Change Me (Camila Cabello & Jack Gilinsky)

Twenty Nine

Camila
"He's going to do it again. Don't listen to him." Lauren said.

"He didn't mean to." I quietly said as I touched my face.

"He would never mean to hurt me." I added.

"Neither did Jack." Lauren said.

"Jack is not who I love, Beau is...and I know Beau loves me too."

"Then he wouldn't hit you." Lauren argued.

"Please don't tell anyone, I don't want anyone to know...even if it was an accident he-he was drunk and that could look bad." I quickly said.

"I-I can't do that." Lauren shook her head.

"Why can't you?" I quickly turned my head.

"I can't let this happen, I can't keep that a secret." Lauren said.

"You can't tell anyone." I demanded.

"He will hurt you again Camila, I can't just let this happen." Lauren quickly left the bathroom.

I followed after her, yelling her name but she kept going down the stairs.

"Jack, I need to talk to you." Lauren spoke, as she walked even closer towards Jack.

"Lauren, don't." Anger began building up inside me.

"He needs to know." Lauren looked at me then back at Jack.

"What's going on?" Jack furrowed his eyebrows.

He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his hair was messy. And our awkward encounter yesterday of him talking badly of Beau would not make things any better.

If he found out about Beau hitting me last night, it would be a nightmare.

"Lauren, please don't tell him." my voice cracked, and tears began to fill my eyes.

Telling Jack that Beau punched me in my face would have Jack sympathize me and want to kill Beau.

I didn't want Jack to be in my problems anymore, I didn't want him to protect me anymore because things aren't the way the used to be.

"Tell me what?" Jack looked me in the eyes. We stood across the room from each other and I was praying that Lauren wouldn't tell him.

Johnson and Sam were sitting on the couch, shifting their eyes towards Jack, Lauren and I back and forth.

"Jack-"

"Lauren stop." I cried, cutting her off as I began sobbing.

"What is it Camila? What's wrong?" His soft voice made my knees weak even at my worst, he began walking slowly towards me but I kept stepping further backward.

"Please, just stop-"

"Camila, we're your friends. We want to help." Lauren said.

"Help her with what?" Jack turned to Lauren.

Lauren looked quickly at me, then back to Jack.

"Beau...he-he hit her last night. Again."

"Again?" Jack turned and looked at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack began walking closer towards me as I stepped back.

"You hurt me Jack, you did the same he did and-"

"And you forgave him, but not me. I would never hurt you Camila, I can't fucking believe you." Jack pushed past me going up the stairs.

"How dare you blame this on me, like this is Karma and I am not even the victim here, you are-"

"I'm not blaming any of this on you. I can't believe you let yourself get treated this way when you shouldn't be! And-and you let this happen why didn't you tell me?-"

"Because you hurt me too." I cut him off.

he fell silent for a few seconds.

"I never meant to hurt you." he said barely loud enough for me to hear.

Deep down, I know he never meant to.

But did Beau ever mean to hurt me?

he had said it before, but not the way Jack did.

Beaus eyes were unreadable when he told me that, and his voice wasn't like how sorry Jack's sounded.

It felt off.

-

After pacing back and forth in the living room for hours, and I even left and went on a walk to think, finally I had I decided to talk to Jack.

I let out a deep breath and began going up the stairs.

Each step I went up made my heart beat faster and by the time I reached his door I felt like I was going to vomit.

I knocked and the door slowly opened.

I wasn't expecting Lauren to open the door, wearing Jacks shorts and shirt.

"Hey." Lauren awkwardly gave me a half smile.

A million thoughts flooded my head and I froze in my spot.

"...I didn't know you two were a thing..." I slowly said, and now I honestly did feel like I was going to vomit because I felt so physically sick.

"Camila," Jack stood behind Lauren in the doorway not wearing a shirt.

"...You alright?"

I quickly ran down the stairs with Jack calling after me, I was doing my best not to cry, blinking back the tears.

I couldn't even manage to spit out a few words I was so angry, and disappointed and upset.

Not just at Lauren for sleeping with Jack but I was angry at myself for letting this all happen.

I was angry at myself for driving Jack to move on, and for letting Beau hit me, and for leaving Jack, and I was angry at myself in this moment I wanted someone to end my own life for me.

or just end it myself.

xxxxxxx

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