How To Overcome Anxiety

Step 2. Keep Your Chill

Just as I thought, just as it's always been.

I'm invisible.

Not that I'm complaining really. But I should be. If I want to overcome this. I should care. I should try.

It's lunch now and I've managed to make it through the entire half of the day without wanting to pack my bags, get on a rocket and fly into the sun.

It's going well.

Teachers knew by now not to bother asking me questions. The most they got was a quiet "here" for the register.

I unpack my lunch box from my bag, because well, the dinner ladies don't seem very friendly to talk to, and I sit at my usual table. Alone.

I think this is the saddest bit really. With so many around me and yet, I am lonely.

Lonely, lonely, lonely.

I need to make friends. I've been here nearly four years and I don't have a friend to show for it. Well, I have an acquaintance sort of, he's a bit weird though. Not that I can say anything. No wonder my mum wanted to send me to therapy. But then again, she thought I was 'just shy'.

I did have a friend to start with though, I haven't always been this bad.

Her name was Melanie, and she was one of my bestest friends from the first time we met at the start of highschool.

But then something happened. Not dramatically drastic, or anything over the top like you might think, not at that moment in time anyway. I just changed over the months since it happened.

I pushed Melanie away. So far away that we haven't even looked at eachother in two years.

I glimpse at her across the room now, she's with her friends. They sit, huddled together on a table, giggling and talking to one another. If only it could be that easy.

I convinced myself she hated me. That was completely ridiculous of course, out of nowhere really. But soon enough, she actually did.

Maybe if I tried to fix things...

I had a surge of, I wouldn't say confidence, but, a rustle inside of me that told me to make things right. To apologise. Even if she didn't forgive me... but maybe she didn't even think about me... No, stop it. You can do this.

Just keep your chill.