farfalla

XXXII.

"Were you forced to work for the secret service?" I asked Harry while I spooned some cereal I made for myself. I wasn't going to put much effort into my food I was eating since I was lazy towards midday. The apple jacks had sufficed my needs for the time being.

"No," Harry answered me simply turning to face the window to the outside desert that was seemingly endless. The Australian landscape wasn't much but red sand and flat terrain that was slightly boring in the least. I knew there was beauty in everything but it was hard for me to find it here, I didn't want to be placed here in this record heat.

"So then, why?" My eyes traced over Harry's back, his muscles were slightly tensed from me asking these sort of questions. I had doubted anyone had ever asked them before or even cared to know for that matter. Had anyone tried to get to know Harry for who he really was?

"Why do you want to know?" He kept his gaze out the window where there was nothing special to look at.

"Because you know everything about me when I only know a fraction about you. The service had been a huge part of your life and I just want to know how you got involved." I explained already knowing a little background from his file. I didn't want to let on I had snooped like that. If Harry knew I had gotten into his computer I would be digging my grave already.

I waited for a few moments for an answer from him. I can only imagine how hard this was for him, he hadn't ever done this before. In some ways, I was asking a lot from him to open up to me about all of this. He probably never opened up to anyone about this kind of stuff and I was willing to wait patiently for him.

Turning back to face me, his hands curled up under the grey granite countertops. His jade eyes moving over my own eyes as if scanning them for some unknown reason I didn't know. His brown curly hair was styled way from his face as always to enhance his facial features I found absolutely stunning. Harry was someone who attracted your attention even if you didn't want to give it to him. He had an effect over me even from the beginning that I didn't understand.

"I was eight when your dad found me. The foster family that had taken me on was hoarding large amounts of drugs and it was your dad's mission to eliminate them. He took me under his wing and gave me a better shot at life. I was given an extensive education and also trained to do things that got me where I am today. He was there when no one else was, he saved me." Harry told me in short opening up about his past and how he had been involved with my dad. His story was truly heartbreaking to hear that a child so young was placed with such horrible people. From the beginning, Harry didn't have a fighting chance to make it until my father took him away to start over fresh.

"You were a foster kid?" I asked him softly since he was opening up little by little I thought I would take the opportunity and learn more about why Harry was the way he was.

"I had been with ten different families before the age of eight. Families aren't looking for older children to adopt, they want babies." Harry explained to me as I listened actively to what he was telling me, asking follow up questions to get the conversation far.

"Have you ever tried to find your parents? Or know who they are?" I asked him hoping I wasn't intruding on his privacy. However, I found that maybe this was a good thing for Harry. He needed to get this all off his chest and maybe it was going to be therapeutic for him. I couldn't imagine having stuff like this bottled up to yourself for so long.

"No, never could figure out who they are. I don't know if I ever want to know, they did nothing but leave me in harm's way anyway. They threw me away like trash." Harry shook his head with an angered and hurt expression on his features that caused my heart to break a little inside. A little pain shooting to it as I heard what Harry had to say about his parent situation. I didn't even want to picture him all alone in a world as scary as our own.

"Whoever they are, made a huge mistake because you are an amazing person. You have been through hell a million times and still managed to get to where you are now. It wasn't your fault they left you the way they did, that was something they have to deal with themselves." I reassured getting up from my bar stool and slowly making my way over to where Harry stood leaned up against the counter.

"Yeah,  they made a mistake by getting pregnant." Harry blamed thinking it was still his fault that he was given up in the first place.

"You aren't a mistake Harry, you never were and you never will be." I touched Harry's hand by grabbing it and watching mine get engulfed into his bigger one. My eyes cast down to his ring clad fingers and cross tattoo that lined the side of his hand.

"Try telling that to the people who left me in the hospital after I was born to find my own way." Harry was still hurt from the past and it was understandable. I was hurting for him, listening to the way he saw himself. The entire story about him being an orphan from day one was a sad tale he put off telling anyone. He saw himself as a mistake and that alone was enough to rip my heart out of my chest.

"I am here now and if you weren't born, you wouldn't be here with me. I wouldn't have ever met you, you wouldn't have ever made me feel like I have." I told Harry taking his other hand and making complete eye contact with him. I wanted him to know he was important to me in ways he didn't even know. I didn't want him to think the way he did, the way he thought it was a mistake.

He had it hard from day one but made his way to me. Things were never going to be perfect and this will continue to be hard but I was willing to keep going and face any challenge that came to us.

"I'm here for you and I always will be." I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself into him as I felt his hands and arms snake around my torso.

-October 17, 2016