farfalla

X.

1:07 PM

Internalizing. 

The way he pushed away his emotions and expressed only a stolid face. He was hard to understand and a mystery that couldn't be solved. It wasn't because he was unsolvable, it was because he guarded himself against being understood. He made it an impossible job to get close to him, he distanced himself from everyone.

He didn't indulge in getting into things from his past. He kept the same expression on his face, jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed, and body tensed and ready for any situation. He was a weapon with nothing to lose.

In some ways, I could relate to having nothing to lose. I have no one in my life, for the exception of my father but I never got to see him. Our relationship wasn't a normal father-daughter relationship because of what my dad's job title was. While all the other little girls would dance with their dad's at their father-daughter dances I was being homeschooled in a different country. While most little girls my age were jumping into their father's arms when they came home, I was only hoping for a phone call every night.

I had nothing and at this point no one to lose. Yes, I had Louis but even I understood that what I had with Louis was most likely dissolved by now. I knew I wasn't coming back home and I didn't expect Louis to wait for a girl he could never have. I was the girl who had no one and belonged to no place or person. No matter how much it hurt it was the reality of things.

I keep asking and questioning myself what the point of all of this was. Why was someone else risking their own life to preserve mine? Ever since Harry brought this to my attention on the plane I never could let it go. My mind ran over this, repeating relentlessly again and against but still, my understanding is limited. Yes, I understand that my father loves me and wants nothing but a safe environment for me but, this wasn't realistic. I was putting others in danger in attempts to keep away from it.

"Security needs to be tighter since we don't know who our enemy is. At this point, we need to treat things as if everyone is the enemy." A man that had introduced himself as Niall spoke between Harry and himself.

I was leaned up against the door trying to listen in to what they were discussing. I hoped that I could get some answers to my questions instead of Harry's typical answer, "It's classified" or "don't worry about it".

"Do we have any more information on Ashby?" I heard Harry question Niall behind the door I was pressed up against.

Ashby, the assumed enemy from the way the name was brought up in conversation. Was he the one that took me from the airport?

"No, he's gone off the grid and he's proven hard to track. All we know is that he has quite a few organizations working for him." Niall informed Harry answering the questions he had. Harry knew more then I did but not much more from the way it sounded. "What we do know is the human trafficking mob that you ran into at the airport, the Black Smoke, has information on Mia. They know how valuable she's worth."

My stomach lodged into my throat hearing Niall and Harry's conversation about newly found information. Part of me wishes that I never heard this in the first place merely because it was only heightening my anxiety. I feared what the unknown held but then again I also feared knowing the truth of the situation. Why was I so valuable in the eyes of these organizations? I was not highly trained or above average intelligence, I was ordinary.

"God damn it!" I heard a frustrated sigh and pacing in the room coming from none other than Harry. His irritation was growing by the second with all this new information coming out.