OPEN [boyxboy] ✓

thirty-nine:: when you find a solution.

[Double update because I have no self control but I also have the next chapter almost completely done and the one after that halfway done. Consider this a treat because school is coming back in two weeks and I won't have a lot of time to write.]

OKAY I WANT A LOT OF COMMENTS ON THIS CHAPTER, I'M GOING TO SLEEP BECAUSE IT'S FIVE AM BUT PLEASE? I KNOW YOU GUYS CAN DO IT AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN YOU DON'T COMMENT. PLEEEEEASSSSE? COME ON, I DOUBLE UPDATED, I DESERVE THIS.

THIRTY-NINE:: when you find a solution.

"What's your sleep schedule like?" The man in front of me had asked.

After getting to the hospital with my dad bright and early the next day, I'd been through a lot of scans. They'd tested me for depression and we were apparently waiting on some results from God knows what. All I knew was these questions were odd and it was uncomfortable to say the least. The man in front of me wasn't all that old, barely in his thirties I'd assume with a head of short-cut curly hair, skin a little darker than Benji's but bright hazel eyes that stared me down behind glasses.

The laugh lines and gentle smile made him easily approachable and I know that should've lured me in to speak about my problems. Dr. Lueeth was nice enough and he wasn't all that intimidating -pretty attractive too- but he was still a doctor.

My dad sat beside me, hand gripping my medical records that he had in his hands. He always paid extra attention to my health... It started to become something way too important to him when I was around ten and had an allergic reaction to some onions, I remembered that I couldn't breathe and apparently almost died. Since then, he'd never let anything slip past him and maybe that's why I knew he'd get me checked out as soon as Paul told him about my panic attacks.

Nudging me, my father pulled me out of my thoughts and I stared back into the piercing eyes of my doctor. I swallowed dryly, wishing I wasn't there and wishing these questions weren't so specific... Somehow, that made them harder to answer.

"Um... I sleep fine, I guess." I wasn't comfortable and he could tell so he flashed me another one of his charismatic smiles and I struggled to figure out how he got his teeth so white and straight.

Then that made me think of Benji and how if he were there, he'd joke about me being white and gay. A small smile made itself home on my lips but it was quickly wiped away when Dr. Lueeth spoke again.

"You have to tell me the truth in order for this to work. I'm not going to judge you, okay?" Looking hopefully at me, he'd smiled again when I nodded, obviously happy that I'd cooperated. "How's your sleep?"

Shrugging, I thought it over. My sleep was kind of a problem lately, I was tired out of nowhere but sometimes I found myself laying awake beside Paul and listening to his soft snores until early hours of the morning and I'd go to school unable to stay awake in first period. "I can't sleep sometimes but I fall asleep during the day and I feel tired but then I lay down and I can't." I was frustrated with myself, I'd seen the bags under my eyes so often that they didn't faze me anymore and I was sure they noticed.

"I see," deciding not to comment on that, he bit on the end of his black pen, looking back down at the paper in front of him and checking things off before he met my eyes again. I felt like I'd said something wrong and I hated it, "how's your energy been aside from that? Like these past few weeks compared to before you came out?"

My dad had unfortunately told the doctor I was gay when we'd started this meeting, I was sure. He probably told the man my whole predicament but surprisingly, the question was asked as if it were normal. It felt good to not be judged because I liked boys.