Let's Start Again

Chapter Eleven: The Missing Half of My Heart

                                                                                       Hanji's POV

It had been three weeks since Hanji had left the base, and though nothing had changed, everything had.

Of course, her old job was waiting for her: the hospital had promised to keep it on hold for three months. However, when Hanji had returned to actually resume her job, everyone wanted to know why.

"Just couldn't cut it, huh, Hanji?"

"Was Levi repulsed by your BO? Ya' know ya' gotta' bathe more, Hanji."

"Why do you look so depressed?"

Hanji ignored all the questions as she put on her old lab coat, her mind overloaded with questions of her own.

Hanji's home was the same way she left it: papers everywhere and just generally a huge mess. As she, day by day, sorted through the tangible chaos, Hanji tried to deal with the chaos inside her head.

What I said was horrible, but Levi could've done more! I mean, he said he liked me, too, so why...?

"No" Hanji muttered to herself, "I was wrong. Levi and I weren't even in a relationship, and I had the nerve to call him 'spineless'!"

But to just stand there like a kid? Levi's 'Humanity's Strongest', and yet he can't even defend me!

Eventually, Hanji just gave up and fell face down into the papers, scattering them everywhere. Levi was going through a lot mentally, but why didn't he stand his ground or even leave with Hanji? Hanji went between defending Levi's actions and protesting them for about half an hour, and then just drifted off, a headache coming on.

When Hanji woke up, it was high noon. Thankfully, it was the weekend, so she didn't have anywhere to be, but she still scolded herself for wasting half the day.

"And I still have to clean!"

Hanji groaned as she ran her fingers through her hair and observed the mess that was her living room. She went to clear a corner when she heard footsteps on her front porch. Sluggishly, Hanji opened the front door and looked down. Like always, the afternoon mail had been dropped off, and it usually wasn't anything special, so Hanji grabbed the tiny stack and threw it over her shoulder, unconcerned. It wasn't until she turned around and saw the Wings of Freedom that her heart skipped a beat.

Official mail from the Survey Corps, she thought, but why would they message me?

As her fingers pried the envelope open, Hanji could only hope that Commander Erwin had changed his mind. Maybe she could be Levi's doctor again! Or maybe, if that was too intimate, Erwin would at least let her reenlist as a cadet. She wouldn't be able to get near Levi, but at least she could keep an eye on him from afar.

Turns out, though, the letter Hanji had received was from Cadet Moblit, not Commander Erwin. Disappointed, Hanji read:

To Dr. Hanji Zoe,

Forgive me for intruding on your everyday routine, but I felt you would want to know this.

Two days after you were discharged from the Survey Corps, Commander Erwin was alerted that there may be budget cuts to our military division due to a lack of positive results from all our expeditions. There's going to be a ball in Wall Sina on July 15th that Commander Erwin and Captain Levi will be attending so that they can generate more funds. I want you to come, too.