Chapter 9 - AZ = Z (÷ Al) - Ch + A

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Chapter 9 - AZ = Z (÷ Al) - Ch + A




Alex and I weren't talking. Not that I'd actually tried to contact him after yesterday's disastrous night, but I was adamant. He was in the wrong. He should call first.

But he didn't. And I couldn't help but wonder if he ever would.

It was almost 11 in the morning and I sat anxiously on the edge of my bed in deep thought. I twiddled my fingers and picked at my nails on my bare lap subconsciously. Dan, Amir, Alex, Chanel and I had been planning to go to the coast for the weekend and the bank holiday Monday but I had no idea where I stood. Alex was going to drive us all there but given the situation-Were we even going? Would Alex back out? Would Chanel and Alex go without me?

Amir had rang first. Well, Amir's father. Apparently, Amir had returned home, way after midnight completely wasted much to the disgust and shame of his Islamic father. Amir was now banned from leaving his house, let alone going on a weekend away with his friends. It had been hard enough persuading his father to let him go in the first place.

Dan rang soon after. Unfortunately, his younger brother had caught chicken pox and he had no choice but to stay at home and look after him while his mother worked. Dan did seem bitter and disappointed but sounded significantly happier after I told him that Amir wasn't coming either.

I was seriously doubting whether there was even going to be a trip.

Countless times I had tried to ring Chanel but she wouldn't answer. Maybe she was afraid of what I'd say to her after her little slip up yesterday? Maybe she was drunk in a stranger's bed? I could only speculate as my phone sat silent, almost mocking me. The silent phone upset me more than it should of.

Just while I was considering visiting Chanel and braving the judgemental wrath of her mother a couple of blocks away, my phone started to ring. I grabbed at it, hoping against hope it was Alex. But it wasn't. It was Chanel. I blinked rapidly and cleared my suddenly dry throat.

"Chanel?" I said.

"Stop talking so loud!" she hissed. "I've got a splitting headache."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"You shouldn't have drunk so much then!" I hissed back. I imagined her wincing and pulling a face childishly. "And don't pull that face."

"How did you-"She started incredulously. "Never mind. I'm sorry but I can't make it to the thingy. I came home last night and puked all over my Mum's Prada blouse. Not to mention the carpet." She added as an afterthought. "It was so bad. I thought she was going to kick me out the house for a second. Thank god my Dad decided to grow some balls for the first time ever." She sounded bitter. I had a feeling she was in a very bad mood. Chanel loved her Dad to pieces. "You don't understand Zoe." I could imagine Chanel shaking her head then wincing because of her terrible hangover. "She went crazy. It was so bad. I'm grounded so she won't let me go." She stopped and delivered the next line in an even quieter whisper. "And the crazy thing is, she wasn't even really bothered about the whole getting drunk thing. She's punishing me because of her damn blouse!" She sounded disbelieving. I had already suspected as much. I wasn't particularly fond of Chanel's' mother.

I sighed loudly. "Dan and Amir aren't coming either. Amir's pretty much in the same situation as you and Dan has to look after his little brother. He's got the chicken pox." I explained, groaning a little. The whole thing was rapidly turning into a disaster.

"Chanel, do me a favour and ring Alex and tell him the trip's off." I pleaded the begging tone apparent in my voice.

Chanel hissed. "I can't! I'm not even meant to be talking to you right now. If my Mum catch-"

"Please Chanel! I can't talk to him after yesterday!" I tried to convey my urgency through the phone by sheer willpower.

Chanel's voice was torn between confusion and interest. "Why, what happened yesterday?"

I groaned audibly, feeling a spark of intense anger towards Chanel, and then suddenly feeling guilty. I couldn't blame Chanel for what happened yesterday. That wouldn't be fair. However, I still wanted her to feel at least a little guilty over the whole debacle.

"Trust you not to remember." I muttered under my breath.

"Oi, I heard that!" She cried theatrically, but quickly lowered her voice again.

I rolled my eyes again. "Look, Alex and I got into a fight and we're not ... we're not talking to each other at the moment. " I finished stiffly.

"Well, all the more reason to go." She stated briskly as if that was the end of that. "It'll only be you and Alex. You can sort it out there. With only the two of you, you'll have to-

"I don't have to do anything. He hasn't even tried to ring me or said sorry!" I countered shrilly.

Chanel cut me off. "Well you ring him and apologise!" She snapped forcefully.

"No!" I yelled back indignantly. "No. I won't."

I heard Chanel breathing heavily and slowly through her end, probably doing one of her many breathing exercises. "Stop being so damn stubborn and be the bigger person. Whatever it was, it can't have been-"

I snapped, knowing how her sentence would end. "It was that bad actually, so don't you patronise me. As it so happens, you were the one that couldn't keep your trap shut! But of course, you conveniently 'forget' the whole incident, leaving everyone else to pick up your mess. So thanks a lot Chanel, thanks for nothing!"

And then she put the phone down on me.

I was seething. Yes, I knew I was stubborn but the hurt and anger towards both Alex and Chanel had mounted and mounted, finally bursting out in the worst possible way.

Only after I'd threw the phone back down, did I realise, I'd pushed away two of my closest friends, in the space of 12 hours.

***

I did try to ring Chanel back but she wouldn't answer. I preferred to believe her Mum was stopping her from answering but no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I knew that wasn't the case. I tried not to dwell on the matter. Tried.

Instead, I decided to take Chanel's advice and 'be the bigger person'. To a certain extent anyway. I put my phone back down on my bedside table and pulled on my converses, intending to walk to Alex'. It would be better face to face, I convinced myself. Or worse, a snide voice in my brain commented.

I grabbed my small tartan wheelie suitcase and clunked it downstairs, taking particular care to write a carefully phrased note to my Dad. I left my phone number, Alex' phone number and the hotel's phone number and a reassuring note that I'd be fine. Dad had an important meeting at his school. Exiting the house and double-checking the locked door, I walked out through the gate and turned left.

I opted to go down a dingy alleyway that served as a shortcut seeing as it was a bright sunny morning and unlikely for me to get mugged or murdered. I saw Noddy, my neighbour's cat and I petted her a little while she wove her body around my legs, purring. She followed me for a while, batting at my wheelie suitcase, and then slunk off, jumping magnificently on to a 6 foot wall.

It didn't take me long and I knocked hesitantly on the white wooden door after giving myself a bit of a pep talk. I steeled myself and put on a hard exterior while I was waiting, just in case I ended up sweating through my eyes or something.

After a short while, I saw Helen's blurred figure, bob down the hallway, growing bigger with every step. Smiling brightly, she opened the door without hesitating and beckoned me inside.

"You ok, Zoe dear?" She asked casually, in her motherly tone. I had known her for as long as I had known Alex, which was saying something. She collected the post after closing the door and flicked through the letters, skimming over each one quickly. She stopped when she got to a posted wedding magazine and although she smiled wider than I'd ever seen her do so before, I knew she was resisting the urge to jump up and down.

"I'm good thanks." I replied, probably the most common lie in the whole of history. "Is Alex here?" I asked, slightly nervous.

"Alex?" She said vaguely. She still seemed to be dazzled by the magazine. "He just left a couple of minutes ago. He's going to that weekend trip-"She looked up suddenly. "I'm sure you were going dear?" She said, confused.

My heart sank. The hard exterior hadn't worked.

"Oh. Did- did he say anything about me?" My voice didn't sound much like my own. It seemed Helen had noticed and smiled kindly albeit with pity. It made me feel worse, wanting her to hug me and comfort me as if I was her daughter.

"I'm sorry dear. He's been in a terrible mood all day. He wasn't speaking much." She said, thinking it would reassure me. It only did the opposite.

My head was whirring rapidly. Had Alex just left me? Without calling or even leaving a message with his Mum? Zoomed away by himself? I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. He wouldn't do that... Would he?

The truth was, I didn't know. He'd called me a whore the day before and lashed out in a way I'd never think he was capable of. I saw a side to him I'd never seen before and I wondered if I was really that naive. Although I was starting to doubt Alex, a part of me believed he hadn't left me. It wasn't a big part of me but it defied logic and reasoning and continued to exist. That part of me was small but it was there.

I cleared my throat, trying to act nonchalant about it all. "Oh you know Alex. He probably forgot and thought I was going with Chanel." I forced out in an overly cheerful tone. We both knew I was lying. Alex never forgot or misplaced a pen, let alone a best friend. Then again, Alex didn't go round accusing his friends of sleeping around. I squashed the little niggling voice immediately.

I swallowed, not quenching the apple sized lump in my throat. How was it that my mouth could be so dry but there was an excess of saliva I had to keep swallowing?

I felt horribly self-conscious, twiddling with my stupid tartan suitcase, Helen so obviously feeling nothing but pity for me.

"Aiden wouldn't mind if you went with him. He's going too." She said brightly. I looked up almost cricking my neck.

"I don't know why the boys didn't just go together." She said shaking her head as if it was a mystery she'd never solve.

Just then, Aiden appeared walking out of the kitchen, munching on a buttered piece of toast and tousling his dark raven hair. I tried to keep my face straight. I tried to refuse.

"Helen, really it's no big deal. Aiden doesn't-" I started hurriedly.

Neither really worked.

"Nonsense. You wouldn't mind, would you Aiden?" She was smiling up at Aiden.

Aiden glanced up absent-mindedly, only to lock his storm like eyes into my wide dark green ones. He smirked, taking another bite of his toast.

"It would be my pleasure."

***

SURPRISE CHAPTER! Hehe.

Thank you for reading guys, I really appreciate it. I love all of you that are actually sticking with me and reading every chapter. It means a lot. So I thought I would give you a little something.

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