A Year With Williams

Chapter 2

DAY 15

Right now I am walking to the class.

The past two weeks have been okay-ish.

I sang 'You Belong With Me' in class with Katie.

Everyone liked it. Almost everyone gave us compliments.

I also met a girl, from Sweden. She is such a sweetheart.

Teachers love me. I am the kind of person who would be called a teacher's pet, so yeah, nothing new.

Now I don't mean to brag or anything, or show that I am mightier than others, but I'm intelligent, even if it is in a few areas.

I'm good in Science, my math is okay-ish and I hate history with a burning passion.

My old school kind of required a lot of studying.

So well, I am well known for knowing the answers in class.

Some might be a little jealous, not that I'm complaining.

People have being telling me about a certain girl I can't wait to meet.

Everyone tells me we have a LOT of things in common and might turn out to be great friends. Her name is Megan. She, like me, is a John Mayer fan, likes the blues, likes Taylor Swift, is interested in psychology and loves to read. She sounds nice and is coming to school today.

I made two more friends-Bob and Sid. Both are boys. Sid is such a sweetheart; he is a nice guy, a proper gentleman and a proper brotherly figure, but I didn't get to know a lot about Bob.

And I kind of met a girl, but she is an attention seeker. So it's a no. We do kind of talk, but she is like, overly depressed. She is the kind of person who wants to be seen. She cuts herself and writes depressing things on her desk.

You would say that she cuts so I should be more considerate. I honestly know, having gone though the  'let's cut wrists because I am worthless' stage. I know how it feels and what is the only thing we seek. It's death or some kind of relief from the pain inside.

But I made sure no one ever knew. I didn't want anyone to know. I wasn't weak but I wasn't too strong either. I never wanted sympathy. I still don't. I hate it.

I had a fucked up mind and a fucked up heart.

And one day I.... okay that's a long story and this is not a time for flashback.

She, on the other hand, shows it to everyone.

It's a bit scary honestly.

And you know what the problem with me is?

I don't know how to say 'no' politely.
And I care alot about feelings. So basically I am friendzoned and she is all , "You're my best friend." And I am like, the hell no.

But sympathy always make its way up to my heart and those tears were just too much. My heart melts and I give in. I wanted to tell her what she is doing is a little... psychotic.

But then I don't want her to actually become depressed. Trust me, psychotic is way better than depressed and if it saves a life, then what's the big deal?

I am kind to say that... you know... she needs help... I guess?

So needless to say Katie and I are stuck.

And I know I am being judged for that.

People have told me why I got paired up with that Max guy.

His ex (who had left the school) and I were eerily similar.

But who could like him? All I can see is that he is a jerk and everyone tells me he is rude, obnoxious, mean and not a good person.

In simple words, I don't like this guy, already. Give it to him to annoy me and take me to the highest peek of being angry and then bring me down to self-pity and the feeling of helplessness and then make me feel atleast a little better by being 'considerate' enough.

There is another guy I met. He is a kind of nerd, if that may even be the correct term. With big round glasses, trimmed black oiled hair, dark complexion and black eyes. He is like 5 feet tall. He's shorter than me. I am 5'2.

I met him like right now. I mean as soon as I reached the class.

He has a British accent which isn't difficult to catch.

Now wait, pause. I love that accent. The guy may not be good looking but that accent makes me drool.

His name is Eddy.

Katie and I have been getting together well. She doesn't believe in the concept of 'best friends'. Someone has had a bad experience.

Right now I am excited to meet THAT girl.

"Hey, I am Emmy. I have heard a lot about you." I see a girl coming and figure out it's Megan from the way everyone described her.

Extremely curly brown locks with extremely Vicky cobalt eyes and extremely fair skin.

She eyes me and walks past.

Okay well that was very rude.

What the hell?

What the ...

Wow. I feel so welcomed. I feel so fucking blessed. (Note the sarcasm)

I hear a little bit of snickering and turn around to see Max.

That asshole.

I glare at him and walk past. I really don't get it. What did I ever do to him or her?

That's exactly how my days go.

Everyone makes sure that I don't feel like I belong here. I am so lonely sometimes, and that depressed girl gives me a headache. I mean she is not depressed. She just cuts her wrist and shows it to people saying

"That's what you do to me"

Or

"You know I cut my wrist?"

As far as I know, depressed people don't go showing it off.

It's just aghhh.

That 10 CGPA (4.0 GPA) girl hates me because (she thinks) I am as intelligent as she and I can sing.

I really want to be accepted. I want everyone to know I am actually not a very bad person.

How?

I don't know....

The days go like me doodling the whole day, missing people. missing the one I used to love , missing everyone.

And my heart just loves to miss him. My mind is tired of convincing my heart but it just never listens.

I need to start anew and not think about him.

At the same time I have to deal with the whole class, especially Max and Meghan.

Notice the M and M . Even their intitials match!

Their names sound like they are sent by the Satan himself to make my new life a living hell.

The evil twins.

I sometimes want to cry and then sometimes I want to bitch- slap them, or probably write 'your words' on a paper and wrap it on a stone and throw on them, hard. Maybe then they'll know how much their words hurt.

I am over with the self pity but I guess I just want everyone to like me.

That probably sounds weird. But it's my new life. I want to be the one to write it.

It's okay. Only one year Emmy, it can't be that bad.

(edited)