Kilgrave's Joy

14- Aka The Joy's of Amanda Rickman

Woah.
I opened my eyes to see Kilgrave laying next to me, sitting up in his iPad.
That just happened. After Kilgrave had finished, it didn't take me long to fall asleep, I was exhausted.

"How's your head?" He asked, noticing that I was awake.

"Better." I admitted, sitting up, pulling the sheets with me. "I- er."

"You can have that day you wanted." He looked to me, locking his iPad and placing it on the side.

"Really?" I was actually quite surprised.

"Consider it... A choice of trust." Kilgrave flung his legs over the side of the bed, pulling up his suit trousers up along with his boxers. I never knew that his need to control reached that far, obviously his parents had made his brain crave it during the experiments.

"Thank you." I didn't know why I was thanking him, but this allowed me a day to get in contact with Jessica Jones and get some truth about why she called that tactical team. She put me in this situation.

"I'll be downstairs. Let me know when you want to eat." He leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out of the room, leaving me alone.

Oh my god what have you done? Great, the voice was back.
You slept with him?! Oh my god Amanda.

"Shut up, Joy." I paused, why did I name her Joy? I twigged, Joy was the name that Kilgrave had given me to hide my identity when we arrived into the States.
I'm the sane side of you, you idiot. I inwardly scoffed, I was talking to myself and trying to convince myself I was sane, not a good sign. I needed to get out of here.

Finally something we can agree on.
"Just shut up." I growled, rolling my eyes. There was no response, I guess she had gone for now.
"Right." I sighed, thinking about what Joy had said. I hadn't just slept with him, though. It was more than that. It was a feeling of ultimate surrender, where I let him have me completely. But he wasn't even controlling me.
I stood up and quickly ran to my room, grabbing my clothes and brushing my hair. Once I had gotten dressed, I sat on my bed and brushed my hair, which was now dry and wavy. The amount of restraint it must have taken not to control me...

He shouldn't need restraint to not control you. He's a monster.

A monster who's really good in bed.

I cringed, not believing that I had just said that. What was happening to me? It was like I was turning into a person with a bloody split personality.

Well, incase you haven't noticed I've been here ever since you've been locked up. After you died.

Joy was right. Ever since... Kilgrave saved me with his blood.

Oh hell no I'm not a result of him.

I stood up, looking at myself in the mirror. A small pink line ran across my neck, I guess even with my healing abilities healing that took a huge toll on me. Should I tell him about-
No. Joy and I thought together.
Oh god, I'm talking to myself!

Making my way downstairs, I took a deep breath. It was still early, so I could ask if I could have my day today.
I'm sure he'll be thrilled. I rolled my eyes, wondering if she was a permanent side-effect of Kilgrave's blood.

"Kilgrave?" I called, walking into the lounge. There he was, one leg on another, the weekly paper open, watching tv.
Urgh. Joy voiced. I instantly disagreed. He wasn't a typical attractive bloke, but something about him was... Mesmerising.
"You're staring" I shook myself from my internal monologue.
"Sorry. I was... Er-"
Admiring.
"Staring?" He questioned, placing his paper down and gesturing me to come closer. I blushed, pulling at my vest top as I sat beside him.
"Can I- er"
Oh for gods sake stop muttering. I immediately imagined a door slamming in my own face in attempt to shut Joy out.
"You want to have you day out today?" He finished for me.
"Yes." I nodded. Why was I so nervous around him all of a sudden?
I waited for a snarky reply from Joy, nothing.
"Very well." Kilgrave stood up, walking through to the kitchen. "Come here."
I had no choice but to follow, I'm guessing that it was just a poor choice of words. "This phone has my number and my number alone on it. Any problems and you call me immediately. Understood?"
I nod, holding my hand out.
"I need verbal clarification, Amanda."

"Understood." Kilgrave handed me the burner phone, along with a lot of money.

"There's $500 there, go mad." I blinked a few times.

"That's a lot of money." I flipped through it like the pages of a book, splitting it into two halves and place them in my jeans pocket.

"I want you to treat yourself and do what you wish. The only condition is that you be back no later than 10pm"

"What am I, a little girl?" I argued.

"That's 14 hours, Amanda. Don't test my patience." I held up my hands, reaching my coat that was hung on the door by the kitchen counter.

"Ok." I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. "Thank you for this." I opened the door, still unable to leave.

"You may leave." He was placing a lot of trust in me, but there were some things I needed to do with today.
"There's a taxi outside will take you into New York. I shall see you tonight." I nodded, walking out the door to hear the engine of a typical yellow New York taxi. My first ride in a taxi. I was excited to ride in this, not having to worry about Kilgrave drama for a day.
"Where to, Miss?" The driver asked.

"The Alias Investigations building, please." The taxi driver shook his head as he started to drive.

"I'm sorry Miss, I'm not quite sure where that is." I sighed, not knowing where to look.

"Ok, could you take me a Police station near Central Park? I should be able to find the number for her there." He nodded, the music from the radio suddenly blaring through the speakers as I began my journey to New York.

Here we go.

Jessica's POV

They had been gone for weeks, and the trail had gone cold.

Shit. Jessica thought, she had no idea where they might be or how Kilgrave could have disappeared without a trace.  The last member of the team refused to talk to Jessica, it was obvious that he had been threatens by Kilgrave, but he was more threatening than Jessica. No matter how much she wanted to find and kill this man and save this girl, Amanda, from becoming the next Hope Schlottman, she couldn't bring herself to threaten him too.

Another glass of bourbon burned down her throat, taking the edge off the guilt that swirled around in her mind. Jones couldn't help but wonder if she had gone in alone, she would have been able to save Amanda. That's what she had to do now, but first, she needed to find them.

"Alias Investigations" Jessica answered her phone immediately.

"Jessica Jones?" A soft female voice said at the other line.

"Who is this?" Jessica replied, grabbing her note pad.

"It's Amanda Rickman, oh, er, Joy. I heard you were looking for me."