Caught Up, In Neverland [JM]

[Chapter 10- Fought & Lost]

[Chapter 10- Fought & Lost]

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Voices.

That's all he ever hears now. Voices telling him to do terrible things.

But then, there are voices that tell him to do good things. Sadly, though, his frightful voices tell him to do the first; telling him to do drugs and take more than what he needs.

Then he has those thoughts that try to constrict him- telling him he's worthless and shouldn't be apart of this world anymore. It's sad to say that his thoughts are the ones that are hurting him.

It just goes to show that your biggest enemy, is yourself.

Take a few more... it won't hurt you-

"Shut up!!!" He yells at himself while staring into the filthy mirror. His eyes look wild and scared as his hands tremble across the reflecting glass, hovering over his own reflection.

You're worthless.

You're a terrible human being.

Stop smiling all the time and show your true feelings.

"Please... Stop" He says to only himself and his bottom lip trembles as he continues to stare at his sickly form. Murderous thoughts echo into his head and he raises his hand, opening the mirrored cabinet to get to his bottles upon bottles of pills.

Take one...

Obediently, he unscrews the cap and tilts the bottle, pouring out a medium sized white capsule. He's about to tilt his head back to pop the pill into his mouth when another thought pierces his mind.

Take another..

His eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head, going against his thoughts wishes. He tries to take the one capsule again when his inside voice yells a little louder to take another pill.

Obliging only because his head is beginning to pound against his skull, he extends his hand back to the front and tilts the bottle over it, another white capsule falling next to the first.

"Happy now?" He mutters to himself as looks at the two capsules sitting at the palm of his hand. He begins to notice his hands trembling as more voices yell into head.

MORE! POUR MORE!!

With no fighting spirit, he tilts the bottle again and shakes it- pouring out multiple capsules onto his no longer trembling hands. He watches blankly as some pills slip through his fingers and he imagines them as his friends...

His friends... slowly slipping through his fingers just like these deadly and sickly pills...

"I need them..." He mutters as he tilts his head back, the pills sliding from his hand and into his mouth. He easily swallows them with a little choke and turns on the faucet of the sink that sits below the mirrored cabinet. The water flows from the faucet gently and he places his hands underneath it, pooling the cool water into his palm and bringing his hand to his lips to drink the liquid.

Gasping for air when he finishes drinking the water, he shakily turns the knob to turn off the water and puts away the almost empty bottle into its cabinet. A sigh escapes his lips as he walks away from the sink and mirror, not even bothering to close it.

"My lost friends... wait for me", he states numbly and he slowly walks out of the bathroom and towards the front door of his once shared apartment. He pulls down the sleeves of his gray jacket over his hands as he exits through the door, his eyes still showing no emotion.