Making an Irresistible Mistake on Purpose

Live nice, Niall.

Niall’s P.O.V.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I stared up at the night sky. It’d been atleast 2 hours since I put Amber to bed. What she said was so right. And it’s been haunting on me for the past month. Which, yes, makes it a week before Amber’s accident.  The week where for 7 days, 7 of the most important people here said something like Amber said to me. Whether it was blunt or not, it was said. And now that Amber really confronted me about it, it really dawned on me. I needed to change. My reasoning doesn’t matter anymore. The person I changed for didn’t need me to. My change was worthless. It didn’t do anything but pull me further away from the people I love.

“What am I doing?” I raised my head towards the night sky and whispered to the stars.

“This isn’t me. I’ve been a fake person for two years now. No, actually, not fake. It’s become so bad, this is the person I am. I don’t even know how to act normal again. What is wrong with me? ” I growled at myself and put my head in my hands.

“I’ve been asking myself the same question about you for a while now.”

“Liam.” I rose from the porch steps and turned to see my best friend.

“Hi Niall.”

“How much did you hear?” I ran my hand through my hair.

“Ever since you started talking to yourself.” Liam walked closer to me and I could make out more features in the dark.

“I wasn’t talking to myself.” I clenched my teeth.

“Right there. You hear that?” Liam pointed. I looked around to see what he talking about.

“No, Niall. Its you. You see how defensive you got? You weren’t like that. You weren’t like that until you heard from your Mom back in Ireland.”

I loosen my jaw and nodded, looking down at Liam’s feet. It took everything inside of me to listen and not speak.

“You have to see it, Ni. You’re hurting people by your actions. Even if you’re immune to it, people all around you are getting hurt. Not just physically at school. Like my sister for example.”

 I looked up at Liam when he brought up Amber.

“I probably shouldn’t say this, and I’m definitely not saying I approve, but I think she’s starting to like you again. And I know how you feel about her. If you care about her at all, you’ll change. She hates how you treat her at school. You treat her like she’s nothing. You treat her like…well, that’s another story. But point is, you need to change. Its time for you to. You understand? We want the old Niall. We all do.” Liam stepped closer to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. Without meaning to, tears pricked my eyes. I pulled Liam closer to me for a hug.

“I’m sorry if I was mean. But I just want you back. No more bad Niall.”

I nodded.

“No more bad Niall.” I repeated.

Liam smiled at me and left me alone.

“No more bad Niall.” I repeated to myself over and over as I looked at the stars.

“I can do that.”

I walked back into the house and locked the door. I closed the curtains and walked around the house thinking.

“Whatcha up to?” I nearly fell off the couch from where I was standing. I turned and saw a very adorable looking Amber rubbing her eyes.

“I was outside thinking and talking to myself.” I said quickly. Be nice be nice. Be different. Its time to change. Nice Niall. I told myself.