What happened to my dad?

Nic The Needle Dick

Nic is the most outstanding King ever. If I could fuck any king in history, it would be him. He has a great ass. Nic started out as a tax collector and I always dumped shit on him every time he came to my house. That might explain why he outlawed doing that as soon as he became king (he made it legal again after I showed him how fun it was). We have been through a lot. a lot of uprisings, a couple genocides, but hey, its all water under the bridge. We always used to mine a lot, but in a way that made people hate us, but we kept doing it. After awhile we stopped because it got really fucking boring. One time we fucked a pig for 12 days straight and he lasted longer than me, but only by 5 minutes. He lived through my cringe years, I lived through his. We have raided many villages together and will probably raid a lot more. We have fucked many bitches with his six ft. dick, like he could stick it in their ass, and it would come out their mouth. shit is lit son. Like putting a 40 ft. hose in their ass and spraying the water. but sometimes we'd get STDs and would have to chop off a couple inches (we also give each other circumcisions). We also really enjoy fucking birds. none of the birds survive, so I keep them in a trash can. Yeah Nic is my fave.  A lot of the time when there is a school shooting he takes us out for ice cream. No matter how much you deny it Nic is the best king ever.