How To Overcome Anxiety

Step 7. Say Yes

"Come out." She commanded softly, I shook my head, not that she could see. "Please?"

I took a breath. A second to compose myself. A moment to be brave.

I unlocked the door. Hesitantly. I'm looking at the ground. Not daring to lift my head up.

I emerge, and almost instantly Melanie asks, "What the hell was that?" I suppose she has the right to be angry at me. "You don't say anything to me for two years and out of nowhere you say sorry?" I look up. "What the hell?" She doesn't look at me with fury, more confusion. Her bright orange her is curled perfectly around her face. When I don't answer she moves her head in a way to suggest she's waiting for me to say something.

"I'm - I'm sorry." I mumble, looking back down. Man, this is harder than I thought. Try, Paisley. Try.

Before I can start to explain myself, Melanie unexpectedly wraps her arms around me. I can't deny I was shocked. I didn't think she'd be so sympathetic.

"What happened to you?" She whispers to my hair.

I shrug, sadly, because I honestly don't know. I just became this. Well, maybe there was more to it than that. I just didn't want to let the thoughts resurface after years of denying it.

"Why did we have to grow apart?" She asks, I shrug again. "I've missed you, ya know?" I didn't know. I thought she hated me. She's probably just lying to make me feel better. No, Melanie wouldn't do that.

She releases me from the hug, tears are glistening in my eyes, but I hold them back. "I missed you too."

The amount of effort it took to say that, wow.

She smiles, her perfect small smile, all white toothed. "Look," she starts, "I know we haven't spoken in forever. But I'd really like to change that. It's nearly the end of highschool for goodness sake! I just wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't sort things with you." I smile too now, "You want that too right?"

I nod my head almost too quickly. I needed to think. This is my chance to get out of this freak state I'm in and be normal for once. But what if... no stop it Paisley. Don't start overthinking.

"Good." She nods too, the situation is becoming a little awkward. Speak Paisley. Think of something to say. Anything.

"How've you been?" My words are rushed, but it's better than nothing.

Before she gets the chance to reply, the door opens once more.

It's Britt, her black ringlets bouncing as she strides. There's something about her dark, brutal eyes that leads me to believe she's not here for a kiss and make up reunion. Not that I've ever really spoken to her anyway.

She smiles. Not the sincere kind like Melanie's.

"Hey Mel," When I was friends with her, she hated that nickname. I didn't know what to make of it. "I was wondering where you got to."

Melanie gives a grin back to her friend, "You know Paisley, right?"

Britt casts her eyes over me, not really looking, just acknowledging my existence. "Yeah, Saffron's sister right? I didn't know you two were friends anymore." What she says cuts deeply into me but before either of us can reply, Britt asks, "So Paisley," Now looking directly at me, "What's it like cutting out the one person from your life that actually cares about you?" Her voice is hard, Melanie glares at her, almost looking outraged - well the most outraged she could get, Melanie wasn't the angry type really.

"I, urm -" My palms are getting sweaty. This is getting too much.

"Oh quit it, Britt." Melanie nudges her, looking away from me. "I can't believe you just said that."

"I'm only looking out for you Mel, jeez." Britt turns back to me. "So what? You think you can say sorry and everything will be hunky dory?"

"No... I-" I don't know what to say. Surprise, surprise.

Speak. Stick up for yourself.

Melanie seems appalled by her friend's attitude, maybe she's just shocked she has the confidence to say something like that. I'm in awe.

"I'm not apologising to you. I'm apologising to Melanie. Thi- This has nothing do to with you." Fuck. I stuttered and got my words mixed up.

"You don't need to apologise." Melanie quickly announced. Britt had a look of bewilderment plastered on her face towards Melanie.

Rolling her eyes, she raised her hands, "Fine Mel, but you're wasting your time." She paused. "She's a lost cause." Then she left, her long dark legs strutting out the way a fashion model would.

Melanie looked as though she wanted to follow her, but then decided against it.

"I want to get to know you again." Her voice came out louder than she'd expected. "I mean," She took a moment, "You were my best friend, the best I've ever had Pais," Her eyes closed for a moment. "Can you forgive me for not trying hard enough to help you?" Her perfect, bright green irises now bore into my own murky blue ones.

And although I knew she wasn't the one who should apologise, I answered with the simplest of words. Not wishing to stumble again.

"Yes."