Prince | phan (COMPLETE)

XIV

I was at the ball. Somehow I had managed to get out of bed, Dan's side went colder quicker than I had hoped but his body was still imprinted in the mattress. The groves of Dan's body were somehow comforting, even if it wasn't the real thing.

I felt bad. I shouldn't have ended things with Dan the way I had done. But now he was gone and he probably wouldn't talk to me again. As much as that hurt, I knew it was for the best. I sighed and felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned and was greeted by Ella, it was nice to see her again but I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to escape this ball and escape from her. Ella was lovely but I didn't want to marry her! I didn't want to start a family with her, I just wanted Dan.

"Are you okay?" She asked as we made our way to the dance floor.
"Yeah," I stated simply. I wasn't in the most talkative mood after what had happened and Ella wasn't helping. Her hands around my neck just made me miss Dan's touch that much more. Dan's warmth felt so much different than Ella's. I felt more secure, warmer, weightless around Dan. With Ella, I was just a prince, with Dan, I was Phil. I liked being Phil. I wasn't just a prince, I wasn't Philip, and only Dan seemed to realise that.
"You seem upset?" Ella told me as we swayed to the beat of the music.
"I'm fine," I reassured her. Although that was clearly a lie.
"Okay..." She trailed off and bit her lip.
"You don't believe me?" I asked. Not because I wanted an answer but because I felt like she wanted to say more.
"Not really princ-Philip," she corrected herself but the fact she nearly called me 'Prince' made my heart deflate.
"Its just..." I trailed off.
"Running a country is hard?" She suggested.
"Exactly!" I told her, which was true but it wasn't why I was upset today. It wasn't because running a country was hard, it was because being the person who runs the country is hard. "I wish I didn't have to..." leave Dan, become King.
"You have everything you want, what could be wrong?" She asked me with a frown.

My entire life I've gotten everything I've wanted but nothing I needed and I thought when I got older things would be different. I've gotten what I've wanted, I've wanted to fit in with my family and become king... but what I need? I need Dan. I don't need to be king, I didn't ask to be born into this life just like I never asked to love Dan... but here we are.
"Nothing, I'm just being silly." I shook off the conversation and tried to concentrate on the music rather than the gentle feeling of Ella's hands on my neck. If I tried hard enough I could almost pretend Dan was holding me.
"You don't like me, do you?" Ella asked and I didn't dare tell her the truth, but I also didn't want to lie so I stayed silent. "I like you a lot but if you're not happy with me there are others out there for you." I looked down at her, wondering how she could be so understanding when she didn't know what I was going through.
"You're so... amazing, Ella, you truly are and it's not that I don't like you its just-"
"-You hardly know me?" I nodded. "And that's okay. You don't need to rush, as long as your parents think you have a partner they're likely to leave you be." She shrugged like it was simple, like she had been planning this her entire life and had been trying to slip it into the conversation for the entire song.
"Wow." I paused. "You're really smart you know."
"Thank you." She giggled. "My parents didn't send me to summer camp for nothing."
She was smiling but it seemed almost forced, I sighed.
"I wish I was in love with you."
"But you're not," she stated. She paused, bit her lip, and then began to speak, "you can't force love Philip, you feel it."
"Its as simple as that?" I wondered.

The love I felt for Ella was different to the love I felt for Dan. I physically felt something with Dan, I couldn't get him out of my head but Ella... I enjoyed her company and that was it. Maybe the feeling of love was simple, even if the execution of love is not.
"As simple as that." She nodded.
"You learn about love at your summer camp too?" I asked.
"No, I learnt about it a little closer to home." She looked down at the floor as she blushed deeply.

~

The ball had ended, Ella was to come to tea tomorrow night to meet my parents. I would have to explain my situation to her, it was only right. Although, my relationship (if you can call it that) with Dan had ended for good now and no amount of understanding from Ella would bring us back together. I would just have to make my piece and marry someone I could only ever love platonically.

The doors to the ball opened and in walked the servants. They all stopped and stared at me like I was a hungry wolf about to eat them all.
"Sorry Prince Philip, we thought you had already left," a servant told me and bowed.
"Don't." I stopped him and he recoiled from the bow, I didn't like that anymore. I just wanted to be normal for once.
"Would you like us to come back?" Another asked.
"No," I told them. "You're alright to do what you do but... could I help?" They all exchanged glances, looking confused and worried all at the same time. They thought this was a prank but it wasn't. I wanted to help them.
Dan had made me realise that servants weren't just servants, they were people with personalities and hobbies and goals. I wanted to get to know some of them.
"Um... okay, follow me?" One servant stuttered, she had long blonde hair with dip-dyed tips. She led me to the food that was left over and handed me some cling film. I looked at it and wondered what to do. She showed me, "You just grab this end and roll it over the food, no, like this."

After she showed my I got into it and was doing to quickly.

"What's your name?" I asked.
"Louise," she replied and gave me a toothy smile.
"It's nice to meet you."
"As it is to meet you prince Ph-"
"Just Phil, please." I stopped her.
"Okay, Phil," she said a little unsure.
"Do you enjoy your job?" I asked her, she looked at me and frowned. "It's not a trick question," I reassured.
"Yes, I do... I mean, it pays for my house and Darcy." She told me.
"Darcy?" I questioned.
"My daughter."
"You have a daughter?" I had never thought of a servant having a family. It surprised me how naive and rude was before about how the servants lives were. I wondered if William had a family, although surely he mustn't considering he practically lived at the castle.
"She's almost five and she's quite a handful." She laughed and began to tell me the story of how shocked she was when she found out she was pregnant but also how delighted. I helped her carry the food out of the hall and she continued to chat. She was actually really chatty and bubbly.
"Is pregnancy really that bad?"
"Let me tell you this; my husband brought pizza into the hospital and I could barely eat a thing, that's how bad it was," she chuckled at my shocked expression.

Once we were done I said goodbye to Louise and told her that if she needed any more money or just wanted some company, there would always be a placement for her at the castle. She thanked me and left. Talking to Louise was nice but she was nothing compared to Dan.
It had taken me years to realise that underneath the social classes we were all the same.

An:
I'm back! whooo. I've missed writing so much but I've finally finished all of my exams and don't have to worry about revision anymore :)
More updates to come and I'm hoping to start a new story asap
- Rach x