twisted → j.m.

Chapter 37

Anna's P.O.V

At lunch, I tried to swallow my anxiety down with my food. From this afternoon, at what Eric had said, my mind has been constantly pondering over the new mystery.

I was distracted after we finished lunch, I was distracted through out the movie that Jason and I watched while cuddling and I was distracted while Jason kissed me before bed.

All I could think about was Eric. And the possibly horrible thing he was planning. I knew it was stupid to worry about this, I might as well forget about it for all I know this could be nothing.

But then maybe it wasn't just nothing.

I had just blossomed a new stage of my life with Jason, and now that I had found my new happiness, I had a strong urge to protect it. I knew I could do little alone, but that didn't stop the urge.

A new fear tried to bug me this time. Not the type like I felt when Jason took me, this was different. And my heart beat faster when I realised I feared losing Jason. That was it.

I sighed tossing over in the bed, unable to fall asleep. The seed of fear in my mind preventing me from going into a slumber. I could hear Jason's steady breathing beside me on the bed. Clearly, he was fast asleep.

Moonlight poured into our large bedroom as usual, and I turned over, looking up at Jason's sleeping face. I could help, but smile softly at the sight. He was so perfect. Having him right here, loving him, and knowing that I was his was enough to calm my mind. I let my eyes rest on his peaceful face for a few minutes, drinking in the beautiful sight as my heart thumped for no particular reason in my chest.

Jason has been so supportive and caring. After lunch today, he had noticed there was something wrong with me, and he had repeatedly asked me if I could tell him what was bothering me.

But I couldn't bring myself to take Jason's happiness, the new glow in his face depended on me. I was the one who had put it there, and I didn't want to take it away as soon as it had come.

My head told me to tell Jason about over hearing Eric, but I didn't. I didn't want to worry him. I didn't want him feeling the same anxiousness I was feeling.

So, I had bit down my tongue but Jason was not a fool by any means. He knew there was still something wrong, I could feel it, but he never pushed me to tell him. It just made me love him more.

I shut my eyes, trying again for sleep, but the bed was to warm. I sighed getting up and softly padding across the room as not to walk Jason to get a glass of water.

I chugged down the cold water, and then I tiptoed over to the small balcony attached to our bedroom. I cautiously unlocked the bolt and stepped outside.

The breeze was cool on my clammy skin, and I sighed walking over to the small sofa there and sitting down. I looked out at the ocean at a distance, glistening in the moonlight, just like always. Up in the night sky, the stars were twinkling, and I watched them, fascinated.

"Not able to sleep sweatheart?" The voice behind me asked, gentle. I smiled turning around to face Jason.

"Yeah...I was just to hot in the bed, I needed some air." I explained. Jason's hair was tousled and his eyes were bring, just having been woken up.

"Well...let me keep you company." Jason walked over to the sofa and sat down. He easily lifted me to a lying position beside him, and I giggled my worry and stress slowly fading away.

I rested my head on Jason's arm and he grinned down at me. "Are you okay?" Jason asked, a painful look momentarily filling his eyes.

"Yes of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, trying to sound sceptical. "You just...seem a bit...distant." Jason sighed.

I looked down, feeling a little guilty. "You dont regret loving me or anything like that right?" Jason blurted out, his tone painful.

I gasped, automatically reaching up to kiss him to erase the wrong impression I had given him. I could have kicked myself for giving such bad signals.

Our lips more in a sync like today after noon, and with each passing moment my heart swells with more love for him, something I thought was impossible.

I finally pulled away from him, and still keeping my lips barely in contact with his, I looked into his eyes, "No. I dont regret anything. I love you." I say, watching a amused and a happy smile lit up Jason's face.

I fall back down in my position on the sofa, breathless and blushing. "There has just been a lot on my mind lately." I say, slightly biting my lip at my stupid excuse.

Jason just nods his head in an understanding manner. "No matter what happens Anna, no matter how far we are from each other, no matter whoever tries to harm us, always remember, my love for you will never die." Jason says, a hint of determination in his tone.

I smile, "I know." Jason's fingers stroke rub soothing circles on my hand, and just like that all my worry fades away. I know I am safe. I know nothing can harm me.

Maybe what Eric was planning was nothing after all. I smile at the satisfactory thought.

"Why did you love me Anna?" Jason asks suddenly, talking me my surprise. Confused I answer, "Didn't you always want me to?"

Jason shakes his head, "No not that. You dont just love me because I wanted you to. You have a lot of reasons to fall for me, I am sure. I am just wondering, a man like me. A dark man. A twisted man. I don't really deserve your love Anna."

There is a lump in my throat, but I find my words. I point at the stars in the sky, "See those?" I ask softly. I watch his nod from the corner of my eyes.

"Stars always fascinated me, so I have learned a lot about them. Did you know that all these starts that you see shining here are black?" I ask Jason.

Jason laughs despite himself, "Black?" he repeats after me.

I nod, seriously, "Yeah all stars are black. I am not really sure why, but some kind of weird metal is pulled my a strong gravitational force though out the galaxy to the stars covering it in a black layer. But underneath it all the star is still bright, still shining." I smile up at Jason.

"My love for you is something like that Jason." I struggle to really explain it, "I am pulled to you. You are like a magnet to me. I see your real surface. To me, you are shining under your 'twisted' self. To me, you are perfect. Flawless. Beautiful."

I reach for his lips once again, and once I find them I mutter against them, "To me you are my shining star."