farfalla

XXIV.

Harry and I are the type to take two steps forward and four steps back. Firearms training hadn't been easy and in result, it had torn up our relationship pretty good. Fights had broken out between the two of us and I was reminded by my cut up hand from the first fight that started it all.

"Stop staring at me," I told him while I sat on the couch utterly bored to death. There were many opportunities to do things but Harry had restricted me. He was building to my growing irritation with his odd staring.

"I'm not staring, your the one giving me the death glare." Harry shrugged back almost knowing that he was infuriating me. Sometimes I swear he did things to intentionally piss me off.

"Maybe I wouldn't be giving you the alleged death glare if you weren't staring at me!" I pushed my hair away from my face sighing heavily for Harry to hear.

Maybe I was just in a bitchy mood today. I hadn't enjoyed my time here and I felt like we had been here for longer than we actually had. It was as if time was frozen in this frame I wanted to break out of.

"Why are you always starting fights with me?" Harry asked me when I refused to look back over at him. My head was turned right and my eyes trailed down to the floor. I could see where this conversation was going, there was no way it didn't end in a fight. This was the thick black clouds coming into view before the actual storm hit.

"I don't, you just see everything as an attack towards you! Anything I say you take the wrong way!" I fired really not in the mood to deal with his shit today. I felt like I was constantly living in a bad day with Harry these past weeks.

"You are always fighting me! You disrespect my authority!" Harry spat standing up from the couch while I did the same to try and match his height even though it wasn't possible.

"I'm not disrespectful Harry and you and I both know it! All I have ever done is respect you and do what YOU want! I'm the one over here dealing with so many mixed signals!" I said out loud not completely meaning for that to come out. Harry was the king of mixed signals and I never knew what he really meant. Every time he touched me or even came close to me the next day he would act as if it never happened and I was confused by it.

"I told you before, you were NOTHING to me! You are the one reading into everything! God, I touch you in target practice to help you and you see that as a sexual advancement!" Harry's voice was heightened now but I wasn't about to lower myself to him. I was heated and passionate about this topic and wasn't about to let him win this.

"I'm not the one going and telling you that I belonged to you! I'm not the one that kissed YOU! God, you think you are so innocent in the situation when you're clearly the root of it!" I spouted off remembering the one night I had actually found happiness in remembering. The moment that I held precious to me.

"I told you before it was a mistake! You are my job and that's all you will ever be!" The heat was rising up onto Harry's cheeks while we both spoke with roaring voices.

"You can't stand there and tell me you don't feel anything for me when it's so obviously clear that you do! Why would you have kissed me and let me sleep in your bed so willingly?" My voice was tired of keeping up with Harry's. I didn't yell all that often but being with Harry that had changed drastically.

"You drive me insane!" Harry shouted breaking the space between us and pacing around not even knowing how to respond to what I had said. He didn't have anything to say because there was nothing he could say.

"Why do you try so hard to resist me? Why are you so mean to me when I'm only trying?!" At this, my tears broke through and streamed down my face. My emotions were shining through and I hated that he had caused this.

"Because I can't control myself around you!" He thundered while averting his eyes to meet mine. The jade in them becoming more concentrated and animated when he was upset.

"W- what?" My voice lowering to his revelation.

"You drive me insane and I lose all control when I look at you. Do you understand how hard it is for me to be around you and know that I can't have you?" Harry's brows were knit together in frustration while he stopped pacing to look straight at me.

Again he continues when all he earns is silence from me. "It's so hard not being able to give into you! God, you are so beautiful and so unaware of the way you make me feel but if I let my guard down for one second... I can't let my guard down with you."

"You can!" I spoke out encouraging him to drop all his walls. Maybe this was a good thing we were having this conversation.

"No, I can't! That's what you aren't understanding Mia, because even if I did for a second; I would lose all my control I have worked so hard to maintain." I walked towards him now with his hand that was caught in his thick curls.

"You are obsessed with control Harry. You crave it and demand it in any situation. I think, your need for control is controlling you." I was in close proximity to Harry now and despite my mascara that no doubt smeared I still wanted him to keep his eyes on me. Our body heat was magnetic yet Harry was afraid to get close, he fought it like the plague. He fought it because he couldn't stand losing his control over himself to distance himself from me.

"Mia, don't you get it? This would never work." His voice changed in volume drastically upon my close body contact and truthful words he never responded to. He knew I was right but didn't think about it until I had said something.

"That's what you keep telling yourself. You are doing everything humanly possible to distance yourself from me. You are going as far as disabling your own emotions!" My eyes trailed down to his torso that was bare under his white button-up shirt. He was dressed in his uniform of a white nicely pressed button up and a pair of black dress pants.

"Mia it's dangerous. "

"That's a chance I'm willing to take." We were close now, almost enough to be touching. My eyes exploring his beautiful eyes that said so much without a word.

"People like me don't have happy endings." He ran a hand through my hair slowly causing goosebumps to rise up on my skin. His touch made me want to gasp for breath because it is as if I've lost any oxygen I once had.

Lacing my arms around his torso he then went to support my head with his hands. Taking me in closer my lips waited for his patiently, the heat between us growing the more we waited here. I could burn in here all day if it meant I could be against Harry.

Moving into me Harry laid his lips on mine. Starting out in a gentle kiss that was sweet I indulged giving into the tension. The mood changed however almost in an instant when he felt me consent to his kiss. That once gentle kiss turned into that of rough passion when he dropped his hands to my hips and gripped them hard.

Bodies moving against each other I felt Harry's tongue explore my mouth. Moaning as he roughly gripped me I focused on the kiss at hand that was playing out. Every bone in my body holding onto the moment as I had before. It was like a year without rain since the last time his lips had touched mine. It felt amazing now that he was on me. I could taste him on my lips and I couldn't help but moan audibly when his kisses trailed down my neck.

-August 01, 2016