I See You

Death

The part I find the funniest is that after I passed out from the pain, there was nothing.

I know I didn't die because I've done that before and, let me tell you, this was nothing like before.

I yawn, and stretch, opening my eyes. Usually my Dad would have woken me up by now, but he hasn't so maybe is Saturday?

The sun, normally little slivers that peak though the crevices of the blinds, is full on blinding me.

I try feeling for my covers, but soon become aware of the feeling of grass instead. My eyes snap open.

"It was a quick death," the principal says looking down at me.

What? "What are you talking about, sir?" I ask confused.

I think about the beginning of last night and groan. I'm going to be in so much trouble! Mom and Dad are going to kill me! This it sucks, I've never done anything like this before and I don't want them to be disappointed, but how could they not miss my absence at breakfast? And there's absolutely no way the principal would not tell them.

"Get them away! Farther! Give the kid some respect!" The principal yells to someone behind him angrily. Two sets of police officers push some people back.

"What?" I repeat, but he's not listening.

Shaking my head, I close my eyes, trying to rid my head of the ache.

In a hushed tone the principal says, "She's over here, she fell from the roof."

I did what? Am I hurt?

I try to stand up, but end up rolling over, into the bushes, clutching my head.

There's a slight commotion near where I was, and I pry my eyes open, slowly staggering to my feet.

The scene before me stuns me.

Mom and Dad can't kill me.

Because I'm not hurt.

I'm dead!

Lying in back of the library, on the sidewalk, is me.

I'm dead. I wish it was figurative, as I thought earlier.

If it weren't for the large spot of darkening red, I'd have given myself the benefit of the doubt.

A woman in a medical coat, followed by two men, squats next to my body. Calculating, she judges the distance between the two story building and the body... My body.

Her voice is soft as she says, "She didn't die due to the head trama."

The principal, who is now accompanied by two official- looking guys of his own, looks at her confused.

"Not the fall?"

She tucks her random strand of fallen brown hair behind her ear, "No, there's not enough blood for her to have bled out." She lightly touches my midsection before carefully lifting my shirt, just stopping just below my chest.

My midsection is black and blue in big splotches.

She feels my side, "I believe she bled out internally. Most likely broke a few ribs, and one punctured a lung, and/ or artery." She pulls my shirt back down before taking along look at my pale face. "My theory is that the head injury most likely knocked her out, and before she could wake she bled out internally."

She whispers to herself, "Too young, sweet one, you're way too young. What were you thinking? Why were you on the roof? Way too young." She frowns, looking up at the principal and other guy. "Why is a kid this young on a high school library roof?"

The principal sighs, "She's twelve, and a really smart kid. Kaitlyn Gabrielle was going to be our youngest freshman ever-"

The one of the other guys cuts in, "And from her records probably would have advanced farther fast. Let's clear the school. Send everyone home. The girl's parents are being taken to the morgue."

"Yes, Sargent Haris." Half the people in the immediate area say in unison.

Mom and Dad! Oh god! This is going to crush them!

"I'm sorry!" I shout, but no one hears me.

Within the hour everyone clears out. Students and employees go home, the police and school officials all go wherever they went (the morgue? station?), leaving me still sitting in the bushes, looking at the tarp that covers the blood.

It must be hours later when I suddenly snap into focus, my random thoughts of what being whatever I am now summing up too basically nothing.

What do ghosts do? With only the guessing of tv and movies, I conclude to stalking, mainly. Thier trapped, in the 'in-between', they can't do much.

Why did I attempt this? Why was proving them wrong so important to me?

I can't do much. I'm trapped. I'm dead.

Finally- irrationally- I decide to walk to my house. I need to see my family. I get as far as the bus loading zone when I cannot take another step forward, as if blocked by an invisible wall.

I slump to the ground. I can't get to my family, who are surely falling apart, and I'm stuck. What do I do now?

I'm trapped.

I'm dead.

The difference between then and now is the pain.

The pain is searing, as if my body itself was being lit on fire, all at once.

I haven't felt hurt in any way since immediately after I woke up after dying, but that deep ache was nothing compared to this.

I think I'm screaming, but my thoat is raw. I can barely breathe, and my jaw itself hurts from being clinched shut while I scream.

The pain cuts off so suddenly that I continue to brokenly scream for another ten seconds. My throat is constricting still, as I choke on air, trying to suck in as much as possible.

As my breathing is still strained, cheat still heaving, I wait a while to try anything, hesitant in case the pain attacks again.

When I finally open my eyes, there is one thing I know in absolute certainty- something I can't explain how I know, just that I do- and my whole world changes again.