How To Overcome Anxiety

Step 15. Go Out With Friends

I'm in the city now, sitting on a bench near the bus station, waiting for them to arrive.

We had split up after school to go home and get changed, I decide to wear my skinny jeans, a blouse and my favourite beige cardigan.

I hope I look okay.

I look at my phone, 16:22.

They should be here by now...

I look at my phone again, no new messages.

I bite my lip, trying to not draw attention to myself from the passersby, no one sees me anyway. Subconsciously, my fingers start tapping against my kness.

I wait. For a whole hour I wait. Sat there in the chilly breeze, waiting for 'friends' that were obviously not going to show.

Oh Paisley, what did you expect?

My mind takes a while to react to this situation, at first I am neither angry nor disappointed - but then it hits. And I want to cry.

The lump forming in my throat is swallowed down, I don't want to look a mess in public.

Breathe.

I look at my surroundings. On a bench nearby sits an old man wearing a flatcap, reading his newspaper with his walking stick resting to his left. A few people walk about and plenty of cars pass by. I'm too far away from home. I never should have come. I never should have tried to be anything but the way I am.

My phone starts buzzing, waking me from my thoughts and causing the upcoming tears to be put to rest.

On the caller ID it shows it's Melanie.

I answer, partly because I'm too polite to reject a call - even if it is the most nerve-racking thing ever.

"Paisley! Please don't hang up! I am soooo sorry, Britt forgot her phone and we had to go back to get it," She was talking fast, almost babbling "And we missed the bus but now we're on the next one there and I promise we'll be there in like ten minutes! I am so sorry we made you wait, Pais."

She pauses for a moment but then I realise it's my turn to talk and I'm not sure what to say.

Don't be! You made me wait for a whole fricking hour! Do you not know how embarrassing that is for me? What, was it too difficult for you to call to let me know sooner? Is this just some stupid game to you where you can pretend to be my friend and then ditch me to make me look the fool!

Of course I don't say this.

"It-it's fine."

She sighs, with relief I think, "Good, we'll be there soon. I promise." Melanie hangs up.

It was probably an accident that Britt forgot her phone, it's not there fault they missed the bus.

I wish I wasn't so passive.

***

"Paisley!" I look to my left to see Melanie and Britt rushing my way, well just Melanie, Britt looks like she wants to get hit by a truck.

I stand up. "Hey..." I smile awkwardly. Melanie rushes to give me a hug, wrapping her perfectly skinny arms around me.

"Can we get food?" Britt asks and Melanie releases me. Britt's black hair is tamed into a bun on the top of her head and with her wearing a tight miniskirt and flashy top, I feel slightly under-dressed. On the other hand, Melanie's bright hair is in a ponytail and her leggings and trainers make her look as though she's off to the gym.

"I vote Maccy D's!" Melanie exclaims cheerfully. I wouldn't be surprised if she started jumping up and down. Britt shruggs in agreement.