farfalla

XXI.

3:07 PM

How could I make him mine? This was the question on my mind all day. It had knocked me completely off my focus during our training sessions as well. Harry had been getting after me throughout the entire day because I was lacking the proper focus. I was letting simple things run past me because my attention wasn't one hundred and ten percent with Harry.

My eyes kept tracking down to Harry's lips and after he would get after me for not listening to his instruction my attention was no better. I couldn't get what Harry said to me out of my head, I was running over options in my head. I was trying to come up with exceptions to the rules.

Harry had said that he could never have me because of the conditions we were in currently. I understood his reasoning for all of it but that didn't mean I had to like it. I knew I wasn't allowed to be with Harry just as much as he wasn't supposed to be with me. My father had made that perfectly clear that I was to be on my best behavior with Harry and abide by anything he said.

I didn't think it would be so difficult to do what Harry asked. Harry had said we can't be anything and I was supposed to obey that. The only problem is, my body was drawn to him. I lost all focus when I saw those jade colored eyes look at me. They held so many emotions, you could see the extremity to every emotion with his eyes alone.

"Keep your guard up!" Harry shouted again at me when I realized I was completely up in my head thinking while my body went into autopilot.

"Sorry." I apologized trying to concentrate on Harry and his instructions. This was proven hard when I had a head full of thoughts. My mind was full of thoughts and it was making it beyond difficult to focus on what Harry was saying.

"Don't be sorry, do what I ask." Harry snarled with a growing irritation due to him asking me every ten minutes to keep my focus. He was repeating himself, something he had told me many times he didn't like doing.

Focusing long enough for Harry to show me points on the body I should aim for I let him come behind me. My body against his chest I could feel his muscles contract when he showed me the proper way to punch. Taking my wrists and helping to show me the fluent movement of the punch he was teaching me I couldn't help but feel that same sexual vibe. I took in a sharp deep breath when I saw his head peek over my right shoulder while he again helped me with how the punch should be thrown.

With the way my body was pressed up against his, he was losing my attention quicker than white on rice. These thoughts in my head and the way he was against me was causing me to lose my breath. I kept trying to catch it every time I caught myself finding it hard to breathe.

"Stop." Harry dropped my arms and moved away from my body. Turning around I found him in an irritated mood from looking at his expression he was giving me alone. He knew I wasn't paying close attention as I should but I couldn't help it, I had too many things to think about. Harry was distracting me from... Well, Harry.

"What?" I asked him already knowing what he was going to say.

"You know what. Stop liking the fact I'm touching you." Harry gnarled folding his arms across his chest huffing while doing so.

"What if I can't help it?" I asked him frustrated with everything. I knew he liked to touch me and I liked it when he did, my body melted into his.

"Then figure out how because we have things to do. You're making it extremely difficult for me to teach you anything!" His jaw was locked along with his eyes trying to use his same old tactics to intimidate or scare me.

Breaking the stare I turned my head away and gave into what Harry was saying. "Okay."

I wasn't going to give up on finding a way to Harry. I had already come so far with him, I had gotten him to open up to me more then I thought I ever could. He had shown me that he actually cares about me. Even though it was his sole job to care for me, he cared for me in a different way.

While I did my best to focus in on Harry's training lesson I couldn't help but notice his muscles protruding in his arms. The way they flexed when he had thrown different movements had brought butterflies to my stomach. Every day these feeling escalated higher and higher, the longer he went without touching me the more I felt the need for him too.

I needed to keep myself under control. I didn't want to come off as desperate even though that's what I really was in all aspects. I needed to stay sane even though I knew it would be hard. I didn't plan on throwing myself at Harry only for him to reject me, I don't know if I could handle another rejection.

Harry told me that he couldn't make me his because there were too many reasons restricting him from doing so. First of all my dad was his boss and he expected Harry to be completely professional with me. This meant that the only relationship Harry and I should have is professional. The second obstacle that put a romantic relationship at a stop was the fact that my dad had mentored Harry. I didn't know what Harry's backstory entailed but all I knew was that Harry learned from my father after he took him under his wing. Harry respected my father and would never go after me because I was my father's gem.

"Do you have a dad?" I asked Harry once he had wrapped up the days training. We stride towards the house together while I tried to keep up with Harry's quickening pace.

"Princess you know that everyone has a mom and dad? Did you not get the birds and the bees talk?" Harry mocked looking at me from the side. Huffing to myself I dismissed his annoying comment and went on.

"What was he like?" Disregarding his last little comment. I didn't expect Harry to open up but if for some reason he did, I was willing to ask the questions.

"Maybe I should call you fox since you seem to be very nosy," Harry responded opening the front door to the house and entering.

"Not nosy, curious. Put your feet in my shoes for a minute. You have been pulled  away once again from a life you are trying hard to patch up and put under the supervision of a guy that doesn't like to talk to you. You are supposed to trust him fully but you know nothing about him, only that his job title entails that he is supposed to protect you with his life. You can't tell me you wouldn't be the least bit curious about this person." I explained hoping that with that explanation he would open up slightly enough for me to get insight.

"Haven't you ever heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat, Princess?" Harry asked turning to face me. My gaze moving up since Harry was taller than me by at least six inches since I stood at 5'5.

"Yes," I answered with a furrowed brow unsure of what he was eluding to. What did he mean by curiosity killed the cat? By him simply letting me into his backstory was dangerous?

"I wouldn't recommend digging into others pasts, especially in the world you live in Princess. The more you know the more likely you are to be in danger with a lot of other people."

"What's the danger in knowing about you?" I had inched in and gotten closer the longer Harry and I talked. I had drawn in body heat in the space between Harry and me.

"Because everything about me is dangerous."

-July 20, 2016