Kilgrave's Joy

16- Aka Kilgrave's Salvation

"You're being controlled by him!"
I was stood on the edge, threatening to jump off. I was with a woman.
"Amanda you have to listen to me!"

"I'm not being controlled, Jessica." I answer, but that voice isn't my own.
Joy.
What's going on? "I think I- you wouldn't understand!" I took a step forward, plunging towards the street below.

***

Sucking in a sharp breath, I shot up, breathing heavily.
It was a dream...
I searched my mind for Joy, looking around the room to see Kilgrave lying next to me. If Joy was there, she'd have something to say about this.
I waited, watching him turn over.

"Bad dream?" He asked, sitting up. I nodded, looking away from him.
I'd done it yet again. I'd let him in, I'd submitted to him.

"It was nothing really." I mumbled, swinging my legs over the side and grabbing his shirt that was on the floor. I put it on along with a clean pair of his briefs, since my clothes were in my room.

"You really shouldn't do that." Kilgrave growled, standing up and walking over to me. He had briefs on too, but no top. Glancing down I saw why he had said that.

"Does me wearing your clothes really-" he pulled me close to him, keeping my arms near his chest as he possessively wrapped his arms around me. If he could let the whole world know I belonged to him, I think he would do.
"So." I looked at him, a stiff object rubbing against my navel. "What are you going to do about... That?" I looked down briefly, playing him at his own game.

"I'm going to make you mine." He all but growled, his breath sending shivers up my spine.
I tried to step back but his arms were locked around me, trapping me with my arms next to his chest.
I can't believe I'm falling for this. I suddenly thought, flashes appearing in my mind about when he abused me, kept me a prisoner and when he slit my throat.
I panicked, struggling out of his arms and backing away, falling onto the bed.

"S-stay away." I put my hand up, a green glow appearing again.

"Calm down." His voice remained calm, and with his words my breathing evened out. He grabbed a pair of suit trousers and stepped towards me.

"Please." I begged, turning away.

"Tell me what you saw." His voice has hardened, similar to when Kilgrave had first introduced himself to me. No, this was different... He seemed wounded now. But not in pride, he was emotionally hurt.
I kept hurting him, and I didn't know how or even why, but I didn't like it.

"I saw every horrible thing you had ever done to me." I flinched at the thought, images flashing through my mind once more. "I- how could I have forgotten about all of this." I shook my head, wanting the images to go away.

"Think about all of the times we've had together." His voice sounded desperate, like he knew me he was losing me.
Immediately the bad images vanished, and were replaced by the images of our times together. The first night we met back in England, the countless dinners we went on in the finest restaurants in New York, and when he saved me from that task force Jessica had sent, he had kept me safe.

Kilgrave remained silent, but no words were needed. The good didn't balance out the bad, but I also knew that he wasn't truly a bad person. He was a lost, lonely confused little boy that just wanted to be loved in return.
I stood up, running towards him and wrapping my arms around his torso.

"I think... I think I'm in love with you." I said, muffled by his torso. His arms immediately returned the hug when those words were said, his heart beat quickening.

I wasn't entirely sure if I loved Kilgrave or not, but there was something there. Something that I couldn't explain.

They say that when you meet someone you are meant to be with, you don't get weak knees or sweaty palms, or even a nervous heart rate. You feel utter calmness, like you've known them your whole life. That's how I feel with Kilgrave. No matter how many bad things he has done, I always found it in me to forgive him.

I wouldn't change him for the world, but I also knew he had to if Jessica Jones was ever to leave us alone.

I needed to be Kilgrave's Salvation.

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Sorry, short chapter this time! Next chapter will begin the new arc, Kilgrave and Amanda will start to face their issues and try to take down Jessica Jones. For those of you who like my Jessica chapters I shall be trying to write more in third person from Jessica's perspective when this arc comes into play, she will be around a lot more!!
Expect the next upload soon, thank you all for sticking with me 😁