Jodha's Diary

Jodha's Diary : Part 9

Hi Diary,

So finally the most dreaded day of my life is over. I mean my wedding day , of course! Anyway, I'm expecting the rest of my days to be even worse, but at least I'm aware of it! We have still not reached Agra, and it already feeling like hell.

Obviously, I denied. Maham Anga Ji had a shocked kinda look first, and then slowly a light grin appeared on her face. I was a bit surprised with her reaction first. But then I realized that it's probably a khaandaani trait to keep smirking like that. And frankly speaking, that Jallad looks better with a smirk than this lady!

Ufff...why do I keep analyzing the smirks of people? This is a crazy habit I've got coz of that Jallad!

So as expected, he did come to see me after this. Don't know why, but there's a kind of creepy feeling that surrounds me every time he's near. The same happened today. I could feel the chill of his presence.

My hand instantly went to the handle of the dagger under my pillow. I had to...God knows what he had been planning to do!

As soon as I felt his touch on the bed, I turned to his side and pointed my dagger towards him. Unfortunately, he had already stopped the attack, and held the dagger in his hands.

He glared at me once, and threw the dagger down. The look on his face was real scary, diary.

And then he came closer and almost leaned on me. Uff...there is seriously nothing more disgusting than this! And then he started in his chilly tone on how I had disobeyed him my husband and all rubbish. And just see diary, this man is talking of the scared vows of marriage. I mean wow! Does he really know the meaning of marriage? Huh! And telling me!

Finally...It was my turn to speak. As I told him that I remember he's my husband...( god knows why ), that disgusting smirk of his returned. And trust me, it looks four times disgusting from that close. Trying hard to keep attention away from the grin, I told him that no religion in this world allows a husband to insult his wife like this. And that Jallad was all laughing after hearing my take. Why not? This is all fun for him. I wish I could enjoy all this as much as he is!

And then he said that e wants this fear in my eyes for him to remain forever. I really wanted to just push him away and tell him...It's not fear you Jallad..it's pure disgust for you. But then I realized something. He is right. I do fear him...not him perhaps, but his actions. He's much powerful than me. God knows what all he can do to me, my family, my people, anyone. Yes...I do have fear in my eyes. Fear of my own destiny...fear what next it has planned for me. But then, it already so bad...can it get worse?

Suddenly he got, and rubbed his wound with the soil there. His smirk had lessened a bit, but not the disgust associated with it. And before leaving he said that I won't need a dagger for my safety now. Coz he was there to save me from all, but there was NONE to save me from HIM.

This was the limit, diary. I haven't hated any person so much in my life. How can someone perhaps be so evil? Well... I can see one myself.

At this moment, I wanted to tell him that I CAN save myself. Jodha can save herself from disgusting Jallads like you. But wait...I know I can save myself, but what about the rest? I can save me, but he perhaps knows how to hurt me without actually harming me. I have a lot of weakness, to be honest. Every action of mine has my family at stake.

Finally, with one last stare, he left. Okay, so this was perhaps a small preview of what is to come in Agra.

...

It was time for the Shehenshah's breakfast the next day. And according to Maham Anga Ji, their "rituals" said that I had to sit beside that Jallad. I brought no expression to my face, and simply sat beside him.