Have Faith: Life and Times of a Glorious Asshole

A Warm Welcome to the Good Crew

The next morning, I woke as I usually did.

Having no fucking idea where I actually was.

I could hear someone yelling very loudly downstairs.
"Thomas! Stop it with the damn spatula! You CANNOT cook for SHIT!"
Eric. The grumpy guy.
"Eric!" Another man's voice cried. "I've been watching Top Chef! C'mon! I think I can handle this-" a shrill scream erupted. "OH MY GOD THAT IS FIRE!"
"No shit!" Eric's angry yell resonated around the house.

Oh, it was obvious where I was.

I sat up in the bed, still in yesterday's clothes as I cautiously walked towards the door, wiping a bit of droll off my chin.
"WATER! WATER! VANESSA GET THE WATER! OHHHHH MY GODDDDDD!" The man I presumed to be Thomas screeched.

I stopped at the top of the stairs, hearing a loud sizzling sound similar to that of water being poured on a shit ton of fire.
Wow.
Chaos.
A small grin spread on my face.
'I like it.'

I waked down the stairs and entered the kitchen, seeing a man wearing glasses running his hands through his hair anxiously. "That was my French toast!" He cried, his voice slightly shrill at the end.

And then, 'Bing!' went my gaydar.

Funny, I was expecting Mr. Grumpypants to be gay.

"Thomas," Eric sighed, (speak of the Devil, I know). "You are a mess."
"And you just fucked up my French toast!" Thomas shouted.
"I just saved us from having to deal with more of your failures!" Eric snapped.
"You are such a-"
I interrupted Thomas with a small round of applause.

"Now this is very interesting." I said. "Bravo. This has got to be one of the most amusing mornings I've ever experienced." I grinned.
"Don't get used to it." Eric muttered, shooting Thomas a glare.

Not that the boy noticed. He looked at me before letting out a loud laugh and running over. "So you're the thief?!" He cried. "But you're so-"

'Oh god.
Thomas.
Thomas I liked you.
Don't you dare say it.
Don't you fucking dare say it.' I thought, staring at him.

"-tiny!" He finished with a laugh, staring down at me.

And here is the awful truth about me.
I am incredibly short.
I stand about five feet tall and I weigh about 94 pounds.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
I am the size of a fucking oompa-loompa.

I could feel the blood rush to my face as I looked up at Thomas.
He let out a laugh. "You," he said. "You are adorable."

Oh, hell no.

I stood there, my eye twitching as the tall, lanky boy observed me. He lightly lifted up a strand of my blonde hair before making a comment about the freckles dusting my face, arms, and legs.

"Usually thighs and hips like yours are hot but just-" he gasped, looking down at my slightly larger thighs, which were only accented by my (unfortunately) smaller waist. "You make them so cute!"

I stared at him, watching the constant movement of his dimples upon his cheeks as he spoke rapidly before grabbing me and turning me to face Eric. "Can we keep her?!" He cried.

Eric sighed, nodding slowly. The boy who I guess to be around the age of 18 seemed to have the incredible ability to morph his face into that of a 40 year old. "Thomas, I already offered for her to stay. That would be her choice."
Someone snapped across the room and Eric turned to look at a girl I hadn't noticed before.

With dark brown hair and dark blue eyes similar to Eric's, the girl stood silently before making movements with her hands. I struggled to follow the movements, trying to sense some sort of pattern.
'What in the shit....?' I thought to myself as Eric nodded.
"Yes, Vanessa." He said. "Of course she's welcome to stay. I know it's weird for you to be the only girl in the house."

I rose a brow, still somehow not grasping how Eric had interpreted her hand movements.
If it's already obvious to you, I'd like to add a disclaimer that I am NOT a morning person.

The girl looked at me before waving and smiling brightly.
I rose a brow, waving back. I soon found myself unable to help but smile.

The way her face looked, the kindness and openness, it reminded me of-
My face went slack for just a brief moment as the image of a young blonde girl crossed my mind.
She was about ten, her hair a pale blonde, contrasting with her light brown eyes. She had a thin, small nose and a gap between her front teeth.

As quickly as the memory came, I pushed it away.
'I will NOT think about her.' I told myself, regaining my senses and grinning at the brunette, Vanessa.

Eric nodded. "I assume I should probably introduce everyone in this room." He sighed once more, as if he was dealing with the most irritating task in the world. "That moron," he pointed to Thomas. "Goes by the name Thomas." He said before gesturing to Vanessa. "And that is my sister, Vanessa." He said.
"She's mute." Thomas added quickly with a grin.

'Oh,' I thought. 'That makes a hell of a lot more sense.'

I nodded simply. "Sweet." I beamed. "Araya. Ace Araya." I introduced myself with a small bow.

I straightened back up and laughed as Thomas took a bow himself, being overly dramatic with it before looking back up and laughing.
Vanessa stood to the side, covering her mouth as her shoulders shook from silent laughter.

I observed the people in the room, taking them all in.

An overly dramatic, over-the-top boy, a friendly girl who wouldn't utter a word, and another boy who seemed to be able to turn form lines in his face that could rival those of Bernie Sanders' with just a simple frown.

A band of misfits.

I wasn't in the mood for company, but, something seemed to draw me to them.

Maybe, after all the bad I had done and participated in during my previous 16 years of life, I was finding myself being drawn towards the welcoming presence of good people.

But that doesn't mean I would ever be one of them.