Stubborn Love

chapter: 9

   "I was wondering if you would like to maybe get a coffee with me. It' been a while and I think we need to um talk," he said nervously biting his lip looking from me to James. "Umm I'm not sure we should do that," I responded to him. "Come on Grace it wont kill you to talk to me would it," he said to me. I looked at him for a few seconds. Last time I bumped into him he would barely talk to me, now he wants to get a coffee with me. "Alright I guess," I replied before we went towards Starbucks.

  When we got to Starbucks I found us a table in the far back. There aren't very many people here to begin with but in case we start fighting I don't want to be in a place where we are very noticeable. I sat down in one of the chairs and grabbed James from the stroller. I grabbed out his soother and some baby cookies for him to eat in case he starts getting fussy when I'm talking to Josh.

   "One grande vanilla bean Frappuccino with a shot of raspberry," I heard so I looked up from James. Josh was standing there in all his sexy glory holding two Frappuccino's. One that was mine and another that was for him I'm guessing. "You remember my order?" I questioned him. He sat across from me and handed me my drink. I quietly thanked him because James was starting to fall asleep. "Of course I do how could I forget." he said. I just shrugged and took a long gulp of my drink.

   "You really have changed from the last time I saw you," he said to me before he slipped his drink. "I can say the same thing about you. Last time I saw you, you were not as muscled as you are now and you possessed being cute were as now you are sexy," I said to him absentmindedly. "You think I'm sexy," he said to me teasingly. "Yeah," I mumbled quietly going extremely red with a blush. I looked down at James to hide my blush from him.

   I felt fingers on my chin tugging my face to look up. "You don't have to hide from me Grace," Josh said to me. I never replied so he said, "I think you're pretty sexy too if it makes you feel any better." That comment from him made my face flame a bright red again.

   I decided to get down to the point of why we were here so I said, "What is it you wanted to talk about?" He sighed deeply all trace of teasing gone, a serious expression replaced his relaxed one.

   "What happened when you were in Ireland for you to have froze me out the way you did? I called you and your house everyday and I was always given some crap excuse of you not being there. That was only on the days the phone were answered," he said slightly angry.

   I sighed quietly before saying, "I found out I was pregnant." He gave me a 'no shit' face so I elaborated my answer more. "When I found out I was pregnant I was scared of what you would say so I...," I trailed off after that not knowing exactly what to say.

   "You froze me out. Stopped returning my calls and messages. Got your family to give me shit excuses on why you couldn't talk. I had no clue what I did wrong because you didn't talk to me. I loved you Grace and you just ignored me because you found out you were pregnant," he said his voice rising with each word.

   "Calm down please Josh," I said in a soothing voice. "Don't tell me what to do. You lost the right to expect me to listen to you the moment you stop answering the fuckin' phone," he yelled. "I'm sorry Josh. I didn't know what to do. I thought you would be mad and yell at me the way your yelling now," I said back to him. "It's your own fault that I'm reacting like this. If you would have just told me that you were pregnant I wouldn't be so mad. You are such a lying bitch Grace," he said to me in a harsh tone.

   My heart seemed to have broken a little more when he called me a lying bitch. I placed James in the stroller before saying, "You have no right to call me a lying bitch. I did what I thought would be right for me and my baby. I did what I thought would keep us safe from getting hurt. I never meant to hurt you Josh that wasn't my intention. I'm sorry that I hurt you because I never wanted to do that, I love you for crying out loud. You are the one who has turned into an asshole. Since I got back you have been acting all weird. Sometimes your nice to me the next minute your being a jerk. I cant handle this with you right now. If you want to be in our life give me a call, but first you have to build a bridge and walk the fuck over it because you cant be mad at me forever."

   After my small rant I grabbed my drink removed the cap and straw then dumped it over Josh's head. I then walked out of there and got as far away from there as possible. As I walked out the door I heard Josh yell, "Fuck Grace." I was so mad at him. Calling me a lying bitch, who does he think he is. Being an asshole all because I never told him he is a dad. I mean what was I supposed to do. Pick up the phone, dial his number, and say, "Guess what that day we had sex in the cabin you forgot a condom because now your going to be a daddy, congratulations."

   I know him almost, if not better than he knows himself. I've known him his whole life and I know he would have gotten mad. I preferred not telling him about me being pregnant because that way he couldn't reject me or his baby.

   When I got home my mom was up so I gave James to her. "Can you watch him for me?" I said. "Sure hunni what's wrong?" she questioned. "Nothing," was my reply before I ran upstairs to my room. I sat there crying my eyes out for hours. The last time I cried this much was when I found out I was pregnant. I never would have done it with Josh all that time ago if I knew it would cause me this much pain. I love James more than life it self and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. But sometimes I wish I was a normal eighteen year old girl who went to school, had a loving boyfriend, and had no baby.

   By the time I left my room I was done crying. I showered and tried to make it look like I hadn't just cried for hours straight. I went downstairs and had dinner. I stayed down there only because I knew I would be questioned if I left again. Chloe, my mom, and dad keep asking what's wrong but I wont tell them because I know my dad will kill Josh for  making me cry . At 10:00 I grabbed James and went upstairs. I fed him his bottle and put him to bed.

   I went to bed after and had one of the worst sleeps of my life. I really wish I never agreed to talk to Josh today at Starbucks.