All You Need Is Love: A Harry Styles/One Direction Fanfiction

Chapter 80

Fame.

The literal definition is to be known or talked about by a large number of people.

But what is the hidden definition?

To define what fame really is, through all of the benefits and limitations, is like trying to define our very own existence.

Fame is overrated.

Fame has changed my life so drastically, and it has changed the person who I am, too. It changed me to a person who was so crazed and bizarre, yet unable to accept that fact, as fame itself had sucked me in.

But I am grateful for fame.

Because it has brought me incredible opportunities that I never would have thought to be imaginable, and it also brought me her.

Every time I think of my life before fame, I wonder who I would have grown up to be, and who I would have fallen in love with. I can't imagine falling in love with someone who wasn't her. The blatant thought itself is maddening to me. Because she has helped to shape me into the person who I am today. Without her, I'm not completely myself.

Carly Gilbert is the one person in my life who utterly knows me. And I know her. We love one another. More than life itself. And with love being such a powerful, sensational thing, I, myself, don't even know what the real definition of it is. I just know that what I feel towards Carly Gilbert is love. And I will never stop loving her, no matter what happens.

I consider myself to be blessed with the life I have been given: my family, my friends, my rising career, and my love. Life itself is such an extraordinary thing that we must treasure every individual little thing surrounding us. Nobody makes it out of it alive, so although we live counting down the days and the time that we have left, it only means that we should appreciate things even more.

And that's the reason why I've appreciated the past seventeen days; I want to make the most of the time that I have left.

The time that I have left...with Carly. Because although I keep telling myself that she's going to pull through, and that she's going to be okay, I really don't know. Life can often surprise you, and the most irritating thing about life is that you never know when it is going to end. I may have years left with Carly, but I also may have hours, minutes, or seconds. So I make the most of it. Every day.

Today is December 20th. A year since Carly and I were on that bridge in London, and a year since we had first confessed our feelings for one another. But seventeen days since it had happened. Seventeen days since Carly had gone into a coma. And still, there is no change.

I had been instructed by Kristen and Gab to go back to the apartment for an hour, to shower and get a few changes of clothes. I had finally given in after minutes of deliberating and now I am stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. As I stared into my reflection I looked closely at the person staring back at me. He was tired. Bags were forming under his eyes, though he didn’t care. He was also desperate. Desperate to get back to her, desperate to know if there was any change. Though deep down, he knew that there wasn’t. He didn’t know how long this would go on for, but he would never leave her, ever. He would never let go.

I changed into black jeans and a white tee shirt, and picked up the jewellery lying on the sink. I slid the two links bracelets onto my wrist, and then clasped the dog collar containing two promise rings around my neck. The hospital wouldn’t allow Carly to wear any, and so I had been wearing them every single day. I then pulled a black beanie over my head to cascade my curls, and sighed to myself before exiting the room, and the apartment, too.

It was five days until Christmas, and New York was completely hectic. I made my way down a pretty deserted road and was thankful when an empty taxi stopped beside me. I jumped inside and quickly told the driver where I was heading, and he didn’t question my status, which I was thankful for. I was so used to having bodyguards surrounding me constantly, but now, it was just me. I had told them that I didn’t want any, and after what I was going through, management hadn’t brought the subject further. My only priority right now was Carly, and in looking after her, I was a free man, surrounded by just my own deep thoughts. I didn’t really know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.