barricaded myself in my room for the night.

My mother, despite her early disappointment of not becoming the in-law of the royal family, took the new marriage plans in stride. I was stuffed into gowns, feed extremely rich food, and scolded about the weight I had put on since I had come home.

Every evening without a fail, Tanner would take me out for a stroll. I saw it as his way to acquaint us with each other for the wedding.

Even with my reservations about the ambassador's son, he became a friend. He told me that his father had dropped out the election after choosing to keep his ambassador role; I started to tell him about Charles.

During those quiet evenings, I realized that I was starting to heal from the rejection. Sure, I still couldn't read magazines or watch the Report, but the mention of the prince's name no longer caused me to burst into uncontrollable tears or feel nothing at all.

For the first time in a month, I was content with my life and where it was going.

Then, once again, my world shattered in a single night.