Last night we argued
you said I never listen
I said ‘whatever’
I turned and walked to the window, you walked to the door and left
when you left I died inside
I thought back to the week before
we was arguing you said ‘I’m gone
as you opened the door I screamed in annoyance because it was just like you to walk out and leave your problems behind
I said ‘when you walk out that door never comeback’
you closed the door and walked towards me and held me in your arms until we was tired
the day after you walked out
when I wokeup this morning
your side of the bed was empty
your stuff was gone
your photo’s of us still on your bedside table but the rest were gone
I knew then you wasn’t coming back
weeks after you left
you was still not back
your mum told me you have a girlfriend now
I cried when I heard that because you always said that no matter what happened you’d always come back to me
I guess you lied
you told me you was gay
but you lied about that too
I bet all the time we was together you was using me
on a night I think of all the times we talked and you told me all your secrets but now I know that I never truly knew you
its been months since I last saw you
will you ever come back to me
cant remember what you look like anymore or your smell
I miss you
all I know now is that I still love you
do you still love me too
3 years have passed since I last saw you
I googled your name the other day
I saw that you got another tattoo
I saw the rest of the boys yesterday they said since I left all you do is cry
they also said that you and your girlfriend broke up because you wouldn’t let me go
they also said you listen to ‘don’t let me go’ a lot these days
I really don’t get you
your the one who left me
anyway I went to the doctor’s yesterday
they said I’m dying
I guess I’ll never see you again
it’s been 3 months since I was diagnosed with cancer
well i saw niall, liam and zayn today but you wasn’t there but i don’t get why
i guess we was never meant to be
like someone once told me if you don’t let him go your gonna die alone
and i guess that’s what’s going to happen because no matter what happens i cant let you go not yet
maybe i’ll see you on the other side
the day you came to see me
you finally came too see me today
you said you loved me and begged me for a second chance and i gave it to you
now i have you back i don’t want to go but i know that when i fall asleep tonight it will be the last time i see you smile at me
the letter i wrote for you before i died
hi Louis
i wrote this to let you know that I never stopped loving you and I hope you know that.
when you walked out 3 and a half years ago I felt my world fall apart but now I know why you walked out its because all we ever did was argue and you left so I wouldn’t hurt no more but what you didn’t realise is that when you left I cried myself to sleep every single day because you wasn’t laid in the bed next to me.
i used to think you was selfish for leaving me but now i realise all this tme i wasn’t in love with you i just thought i was bcause i couldn’t let go of the memories we had or that’s what i keep telling myself because i know that i will never love anyone else ever again so please don’t give up after im gone because you’ll end up like me and i don’t want that.
i cant belive that we was dating for 5 years in secret because you and management didn’t want it to get in the way of your career maybe that was for the best now because I know that if your career is more important than our relationship then maybe we should have gone our separate ways before now.
even though I know I said all that I still wish that you would come back to me but I know that will never happen because you’ve moved on and your happy now but I can still wish.
anyway I have to go now Lou I’ve got chemo this morning so maybe i’ll write to you again.
love from your Hazza bear xxx
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