farfalla

III.

"Your father knows best Mia, you have to trust that he's only doing this to keep you safe." Louis came in close moving a loose strand of hair out of my face. He knew my disappointment with the entire situation after talking it over with him but he knew as well as I did that I had no choice in the matter.

"I just hate that I have to leave again. I thought that things like this wouldn't be a factor now that I'm older." I expressed sighing deeply moving my arms around Louis' waist. I was going to miss the lost time I would have with him, I was afraid that this long distance would crumble our relationship.

"Age isn't immune to danger, unfortunately." Louis made a point bringing clarity to my clouded point of view. Giving him a small side smile I shrugged my shoulders loosening my grip on his waist, tending to the empty suitcase that sat on the bed.

Folding articles of clothing and placing them strategically in the small space I had, while simultaneously thinking up what ifs. Small thoughts like this poked at me and brought me back to a state of discomfort.

What was going to happen at night when the darkness closed in from the cloaked over sky? When my nightmares rose from the dusty corners of my mind? Louis was no longer going to be there to calm me from my heightened state of panic, I was going to revert back to being alone. There would be no waking me up from the dreams I would often get trapped in, I was held prisoner to these dreadful images.

"You know I'm going to miss you right?" I spoke to him once again eliminating the silence between the two of us. I hoped that he wouldn't find another while I was gone, if he ever did there was no point in me returning in the first place.

"I'm already missing you." Louis lowered himself into the bed. His hair was still messily arranged from this morning, he obviously had other things to do other than tending to his hair. He wore a white t-shirt with a pair of black skinny jeans that hugged his ass just right turning me on with just a little glance.

"Don't say that." I huffed holding back my climbing emotion. I didn't want to cry over leaving Louis, I would feel utterly embarrassed to do so. Not because I cared for him to see me crying but more for the fact that I hated others seeing me vulnerable. I had spent most of my life as a futile doll that everyone risked their lives to keep safe, they wouldn't ever get close enough to break me; afraid of my fragility.

"Why? It's true, just seeing you pack up all your things makes me miss you that much more." Louis explained when I looked up from folding clothes to see his mouth in a slight frown.

"Because if you say things like that, it makes it that much harder to leave." I reverted my eyes back to packing up the few stray items that were left in the pile I had carefully folded and set aside.

"It's going to be hard regardless of what I say. Just promise me to stay safe, do what they instruct you to do." Louis stood up from the bed once I zipped up the case that held my essential items. I dreaded the moments beyond this one, I couldn't come to the fact that they were going to happen anyway no matter how much I delayed.

"Now you're starting to sound like my dad." I rolled my eyes playfully making light of everything, a method I used to push away any sad emotion.

"I'm serious Mia, I care about you more then any other girl I've met. I won't let you screw it up by getting yourself hurt," Coming back to a closer proximity I felt the heat between Louis and me.

"When have you ever known me to hurt myself by getting myself into trouble? I know the procedures, I've been doing this since I was four years old." I reminded him reaching up to wrap my arms around Louis's neck. In doing so Louis managed to press his lips against mine sadness tugging at the moment when I realized this would be the last one for a while.