The Heartbreaking Agreement

Chapter XXVI

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I hoped I was dead.

I didn't want to wake up ever again. I was a failure, I couldn't do even the simplest thing. I couldn't protect her. 

The melody of her shaking voice was stuck in my mind, bringing back the horror from my childhood. 

It's going to be okay, you're fine. You're safe, Jerome. You're safe now.

You're fine... You're fine... You're fine...

No, I'm not fine. I was stupid to ever believe I was. Mother didn't believe herself. She probably thought both of us were going to die that night. I wish it was true. I wish I could go to Mother. 

But when I opened my eyes and saw Kile's face above mine, so close that I could count his eyelashes, I knew I was still alive. I was still in this hell I created myself. 

My friend moved away from me a little bit, a worried look disappeared from his face and he sighed, relieved. He called someone. Kile moved his hand in a encouraging gesture to come closer. I looked at few people, coming into the room slowly. Just then I realized where I was.

Kile's lake house. That mean Quinn has to be here as well.

And he was. His face was red and brown from all bruises and cuts he got from Nathan's Tigers. His dark blond hair was messy and dirty. His left arm was moving awkwardly, as he was holding it lightly with his right hand. He looked like he just got back from a war. I probably don't look any better.

Behind Quinn there were the twins, Thomas and Clare. They smiled lightly towards me, which I tried to respond the same way, but the pain stopped me immediately. Their lips moved, saying something to me, but I couldn't hear them. Why are they whispering?

Seeing I didn't respond at all, Clare glanced at Kile, saying something. 

Oh, motherfucker. Are you telling me I'm deaf? I can't be! Actually, yes I can, but... I can't. Blind or deaf - I won't be able to handle this. I can't take a responsibility for one person. How am I suppose take care of myself now? I can't let other people do that for me. I can't trust them! Even Kile. And especially Mike. 

Kile sat next to be on the bed and touched my ear. What the fuck are you doing - I wanted to asked, but before I could even move, I heard. It wasn't a strong, powerful sound, but more like a song of an...

"Jerome"

... angel.

She was alive, somehow. Maybe it was all in my head? Maybe I miss her so much she just appears in front of me, when in reality no one is there. But when I saw Kile looking at her I knew I wasn't crazy. Not yet, at least.

Seeing her in the doorway I tried to sit up, but the pain in my back wouldn't let me. Mad at how pathetic I was, I stayed in place. Kile's hand on my shoulder encouraged me to stay in one position. 

I moved my eyes away from her. Honestly, I didn't wan't her to see me that way. I didn't want her to see how weak I really am. It was worse than being deaf. It was a torture.

"You crazy son of a bitch!" I'm pretty sure she yelled, but I only heard her words as a whisper. Whatever was on my ear, it protected me from Angel's anger. 

"An, the fuck?" Quinn turned his head towards her. Oh, so they already saw each other. Too bad I couldn't witness their reunion. It probably was funny. Or cute. Most likely both.

But my reunion with Angel was completely different. It wasn't adorable or heartwarming. She passes Quinn and others to reach the bed and slap me. My left cheek burned, but I forgot about it when I saw tears in her eyes. 

The universe was crying again and it was all because of me.

Karma must hate me right now.

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"Jerome, can you hear us?"

"Loud and clear"

"Don't read my lips. Answer honestly."

"I can fucking hear you!"

Klaus  smiled widely.

"He's fine" he directed his words to Kile and Mike. Nathan's friend came here few days after I woke up in the lake house to inform us Nathan wants to see Angel. Of course, I wanted to say "no", but why would he care about my opinion? 

"Where's Angel?" Klaus looked out the window, which had a view to the lake. 

"She's with Quinn, Clare and Thomas. They went to buy some food and painkillers for this idiot." explained Kile, who sent me a silly look. 

Yes, everyone now calls me an idiot. Or a clown, son of a bitch or motherfucker. They believe I planed the entire accident, which wasn't true. If I did, I would be dead by now.

"So you were deaf for couple of days?" Klaus asked me the same question for the 100th time.

"Clare says it was because of shock, when I hit my head."

"How's your leg?"

I moved it, asking myself that question. It still hurts when I try to stand up, so they got me a wheelchair, whenever I wanted to go outside. I hated that thing more than anything else in the world. 

"It'll get better"

Klaus sent me a light smile and nodded.

"I'm sure it will. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I heard your little friends are back." Klaus, with Kile, walked out from the room and went outside to talk to Angel. I saw them through the window. Angel, with few bags in her hand, was listening to Kile and his brother, probably explaining how Nathan wanted to see her again. 

I didn't trust that dirty bastard. Nathan ran away with Angel to meet my grandfather, so he could tell her everything about Tigers, Phoenix and their past. He told her how my mother was murdered and my father just vanished that night. My grandfather and Nathan told Angel everything I didn't want her to know. 

Now she won't talk to me. She won't even walk into my room. Every time when I'm in the wheelchair, trying to somehow move around the house, she runs upstairs, knowing I won't be able to go up there. She became distant to me so quickly. I'm sure they must have told her something more. I have to find out-

No. I can't. 

Why would I try to get her back if I'll lose her again? I will hurt her once more, make her cry thousand of times. I can't protect her - not from Tigers or Phoenix - but I can protect her from myself. I need to walk away and she needs to disappear from my life. 

Yes, that'll be the best for both of us.

So why does it hurt?