Save Me (A Niall Horan FanFiction)

Ch. 16 - Too Afraid

As I played my guitar for Louis, I fell into the song. I remembered writing the lyrics to it... It had been two weeks after Niall left Knoxville the first time, after that first interview. And I was consumed with mental images of him. For some reason my brain just couldn't shake those glances or his attempts to briefly touch my hand with his. And as I'd done my entire life, I locked myself inside of a bathroom or a closet and wrote what what my heart felt.




As I strummed the final chords of the song, Louis clapped and whistled his approval.




"Hollie... That was incredible!" Louis exclaimed.




I blushed. "Uhhh. Thanks. I usually don't play for anyone, so I'm not used to feedback. But, glad you liked it."




Louis just smiled. All of a sudden his eyes brightened and he started to bounce up and down on the bed. "Hollie! Hollie! I have a question!"




Laughing uncomfortably, I put my hands on his shoulders to stop the bouncing. "Okay - what's that question?"




"Was that about Niall?" He was smirking at me by the time I processed his question.




"Louis, that is none of your business. None." I said, getting annoyed. "I'm going downstairs." As I walked out the door, I heard him mumbling something about me being too 'sensitive', but he had touched a nerve and it really wasn't his business.




By the time I reached the kitchen, I realized who I was looking for. Him. Niall. And he was no where to be found. I resigned myself to the possibility that maybe he'd gone out, so I walked back towards my room.




While walking towards the guest room, I was startled by a crashing sound that came from behind a closed door. Not thinking about being branded as a nosy houseguest, I opened the door. "Is everyone alright?"




"Uhhh, fine Hollie. All's splendid." While I didn't see him, I knew it was Niall talking to me, so I closed to door behind me and entered the room.




"Niall, what's happened? I heard a noise." I was wandering around the room looking for him, but I couldn't seem to find him.




"I'm just great." He was speaking very sarcastically to me all of a sudden.




"Well, I'm worried about you. I won't leave until I can see that you're alright. Don't be so stubborn!" I was getting frustrated with him at this point. All of a sudden, I heard the crash again, and I zeroed in on the bathroom. "Heard you! I'm coming in."




When I walked in, Niall was sitting on the toilet, head in his hands, surrounded by a variety of broken things. "Oh Niall... what have you done?" I asked sadly. He didn't say anything, so I leaned over the broken pieces and gently took his hands. "Come here...."




I slowly walked him out of the bathroom, avoiding the dangerous spots. When I led him into the bedroom, I guided him onto the large bed and I sat next to him - making sure to give him space.




After an uncomfortable few minutes of silence, I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows. "What happened in there? Can we talk about it?"




Niall, however just groaned and looked the other way. I put my hand gently on his chin and turned his face toward mine. "Niall Horan. I've told you my deepest and darkest secrets. Be honest with me, please."




He looked at me and then looked at his hands. "I know. I think I just got frustrated... and probably scared. Those containers were just there..."




I looked at him seriously. "Scared about what?"




"Hollie, I'm scared of you. Of everything that's happened to you. I don't what to hurt you after everything that you've already been through. I have felt something for you for a while, but I want to be sure it's real because I don't want to be anything like that other bloke. And I was fine with all of these thoughts... until I-I heard your song."




As Niall spoke, I stood up. I walked over to the window and wrapped my arms around my chest. So he didn't want to try to make this work? What was he talking about, my song? Did he stand outside the door? Did he say he's scared of me? How long has he felt this way? As I thought about these questions, and others, I felt tears pooling in my eyes and beginning to escape down my cheeks.




I heard him walking toward me and when he touched me shoulder, I moved away. As I moved, he saw my tears.




"Hollie, I didn't mean to hurt you." He said as he put his arms out to hug me.




As I stepped away, again, I said, "Niall, I can't. You just said some things that I need to think about."




Niall stood in his room, near the window where I'd left him. But I walked to the guest room and shut the door, flicking the lock. The tears I'd been holding in cascaded down my face as I gathered my suitcases that still hadn't been unpacked.




I knew exactly four people besides Niall in this city. One of them would help me, at least I hoped so.