How To Overcome Anxiety

Step 5. Don't Cry

I ran straight into the toilets.

There were a few girls at the mirror doing their make-up, but they didn't even register my existence as I locked the cubicle door behind me.

I was so fucked up. I can't believe I did that. After two years of nothing. I wanted to cry. I couldn't even decide if it was because I made such a fool of myself, or because I was happy I actually spoke.

Nope, it was deffo the first option.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Breathe. Breathe. Don't fucking cry.

It would ruin your eyeliner.

And damn you worked hard on that this morning. This morning when you said you'd overcome whatever the hell was wrong with you. So much for that. What a great frickin start Paisely.
The way I said my name in my head was laced with so much poison.

I hated myself.

I leaned back against the wall, breathing and trying to keep calm.

I heard the girls in the toilets whispering. One laughed. I assumed it was about me. Just the way everything obviously is because the world revolves around you Paisley, doesn't it?

I shook my head. Trying to stop my thoughts from making me cry. I had plenty of time to cry in bed, at home, by myself. There was no need to draw more attention to myself.

Their shoes clicked as they headed out the door.

I let out a long sigh.

A few moments passed until I heard the door open and someone else walked in.

Just one person this time.

I heard their shoes.

"Pais?"

My heart stopped.