farfalla

I.

"Mia!" My eyes shot open upon hearing a gunshot in my ears. It rang out in my ears while I frantically searched for a body to hold me. My breathing was rapid and quick, my chest moving up and down quicker then I could control. Sweat was beading over my forehead and sliding down my neck from my panicked state.

"It was just a dream," Louis spoke out pulling me into his chest knowing that his body contact usually calmed me down. My heart was beating in my ears slowly decreasing in beats when Louis soothed me by holding me tight. This happened often, every night when the lights were switched off I felt the same uneasiness creep over me.

"No, it wasn't." I shook my head denying Louis' methods to helping me come back to a resting heart rate. "That's what makes it terrifying, it was real."

"I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you." My blood pressure began to depress from its high state. Everything going from 100 back down to zero, my energy draining when Louis retracted back into a laying position with me still clinging to him.

Still, at the age of twenty years old I had night terrors and fears of the dark. I hadn't gotten over any of the childish fears I had had since I was four years old. I hadn't moved on from them because every time I closed my eyes I found myself in the stuffy closet with my hands pressed against my ears. I heard the shot that stung my ears and the man's voice I had pictured as the big bad wolf from the three little pigs, the story my father used to read me. I told myself it wasn't real, that it was only a dream but that was the worst part about it all; my dream had been a reality. I relived the same event every night when I closed my eyes to try and find peace, there was no going gently into that good night.

Sitting up again I brought my legs to a bent position where I propped my elbows on my knees and sighed deeply. Running my fingers through my hair I told myself that I should be less afraid, that what happened in the past could never happen again. I was under too much surveillance for even a small mistake to slip through the supervision. It had to be this way ever since that night a four-year-old girl's home was invaded, creating her worst nightmare.

"Come lay with me." Louis coaxed sitting up to my same level. His voice was cracked and raspy from being interrupted from a proper nights sleep.

"I'm sorry." I turned my downward gaze to Louis with my long blonde stands slightly impairing my vision. I hated the dark and because of it, I told Louis a night light was essential in the bedroom if we were to live together. He thought I was kidding at first but learned quickly that I was completely serious in the need for a small pool of light while the dark-clouded around the rest of the room.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. Just try to relax." Louis lightly lead me back to putting my head on his chest. My arm was bent and laid on his chest while I did my best to quiet my thoughts and find it in me to get some sleep. Letting my eyelids flutter I decided not to fight the urge to sleep knowing that I was going to need at least some rest to run off of tomorrow. Louis' hand gently ticked my back lulling me to sleep even more from the comforting gesture my body loved in times of stress.

Groaning to the sound of my phone going off I nuzzled myself more into Louis that snored lightly next to me. Knowing I hadn't changed positions in the remaining sleep, I had I pulled the blanket over me and cuddled into Louis. The only time I found sleep easier was in the early morning when I knew the sky wasn't cloaked with darkness, I basked in the light that was beginning to peek into the early morning sky. Again my phone went into a chorus of rings bringing me to the reality that whoever was calling wasn't going to give up on reaching me. Coming off of Louis I leaned over to the side table that bore my phone vibrating against the wood.

"Hello?" My voice was groggy and all that encompassed a morning voice. I didn't bother to open my eyes from any of this but rather kept them closed knowing that as soon as they were open they would remain that way.