Infallible

Chapter 21

The small black pickup truck jostled roughly down the broken road. Headed back towards Dauntless, the passengers of the car were tense.
"You killed Zachariah?" Four asked Rae from the driver's seat.
"I-I don't know." She whispered.
"Rae it's okay. It was self-defense against a Factionless. You didn't have a choice."
Rae shook her head. "I stabbed him...in the chest. He was bleeding a lot, but I just ran. I didn't wait around to watch him die."
There was a few moments of silence, when Eric said to Rae,
"You did good. You were brave and you got out alive. I'm proud of you."
Rae lay her head on his chest, feeling nothing but heavy. She had just killed a man. She couldn't erase the blood from her mind, or the look on his face. As much as she hated him, her Amity heart was broken.
Four raised an eyebrow at Eric's sentimental words. Above Rae's head Eric rolled his eyes and then kept them forward.
Once the three of them were back at Dauntless, Four went to the control room to ensure that all of their nightly activities hadn't been recorded on any cameras. Eric took Rae's hand and helped her up to his apartment. Once there, Rae crumbled. Her tears fell freely, her quiet sobbing muffled by Eric's broad shoulder.
"What is it, little one?" He mumbled into her hair. "Are you hurt? Come on, talk to me. I'm right here."
Rae shook her head, trying to rid herself off the violent images in her head. "I killed someone. I stabbed him in the chest and... I killed him." She said shakily.
Eric held her tighter, smoothing her hair. "It will be okay. I promise it will. You just have to remember that it was necessary. If you hadn't done it, you wouldn't be here with me right now, and then I would have had to go kill him. You did the right thing. You we're so brave. You did what you we're trained to do...tonight you we're Dauntless."
Eric kissed her forehead lightly as her tears slowed. She leaned in to him, trying hard to believe his words and banish the vile feeling in her throat. They sat like that until exhaustion overtook Rae and she fell in to a restless sleep.
Once he noticed her rhythmic, deep breaths, he carefully maneuvered them off the floor. He lay Rae across the bed, removed her shoes and jacket as well as his own and climbed in bed next to her. As he looked down at her, he decided something.
"Rae?" He whispered, his full lips lightly grazing her ear.
"Mmmm?" She mumbled sleepily.
"I want you to move in here with me. Will you?"
"Mmm." She mumbled again, nuzzling her face deeper into his shoulder.
For Eric, that was as good as a yes. He pulled her close and fell asleep himself, a hint of a smile touching the corners of his lips.
***
Rising early the next morning, Rae headed straight for the shower. She felt the burning need to rinse away yesterday's memories. She turned the heat up to where she could barely stand it. Steam filled the bathroom, and Rae wished she could drown the image of Zachariah's bleeding chest from her mind.
As the hot water ran down her body, one fuzzy memory from late last night floated into her memory. She wondered if it had been a dream...Eric couldn't possibly have asked her to live with him, could he? It had to have been a dream... Moving in together was a huge step, there's no way Eric would commit like that to a relationship.
Especially not with me. She thought.
The door opened just then, stirring Rae from her thoughts. She heard Eric shuffling around a moment when he suddenly appeared, sleepily stepping in to the shower with her. Remembering the last time they were in the shower together made her cheeks flush. She recalled the first time they were intimate, when he had unknowingly taken her virginity. She crossed her arms in front of her, overwhelmed by the emotions she felt all at once and closed her eyes.
Eric stepped close to her, pulling her into a close embrace that Rae leaned into gratefully. She breathed deeply, pressing her face firmly into his chest. When she exhaled, she felt herself relax a little. She forced all her thoughts away and focused on the way his body felt as it enveloped hers, keeping her safe.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'll be fine. I just- I feel-"
"I know." He said, taking Rae by surprise. She pulled away slightly, in order to look up at him. "It's not easy your first time. You need to try and focus on the fact that if you hadn't done what you did, YOU would be the one dead. Not him."
Rae understood he was trying to comfort her, yet instead she felt uneasy.
"My first time?" She asked him, furrowing her brow. "How many times do you forsee me needing to end someones life?"
Eric narrowed his eyes at her as she stepped away from him slightly. Sighing he replied, "I don't know Rae."
His demeanor changed as he began to shampoo his hair. He turned his back to Rae, and as the water rinsed the soap from his hair Rae watched as it ran down his muscular back. Taking a deep breath, she tried to fight the sick feeling rising up in her throat.
"How many people have you killed?"
The moment the words left her lips, she wished she could take them back. Biting her tongue, she nervously glanced up to Eric, who still had his back to her. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that they were still naked, and the water's heat was running out, adding to the now- tense situation.
Eric bent to shut off the water, and without looking at Rae he grabbed a towel and exited the shower. Without another word to her, he exited the bathroom entirely. Rae dropped her head to her hands, regretting her big mouth. It couldn't be any later than 9am and she had already pissed him off.
She toweled off slowly, killing time before she had to face Eric again. Tying up her hair to temporarily contain it, Rae wrapped her body in her towel and followed Eric out of the bathroom.
She found him in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of the fresh brewed coffee he'd just prepared. He sighed loudly as she approached, grabbing herself a cup as well.
He's really mad. She thought to herself.
He began to walk out of the kitchen when she called his name.
"Eric," he paused but didn't turn. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you-"
"You didn't fucking hurt me." He suddenly snapped. Rae didn't speak and Eric continued. "You pissed me the fuck off!" He was yelling now and Rae took a step back.
"What does it matter how many? I do my JOB, Rae. We- and that means you too- are Dauntless soldiers. You think we trained you to shoot and throw knives just for fun? Last night, you FINALLY seemed to remember who you chose to become. You finally became the Dauntless soldier you trained so hard to be. Why does that bother you so bad? Being who you chose to be, being someone like me?"
Rae stood against the counter, clutching her coffee tightly in her hand. She was speechless. Unable to form words, she stared blankly up at him until he spoke again.
"11. I've killed 11 people. I'll kill 11 more if that's what my job requires of me. Does that make you happy? Is that what you wanted to hear?!"
Rae didn't realize her eyes had filled with tears until they began streaming suddenly down her cheeks. She didn't know what to say. Eric's eyes softened just a little, before he set his coffee cup on the counter and left the apartment.
***
"What are you going to do now?" asked Deidra. Rae had given up sitting around her apartment and came to visit her best friend. She had told Deidra most of what had been said. She had to adjust her story quite a bit so as not to let on to the events of the previous night.
"I don't know." She replied with a deep sigh. "He's never been this angry with me before...at least not since we've been, you know, together. I suppose I'll just stick to my own apartment and hope he cools off soon. He was right after all. I'm Dauntless. I need to remember that."
Deidra just nodded sympathetically, then suggested they hit the training room.
"Beating some of your frustration out may do you some good."
Rae tentatively agreed, and together they spent most of the afternoon working out. Rae didn't tell Deidra, but she was right. Using the training room did help her feel a little better.
***
That evening after dinner, Rae trudged heavily back to her apartment. When she slid the key in to the lock, she was surprised to find that it didn't turn. She tried again, harder this time, but it wouldn't budge. Sighing, she hoped the apartments manager was still at his office. Just as she turned to head back down the hallway, the door to Eric's apartment opened. Rae stopped as she saw the apartment manager exit Eric's apartment with a nod and brushed passed her to exit the hallway. Eric caught sight of Rae standing there and nodded his head toward his apartment, indicating that he wanted her to come inside.
She gasped as she entered, as she caught sight of all of her stuff piled in the middle of Eric's living room floor. She looked to him, confused.
"You would wait to come home until after all the heavy lifting is already done. You're welcome." He said, his arms folded across his massive chest.
"I-I uh, I don't understand. What happened to my apartment?"
"Do you not remember me asking you last night to come and live here with me? I thought you agreed."
"Oh."
"You seem disappointed. Well if I was mistaken I can call Dan back here and you can get your stuff moved back-"
"Eric." Rae stopped him mid-stride toward the door. Reaching out and placing her small hand on his swollen bicep, she spoke softly,
"I'm so happy you want me to live here with you. I absolutely want to. I just didn't think you still wanted me to..after...our argument. You were right."
Eric visibly relaxed, and closed the gap between them. Placing his hands on either side of her head he looked her deep in the eye.
"Don't misunderstand my feelings for you Rae. I've never once told someone I love them. You're going to have to do a lot worse than that to get rid of me now. I love you and I want to be with you every single day. Even the days you piss me off...which is probably going to be most days. I don't care. I'm not letting go of this if you don't."
Tears fell freely from Rae's eyes, yet she smiled. She didn't reply because she didn't know how to explain her love for him in words. Thankfully he seemed to understand that, and simply held his arms open for Rae to fall in to. He carried her to what was now both of their room, and they stayed awake well into the morning hours making up from that morning's fight in the best way they knew how.

Sorry about the delay on the updates guys. Morning sickness is no joke! I'll try my hardest to get the chapters up faster! Comment, vote, tell me what you think!