His Choice (The Selection)

Chapter Forty Two

Wrote by firerose11

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Tanner gently traced my jaw. "I'll be back before you know it, Ember."

"I still can't understand why your father needs you now," I whispered, laying my hand on top of his. "He knows we're in the middle of wedding preparations."

My fiance smiled. "We'll be fine. Now that the whole business with the prince is cleared up, the wedding is free to move forward. You still have two months to plan it."

"I wanted you here though," I answered. "You're going to be miles away before going across an ocean to join your father."

"Don't fret. I'll always come back to you even if I have to swim across the ocean to get here."

Carefully, Tanner tilted my head and kissed me. After we broke apart, chests heaving, he ran his fingers delicately over the entirety of my face like he was trying to commit every inch to memory.

"I love you, Ember Shields," he muttered, resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you too," I whispered back. "Now, you better get going before they leave you."

He quickly kissed me again before disappearing out the door. I watched him go, my mended heart filled with more love than I thought possible.

It would have been easier to forget that Tanner was gone than I thought with how busy I was, preparing for Lily's wedding as well as my own, but after my confession in front of the prince, I felt his absence acutely.

Lily was bustling with energy because her wedding was in three days, and I was tasked with keeping her moving before she got in trouble.

Her parents had agreed to pay for a portion of the wedding as long as Nathan promised to live with them.  After all, he wasn't considered able to take care of my friend because he wasn't part of the upper crust of society.

"This dress makes me look paler than I actually am, doesn't it?" She fretted as she tried on her wedding dress for the twentieth time since it had arrived that morning.

The white satin draped down to her ankles in flowing ripples.  The bodice was beaded over with shiny baubles that threw rainbows across the room every time Lily so much as shifted.

"I think you look fine," I answered from where I was lounging on her bed, bored out of my mind.  "Since I love you so much, I will also refrain from reminding you that I have told you the same thing every other time you've asked me."

Lily sighed and bit the inside of her cheek.  "I don't want to just look fine, Embs.  I want to look stunning, unforgettable, and hot enough that Nathan's jaw is going to hit the floor when I walk down the aisle towards him."

"You're all of those things even when you aren't dressed in that gown," I reassured her.  "I know you want to look wonderful for your wedding, but Nathan's not likely to remember what the dress even looked like.  It's more likely that he'll remember being incredibly nervous and wondering how he ever ended up with such a brilliant, sarcastic, funny, sweet woman in love with him."

"You're going to make me cry," my friend scolded as tears started to form in her eyes.  "Do you really think that's what Nathan thinks when he sees me?"

Unfolding my legs and hopping off the bed, I hugged her as tightly as I dared.  "Of course, I do.  There's so much more to the Lily I know than beauty, and if I can see that, your fiance certainly can see it."

Lily squeezed me back, smiling even as a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.  "Thank you, Embs.  You're the best friend I could ever ask for, and I almost pity the prince for throwing you away."

"I have Tanner," I retorted.  "He's all the riches I'll ever need, and I don't think about everything that I lost the day that I threw the prince out of my life."

That was a lie, but I wasn't ever going to admit to anyone that I had even wasted tears on his worthless butt.

The three days passed quickly for me, so I couldn't even imagine how fast they went for Nathan and Lily.  It had been a week since Tanner had left, but Lily had sternly warned me that, no matter what, there were to be no tears at her wedding.

Here I was, stuffed in a sunrise-orange dress with a bouquet of tiger lilies in my hands, as I waited to take my place as maid of honor.  Lily was fidgeting behind me, but I ignored, focusing only on how I had rehearsed my entrance.

When my cue arrived, I moved down the aisle with calculated slow steps, managing not to trip and embarrass myself as I took my place.

I turned just in time to find my friend glide in on her father's arm, radiant in the dress that she had worried about.  A glow had settled on her cheeks, and even as the rest of the room focused their attention on the bride, she only had eyes for her groom.

Glancing over, I found that there was moisture collecting in Nathan's eyes, and I was quite pleased by the reaction.  Theirs was a love that wasn't going to fade with time, wasn't going to break in struggles, but instead, blossom into an iron will that would never even bend.

I didn't listen to most of the wedding, staring at the way that the two of them communicated their affection with only a meaningful look.  I wondered if that's how Tanner and I would look at our wedding.

After the ceremony had concluded and the entire wedding party had endured more pictures than should be permitted, I eased off my high heels under the table at the reception.

It had been hours since I had last ate, but I found I had no appetite.  I was content to sit silently and observe the other guests as they congratulated the couple and Lily's parents, who beamed at the praise.

My eyes were making another round around the crowded room when I found someone who didn't quite belong.  A man was talking to one of the guests, and right as I looked in their direction, the guest pointed towards me.

The other weaved his way through the mass of humanity before climbing the dais to reach my seat.

"Are you Miss Ember Shields?" He asked, waiting for my silent nod before withdrawing a thin envelope from his pocket.  "I'm sorry, miss, to be the bearer of this news."

I blinked at him, but he didn't elaborate, only inclining his head, before retreating as quickly as he came.

Carefully, I lifted the flap of the envelope, scanning the contents.  The shock set in quickly, and stunned, I watched the piece of paper flutter to the ground, words planting their faces face down.

Without bothering to breathe a word to anyone or even retrieve my shoes from beneath the table, I hurried into the gardens.

There, I found a bench and sat down hard on it, burying my face in my hands.

Then the tears came, and I felt the pain course through from the memory of the only words that had mattered on that letter.

Miss Shields, I am remorseful to inform you that Tanner has passed away.

Trying in vain to muffle my sobs, I felt my heart shatter into pieces on the happiest day of Lily's life, knowing that no amount of glue would ever repair it.

Once my eyes stopped leaking, desperate animal noises were dragged out of me in moans.  I cursed the love that had broken me so many times, cursed those romantics who had made me believe that it didn't hurt, and cursed Fate and God and anything else that I could think of that could have had a hand in this pain.

Drowning in melancholy, I slid off the bench, limp as a rag doll, even as words from that horrid letter marched endlessly through my head.

Tanner has passed away.
He died two days ago.
Sorry to inform you.
It was an accident, but the driver will claim full responsibility.
His last words were of you.
He asked for forgiveness for leaving and wanted you to find happiness.

Unable to contain all the pain and grief and misery within me anymore, I tilted my face to the sky and released it all in a wordless howl.

Disclaimer: Kiera Cass owns The Selection, not us.