All You Need Is Love: A Harry Styles/One Direction Fanfiction

Chapter 26

'It's like you're screaming...and no one can hear. 

You almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important, that without them...you feel like nothing. 

No one will ever understand how much it hurts. 

You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. 

And when it's over, and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back...so that you could have the good...'

***

"Thank you London!" they all cried together and I felt the whole area shake with excitement and erupt with screams. I looked next to me at Kris, who was jumping up and down, her hands gripping tightly around the barrier. I looked down towards my own hands, finding them in the same position as hers. One Direction's support act, Boyce avenue, ran off stage and the screaming slowly calmed down. The huge, bright lights reappeared above us and I looked behind me, my eyes lingering across the crowded floor area and the seated tiers at the side of me. The atmosphere inside here was just incredible, I just knew that the moment one direction stepped on stage it would explode like a bomb.

"How amazing is this?!" Gab squealed with glee.

"I can't even cope!" Soph teared her eyes away from her camera and smiled brightly.

"I just wish we had some drinks, I feel like my throats about to close up," I moaned, pulling the collar of my blue blouse as far away from my neck as it would go. We were so crowded right now, girls were trying to push their way to the front so I often felt myself being flung against the thick, metal bar in front of me. I was going to have a lot of bruises.

I suddenly felt the small, tingly vibrate of my phone against me, so reached down to my bag and slowly fetched it out. It was a BBM message. From Harry. After seeing his name at the top of the chat, I automatically bent down, shielding my phone so that no one could see. This would be the worst of places for people to see that I had Harry Styles on BBM. My eyes quickly found their way back to my phone and I smiled as I scanned over the message.

- Are you here? :) .xx

I began to reply straight away.

- Yep :) ,xx

- Where about? I'll wave when we come on stage :D .xx

- Oh you won't miss me. We're standing at the very front ;D ,xx

- Standing? At the front? Seriously Car? Haha! .xx

- I have been camping out for over 50 hours, you owe me! ,xx

- 50 hours?! .xx

- Gab's idea. Is that creepy? :S ,xx

- No, it's cute. See you in a minute .xx

I read over the last message a few times, though my eyes only stayed on the word 'cute'. Cute? Me? Harry calling me cute? Harry FLIRTING!? Haha, oh right - face reality. Not a chance. I put my phone back in my bag and looked behind me, smiling at a girl who was dancing to the background music. All of a sudden the lights blackened out along with my vision, and all I could hear were the screams. I joined in of course, screaming at the top of my lungs with all the other dedicated directioners, feeling part of the 1D family. I just loved this fandom! My eyes were glued to the stage and I was jumping up and down with Gab. Kris and Soph were screaming their heads off too. All of a sudden the huge black curtain fell down to reveal the stage, bold, black letters written on the screen saying 'One Direction'. The famous orange camper-van sat in the corner. Clapping and cheering began and all at once the whole theatre was calling for them.

"One Direction! One Direction! One Direction!" I joined in with everyone and the music began. I saw the five familiar bodies run onto the darkened stage and as soon as the bright lights appeared, they began to sing.

"We've got a bit of love hate, take me to the edge then you hit the breaks..." Liam sung and Gab started swirling beside me. I know she couldn't say it, but I knew why. Because that was her boyfriend. On tour, singing to thousands of people. She was so lucky.

"We're like na na na!" they all came running forward, and I looked up as Harry stopped right in front of us. Fans around us were screaming like crazy and I guess you could say it would look weird if we didn't so we began to fangirl...a lot. I noticed Harry glance down in our direction and when his eyes found us a huge cheeky grin spread across his face and he shook his head, laughing slightly as his curls bounced perfectly. I grinned to myself too, and as the song finished the cheers only got louder.

"Hello London!" Zayn shouted and everyone screamed back. They all just stood there for a moment, looking around and seeming bewildered at how many of us were here. Did they really not know how many girls loved them?

"Wow, saved the best ‘til last, as they say," Liam laughed.

"This is for all of you, without you we wouldnt be here, so thank you so much. We love you!" Niall's adorable, Irish accent chirped and they began to run through their songs. I took hold of my huge Nikon camera sitting around my neck and concentrated, taking my time and smiling at each amazing photo that I took. This was just...wow. I was so happy right now.

***

"Now this has been my favourite part of the tour..." Harry began. "It's reading out some of your tweets!"

"Let's see what they are then..." Zayn trailed off after the screams calmed down slightly. They all turned to face he huge screen behind them and tweets started appearing.

'Show us the fresh prince of bel air rap boys!'

'Let us do the inbetweeners dance with you!'

'ZAYN Y U SO FIT?!'

'Harry, you can tell us - who's your mystery girl? We all want to know! Is she here tonight?' I was laughing so hard but when this tweet appeared I just stopped. So did the audience. It suddenly just went quiet, like everyone was eager for Harry to answer. He looked around at everyone, avoiding looking down towards me, then he began to laugh. He ran over to Louis and threw his arm around him, laughing as he spoke.

"Come on, guys! You know I only have love for Louis," he grinned and everyone laughed. He had avoided that, which was good.

"Thanks for your tweets guys! Here it is, what makes you beautiful!" They all ran forward, jumping to the beat of the song, the crowd jumping along with them.

"Baby you light up my world like nobody else!" they sung perfectly. I turned to face Kris who started dancing with me. This was so amazing, the excitement and energy all around us was just unbelievable. The boys started the second chorus and we all sung along with them, clearly showing our awful concert singing.

"Let's clap London!" Harry laughed, and then it happened.

"Na na na na na na na naaaa na!"

All of a sudden a huge force pushed me forward, and my eyes widened with fear. I snapped my head around to look behind me. Oh god, everyone was pushing. The whole standing crowd was pushing forward, and I was in the worst place possible for it. They carried on pushing as everyone else clapped, and then everything seemed to go in slow motion. I looked over at Kristen, Gabby and Sophie who were smiling brightly, clapping and jumping with the crowd. How could they not feel it? Feel the sharp, ragged pain? The crowd carried on pushing and I felt myself being pressed right against the barrier. Whoa, that seriously hurt like hell. The barrier locked itself against the top of my ribs and I screamed, feeling the unbearable pain sear through me. Why wouldn't they just stop? I tried to scream again, but nothing came this time. Nothing. No air. I kept trying, kept trying to push myself away but nothing would work; I was the victim in this crowd. I couldn't breathe. The crowd kept pushing forward and I felt myself being pressed even further into the black, metal barrier, if that was even possible. I shut my eyes tightly, praying this horrible deathly feeling would go away but it didn't. Instead it got worse. I opened my eyes and felt the bright lights from the stage reflect into my blurry vision. I clawed beside me, praying that someone, anyone, would notice what was happening. I felt the crowd push forward one last time, and as they did I felt my heart slow down. I let out a piercing scream as my heart struggled for air and finally gave in. I closed my eyes, letting myself fall and feel the shallow blackness take over me.

***
“Let’s clap London!” I called as the na’s began. I was laughing uncontrollably, smiling brightly at the excitement and atmosphere in front of me when I suddenly heard a scream. I know, there were thousands of girls screaming in front of me but this was different...it sounded familiar somehow. I looked down towards the standing area and my eyes skimmed over the crowd. I looked at all the girls pushing forward wildly and then noticed a pattern: they were all pushing forward together. My eyes travelled to the front of the standing and everyone seemed fine. Wait, no. Something was wrong. I squinted my eyes and all of a sudden it almost seemed as though time froze around me, and all I could hear was her. Her screaming and gasping for breath. Her own heartbeat slowing down. Her own hands grasping less and less at the steel bar in front of her. Her own body failing and giving in. Her. CARLY. She clasped for life at the barrier and all at once she fell down, becoming a lifeless shadow at the front of the crowd. My head was screaming things at me, almost showing everything in perspective right in front of my eyes. The instrumental stopped and so did the crowd. It was my solo.

“Harry – sing!” Lou hissed in my ear. I couldn’t. I couldn’t keep my eyes from her. I couldn’t just stand here! What the hell was I doing just standing here!? All the lads were screaming at me, though I completely ignored them. I finally faced what had been right in front of my eyes for the past four months. I dropped my mike and ran forward. I didn’t even care what the fans made of it, or the press. I could just see Carly laying there, no one noticing her. I jumped off the stage and ran over to the barrier she was laying under.

“OH MY GOD! HARRY!” everyone began to scream around me. Bright flashes from cameras snapped and started to blur my vision. I didn’t care. I reached over the barrier.

“Harry?! What are you doing-” Kristen began but stopped when she followed where my hands were heading. “-Oh my god, Car!!!” 

I didn’t reply. I’d gone into shock, but that didn’t stop me. I bent my arms as low as they would go and sighed with relief when they tightly managed to grasp around Carly’s small waist. I lifted her up, carrying her in my arms. Camera’s were still flashing in my face so I turned away. I could see Gab, Kris and was it Sophie? - screaming and crying. I felt something pull me and Carly back so looked up to see a stern security guard hovering over me.

“Give her to me,” he ordered, pointing to Carly then nodding in the direction of the stage as if that was where I should return to. I shook my head and shoved past him.

“No!” he tried to grab my blazer, though I forcefully pulled away.

“Don’t even try to touch her,” I growled, running past him and off the stage. I could hear footsteps behind me, but I didn’t look. Instead I looked ahead, praying there was someone around here that could just...help her. SAVE HER.

“Where’s the first aid?!” I screamed throughout the halls.

“SOMEONE HELP HER NOW!!!”

“HELP ME!!!”

***

It’s like you’re screaming...and no one can hear.

***

I turned around, finding several first aiders sprinting for gold up to me.

“Hurry up, this way...” a girl at the front ordered me and I ran along with her, looking down into Carly’s perfect, pale face.

“Please save her,” I whispered. “Please. She’s...important.”

***

'It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear. 

You almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important, that without them...you feel like nothing. 

No one will ever understand how much it hurts. 

You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. 

And when it's over, and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back...so that you could have the good...'

***

“In here!”

***

Hearts failing.

***

“Pass her over Harry!”

***

Lungs failing.

***

“No!”

***

Body failing.

***

“Put her here!”

***

Giving up.

***

“Where?!”

“The bed!”

***

Silence.

***

“Stand over there!”

“Let me help!”

“You can't!”

***

Painful forces.

***

“Do you have to do that?!”

“We have no other choice!”

***

Resuscitation.

***

“Hurry!”

“Help her!”

*** 

Falling.

***

“Where's the ambulance? We don't have enough equipment here!”

***

Closing in.

***

“Why are they taking so long!?”

***

Hoping.

***

“SAVE HER!!!”

***

Gone.

***

They turned in my direction, guilt and dread seeping across their faces. I felt the tears form in my eyes. I let them fall freely to the ground, let them take over me. I dropped to the floor, burying my face in my hands. I ran my fingers through my curls, gripping at them tighter and tighter as the fear and anxiety took control. I looked up through watery, bloodshot eyes and shook my head at the first aider standing above me. She slowly closed her eyes and hung her face.

“I...I don't know what else we can do.”

No.

***

‘If we could only have this life for one more day...if we could only turn back time...’

***