I Will Always Love You Weirdo : A Jeca Fanfic

Chapter 25: Her Past

Flashback- A few months before Beca started Barden.

Beca's POV :

Seriously, the sound of my music on full blast cannot even cover the sound of my parents arguing. I'm in my room, lying on my bed, trying to drown out the angry wolves down stairs (there not wolves, but by how vicious they sound, they may as well be) by listening to music. My play list switches to a calm song, one that I used to go to sleep to, but I can barely hear it. My parents verbally abusing each other is so loud their voices replace the lyrics, making a lullaby into a song from your nightmares, delete that song. I try and close my eyes, maybe I can sleep through this.

No one's POV :

The lights were off in Beca's room, just how she liked it, the darkness hides the bright, happy room it once was. Beca wasn't always this 'alternative',closed off girl, no, she was a 'normal' teenager, who had loads of friends who were girls, tried to impress the boys, dress 'girly' and smile alot, but that all stopped ever since her parents started arguing. She thought that they just had a disagreement, but it never ended and only got worse, like a forest fire, it only gets bigger and hurts the people around it. Beca realised that her parents no longer loved each other, their love was like smoke and fire.

Beca's mom and dad were to busy caring about who's wrong and who's right, then to care what Beca wanted, all Beca's music equipment, all her clothes, everything was bought by her, it's like her parents didn't care about her anymore, well her mom anyway.

Beca loved her dad, and even in these hard times, her dad still managed to make a bit of time for her, every night, after every argument, he would make sure Beca was alright, obviously she wasn't but, it was the thought that counted. Her mom (Sarah) on the other hand, just sulked and cried and decided that Beca was now invisible to her, she let her problems get in the way of what was really important, her daughter.

Beca just ignored her mom like she didn't exist, which sounds like an awful thing to do, but when the people you live fall apart, the best thing to do is shut everyone out.

Beca's POV :

YOU'RE A LYING BITCH AND I WISH THAT I NEVER MARRIED YOU!

FINE THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME AND BECA!

AT LEAST I WOULDN'T NEGLECT HER LIKE YOU!

LEAVE! LEAVE NOW!

I was listening shouting to each other, at first it was just normal, but then the things they said where horrible, so loud that my music wasn't loud enough, so hurtful that it broke away a piece of my heart.

Suddenly I hear a loud crash. I through my headphones off my head onto my bed, I'm pissed but I'm also scared, they've never taken it this far. I go to the stairs and look down to the hall to see a broken lamp besides my dad. Tears form in my eyes, I try to strain them back but not even the thickest of eyeliner could not hold back all the tears I have stocked up, u can't help but let a few trickle down my cheek.

The blank, emotionless expression swept over me face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise behind my eyes. Like a caged animal. Paralyzed by the tragic feeling of isolation, I close my eyes and gazed into fields of nothingness. I feel the water creep out of my eyes. I pier through the stair banister like I'm behind jail bars, almost like I've done something wrong, that's what it feels like anyway. I don't want to watch, I don't want to listen but there's something stopping me. I curl up with my knees to my chest, hugging them like a teddy bear to get me though this. This is torture I can't bare this, why am I watching this? More tears seem to seep through, I keep wiping them away making my makeup smear on my face, I probably look like a clown, with a puffy face.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER, I'M LEAVING!" my dad shouts, the words I really didn't want to leave his mouth. I feel like my heart has disappeared, you know that feeling when you think a celebrity noticed you and your heart feels like it sunk to your stomach, well that feeling only 100 times worst, like your idol notices you (these were the thing Beca used to think about, normal fan girl things, she was 'relatable'). Tears cascade down my face one after the other. What!? Why?!

My dad looks me in the eye, he gives me a sorrowful look, he can see my pain and I can see his. I shake my head at him as more tears fall, signalling to him not to go. He simply just turns alway and walks out of the door...

Wwhat? Don't leave! I dont say these things out loud, I can't talk, I physically can't say anything, like if spoke, I might actually choke on my tears. The heart stops for a second, but it feels like an hour, I can't do anything, I feel the need to panic, help, what's happening? I can't move. Frozen. Helpless. Tortured.....

Aaaahhhhhhh!!! I snap back into reality, that was not a pleasant experience, I've never felt something like that ever. Wait, Dad. I run down the stairs *sniff* and swing the door open. As the the door slams against the wall, the sound of an engine echos in my ears, I run outside. I run after my dad's car , as fast as my little legs can take. Tears slide off my face and also distort my vision, it's almost impossible to see.

The sight of my dad's grey audi riding off down the road makes me realise that I've lost my dad.

I give up, this is not worth it, I can't fix this, he's gone, he's abandoned me, the man who said he would always be by my side and will always protect me, left. He said he wouldn't let anyone hurt me, he hurt me. There's no physical wounds, just mental wounds, permanent wounds that will stick with me forever.

I remove my hair from my face i feel my chest start to hurt. I break down in the middle of the street, I don't care about anything any more, why should I, the two people I loved the most gave up and left me (her mom ignored her, same thing). I cry. I simply cry and cry.

I get up and walk to house. The moment when my dad walked out of the door, correction, when my dad walked out of my life replays in my mind like it's stuck on repeat, building up this anger inside, all my pain has been replaced with anger. I walk into my house and into the kitchen to see my mom sitting at the dinning table staring into space and I crack.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! HOW DARE YOU MAKE DAD LEAVE," I slam my hands on the table like I'm interrogating her. "HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?! HOW?!" She doesn't say anything. "SAY SOMETHING!!" I clench my fist and slam them on the table again and walk away from the table and walk around her. I push my hands through my hair in frustration."So your just gonna ignore me, your just gonna pretend I don't exist?" I calm down my tone in an attempt to try and make the situation better (not working) "What kind of mom neglects their daughter, how can you do this to me," she just sat there. "Fine then, congratulations Sarah you no longer have a daughter anymore," I walk to my room. I manage to hold back my tears until I got to my room.

I throw myself on my bed and cry myself to sleep.

No one's POV :

Beca started to dress in dark clothes and black makeup to hide her happiness, because there was none left, no smile, no laughter, no trust in anything anymore. Music was the only thing that could make the corners of her mouth turn up (only slightly). Beca didn't believe in love anymore, the reason why Beca's walls were so high, the reason why Jesse had to try so hard to get her to fall for him, was because of her parents. Beca became very depressed, the rest of high school was so hard for Beca, she blurred most of it out, let's just say she was an outcast and alone. Beca has three spots (tatoos) on her right arm, well they stand for the three times she 'gave up on life' (she should probably add another one). If it wasn't for music, the Bellas and jesse, she wouldn't be here.

Flashback finished

A/n:
Sorry I haven't updated in a while, this chapter was hard to come up with, sorry it was really depressing at least you got an insight of Beca's past. It's not that good but I'm running out of inspiration. Hope you liked it xx