I Hate This Part(Zayn Malik)

Chapter 10-Zayn

“ZAYN! WHAT’S WRONG!?!” Louis screams jumping on my bed in the hotel causing Eleanor to laugh. she’s visiting for the week.

“Nothing is wrong Louis,” I explain throwing the duvet over my face.

“I’m tired. Go away!” I shout at everyone in my room.

“Someone’s grumpy,” I hear Niall whisper causing a frown to appear on my face.

“Bullshit Zayn. What’s wrong mate?” Harry says calmly sitting down next to me. here’s the deal, I have been a depressed piece of shit a week after we left Utah. I know. I am getting in to deep with Monica even though we barely know each other. Well, we know each other a lot better now but back then we didn’t. we left Utah about a month and a half ago. I now understand why Louis and Eleanor were having problems because of distance. The times don’t work well together and you’re both so busy that you don’t know when you can talk. Monica and I have been trying really hard. She even got a skype and facetime so we can see each other although it’s not the same. We text each other all of the time and we never say goodnight anymore. We just don’t stop texting. We respond to each other when we can. It may be hours before she gets a response or I get one. It’s too much stress for me but what makes it worse is that I cant talk to anyone about it. I still don’t want her to get hurt.

“Nothing,” I groan as Harry pulls the duvet off of my face.

“Zayn. You know you can tell us anything right?” Harry asks. I nod causing them all to sigh.

“Alright. We’re going to the pub down the street. Feel free to join us if you please,” Harry says giving up and leaving the room with the others on his heels. I feel bad that I am causing them this much worry. I try not to let the guilt get to me though as I get out my laptop. I immediately pull up skype and ring Monica impatiently. I really need to see her, even if it is just for a minute. I haven’t seen her in a week without looking at pictures of her with the cardboard cutouts, that one of us, and the one she sent me. she’s lucky. All she has to do is go on the internet and she can find one of me. doesn’t work with me.

“Zayn?” Monica says as her face pulls up on my laptop. She’s wearing her Zayn Malik onsie and her hair is up in a pony tail and she looks really tired. I feel bad.

“did I wake you?” I ask with a grin.

“nah. I was actually about to go to bed because I work in the morning. Plus Alex and Kaleb are here again so I can’t be long,” she says running her hand through her head whilst yawning. I feel bad. Alex keeps her up so much, occasionally with Alyssa but not as much. I am glad that she is there for her though. After all that lass goes through she needs someone like Monica. And Alex is there for her in return. I just wish I could be there for her too like Alex can be.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could help,” I respond.

“you probably could if you would tell people about us,” she mutters under her breath and I sigh. She believes that she can handle the hate that she would receive but I don’t believe that she can. Monica feels the need to please everyone and if she doesn’t then she feels like a failure and goes into a depression. That’s just Monica though, even if she doesn’t like the person.

“Monica..,” I say letting her know that I heard her.

“Well why cant we?” she almost yells.

“The hate. I j-“ I begin to explain when she cuts me off.

“I can handle the hate Zayn! Sometimes I don’t think that you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. I mean I’ve told Alex. Not that it’s you but I’ve told her that I have a boyfriend but no, you wont even tell a soul. I don’t even think you want to be with me at times since you’re so ashamed of me! you know what Zayn? I have to go. Text or call me later. Bye,” she says.