Synchronized Swimming

Chapter 15: Emotions

Sang

"I think I'm in a food coma!" I grumble, leaning on Victor as we walk out of the restaurant. Luke laughs at my predicament.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone so tiny pack away so much food. You inhaled your pancakes faster than I could eat mine!"

I blush at his claim. "I didn't eat them that quickly!" I protest.

Gabriel chuffs. "I just saw you down five huge pancakes in fifteen minutes. You even beat Luke's standing record for pancake consumption! You need a medal or something."

"I was really hungry." I mumble. Luke laughs at my expression but quickly takes pity on me.

"We're just joking, cupcake. I think it's cute that you can eat faster than me. Wait until I tell North!" he says with glee. Gabriel and Victor chuckle at the thought North's reaction.

As we approach the car I speed up so that I can get into the backseat before anyone can stop me. The three boys all make noises of protest, but they realize that I'm not moving and reluctantly take their own seats. This time, Victor is driving and he puts on a classical radio station. Gabriel groans from the front seat and reaches to change the station, but Victor nudges his hand away from the control.

"I'm driving, so I choose. Besides, I listened to your awful pop songs on the way over here, so you can listen to songs I like on the way back." Victor tells Gabriel.

I surprise myself by speaking up. "Yeah, classical is nice. My solo this year is to a beautiful piano song. I forgot what the name of it was though." I say. The boys around me still and Victor grips the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white. "What? Did I say something wrong?" I ask in a rush.

When none of the boys say anything to allay my fears my eyes start to prickle with tears. I thought I was fitting in so well, but apparently I was wrong. "I'm sorry! I just wanted to contribute to the conversation. I won't do it again!" I whisper, tears freeing themselves despite my best efforts and running in silent tracks down my cheeks. This snaps the boys out of their stupor and they all protest as one that I didn't do anything wrong. Luke reaches over to hold my hand, and I take comfort from his reassuring grip.

"You're fine, Princess. We were all just surprised when you mentioned your solo music. The fault was all ours." Victor says with a tight smile. I calm a bit at his explanation, but I still don't get why my solo music would be upsetting to them.

"Do you guys not like my solo?" I say. Luke squeezes my hand comfortingly.

"All nine of us are amazed at your solo. It's one of the reasons we invited you to practice with us." he says.

"So why does the music upset you so much?" I wonder for what feels like the millionth time.

Victor heaves a big sigh and launches into his explanation. "I composed your solo music, 'Rambling Nightmares'," he holds up a hand to stop my questions, "I hated the song when I composed it, so I've spent a lot of time associating the piece with bad memories. It wasn't until I saw you swim to it that I recognized the beauty and value of the song. So really, I should thank you for freeing me from my hatred for composing, but instead I made you cry. I've spent the past day agonizing over how to tell you, and when it's time I freeze up." he finishes bitterly.

I'm shocked over Victor's admission. I never would have guessed that the unassuming boy sitting behind the wheel would be a master composer! I force myself to push my awe to the side and rush to comfort him. "I don't blame you, Victor, or Gabriel or Luke for making me cry. I'm still new to these types of situations, and I just got overwhelmed. It's not your fault! You are an amazing composer and I hope that you can find joy from your work in the future." I say, growing more emphatic the longer I continue on.