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Chapter 18- "What The F*ck Is She Playing at?!"

Chapter 18- "What The F*ck Is She Playing At?!"


Aidens' POV

Why wouldn't it stay flat?!

There I was, staring demonically in the mirror, at a piece of black hair that refused to lie flat. I had been standing there for a good 10 minutes, trying to slick it back with wax, gel, hair straighteners, and I had even tried a cold spoon.

It just wouldn't stay flat.

And I needed my hair to look half decent today. I couldn't have it all over the place like I usually did. I needed to impress her.

I sighed. What was I even doing? Seriously?

It was 6.30 on a Tuesday morning and I had been awake for the past half hour, all to try and impress a girl. A girl!

If it wasn't for her, I would have been asleep for another 2 hours. As I scowled at my reflection in the mirror, thinking about the lost hours that could have been better spent, my mind wandered to something else completely. My expression softened slightly and I felt my face warm a little. And then I got back to forcing my hair down.

I was planning to pick her up around 8, take her to school, maybe get her late, (just to piss her off), then maybe take her home... Of course I would have to use my Dad's car. (Mine was still abandoned somewhere in Wales.)

"For fucks sake, STOP STICKING UP!"

Just then, the door to the far left opened wide and there stood Alexander. I had the decency to feel a little guilty at the sight of him. I had, after all, just kissed the girl he had been pining over for the past God knows how many years.

"Thank God you're talking about your hair." Alexander muttered as soon as he got over the shock of seeing me up so early.

I didn't reply, just turned back to the mirror. Alexander walked over to me and casually shoved me away and opened the mirror cabinet. He reached in, grabbed a small blue tub and handed it to me.

"Stick that on. It should help."

I took the small tub, unscrewed it and worked some of the smooth, white lotion onto my hair. To my surprise, it worked instantly and my hair didn't spring back up again. Then I felt like a right dickhead. Alexander seemed like a decent guy and then there was me, trying to steal Zoe from right under his nose.

"Is it a girl?"

Whether Alexander used the exact same wording as me from when I had asked him the same question a couple of weeks ago deliberately, I wasn't sure. One thing I was sure about though, I didn't like it. It made me think about him and Zoe. He obviously fancied the pants off of her but what about her? What was there relationship even like? Best friends, Zoe had said. But what if Zoe just happened to like Alexander? What then?

I remembered every single time she had corrected me on how it was Alex and not Alexander.

"Yes." I answered simply.

"Beverly?"

I turned to answer, confused. "Huh?"

Alexander snorted, leaning on one of the glass walls of the shower. "I've heard the rumours. You and her. Something about a closet." Alexander didn't sound judgemental. He sounded like one of the guys, lightly interested in his friends' latest hook up.

Shit. I'd forgotten about Beverly.

"Oh right. Yeah." I said vaguely.

Alexander rolled his eyes. He did it the way Zoe did it.

"Right." Alexander repeated, smirking. I realised I'd never seen him look so happy. It left me a little unsettled. Like last night when he rushed out as soon as I'd come home.

"Listen," Alex started. His voice was a lot quieter and softer and I got the impression he was going to go ahead and say something meaningful. "I wanted to thank you. For sticking with Zoe and making sure she got home safe." His eyes were locked on to mine and I knew he meant it.

My stomach clenched painfully. Why couldn't he have been a prick?

"She didn't tell me much of what happened but I know you didn't leave. And I'm grateful for that."

I nodded numbly, the guilt eating away at me. I didn't even know him so why was I feeling like this?

I forced out a reply to ease the intensity of his thank you. It was pretty overwhelming, even more so because he didn't even know how badly he would want to kill me if he knew.

"You owe me. Could argue for Britain, her."

Alexander laughed in a way that was almost self-indulgent.

"Tell me about it. I saw her yesterday and I thought she was going to bite my head off." And he laughed again.

"You saw her yesterday?" I asked, letting a little of my confusion show in my tone.

He scratched the back of his head and he flushed while smiling. I could tell the smile was purely uncontrollable. "Yeah. I went over to see her after you came back."

I stayed silent and so to fill the silence, Alexander continued albeit awkwardly.

"-talked for a bit and then asked her out." He said the last bit under his breath and my eyes almost fell out of my sockets. He didn't seem to notice however.

"You-you and her?"

Alexander flushed again and all I felt was surprise. Surprise that was quickly morphing into anger.

I managed to compose myself.

"So you finally managed to man up." I commented lightly but restrained from letting the venom seep through. Alexander was too caught up in his own fucking happiness to even notice that my expression didn't exactly match up with my voice.

He laughed and replied, "Yeah."

"Good for you Alexander." Using the full name he loathed so much, I didn't restrain myself this time and the words came out as a spit.

Alexander didn't correct me. He didn't even seem to notice. He just smiled slightly. "D'you mind leaving? I need to use the shower."

His apologetic expression and his nice guy persona only fuelled my anger because I could see how perfect he was for her. Absolutely, fucking perfect.

***

What the fuck was she playing at?!

I was fuming. So confused and angry and hurt.

Is this what she did? String a guy along then ditch him as soon as?

What was worse is that as I sat in History, the only lesson I shared with Zoe, I sat alone. There was no Zoe next to me.

So I was left alone to dwell on my own angry thoughts.

Did that kiss not mean anything?! I thought, I mean... I thought it did. She had responded, I was sure about that. It wasn't as if I forced her to kiss me back. She did that willingly. So was I just a quick horny song or did she change her mind about me? Another horrible thought popped into my head. Did she-did she kiss him after me? I imagined them in a passionate embrace, Alexander lifting her off her feet. Her wrapping her legs around his waist, still in those sodden shorts. Her torso pressed up against his and that damn purple bra right under his chin.

It seemed all too likely.

And to think. I had combed my hair for her. My expression was sour.

Fuck, was it me? Did I scare her off? I hadn't really ever had any trouble with girls before. Not that I went round and slept with any and every girl but I... I don't know. What if she didn't find me attractive? I'd never even thought about it until now. Did she think I was ugly? Or did I just not compare to Alexander?

The kiss! Was I not a good kisser? What if she thought I was a bad kisser? What if she hated every second of it?

What was she doing to me? Never before had I questioned my charm, looks or kissing abilities. Never before did a girl have me doubting-

Another horrible thought hit me from nowhere. Was she with Alexander, right now? I didn't remember seeing Alex entering school and I hadn't seen him around. Technically, I didn't usually see him around anyway. The were many separate buildings and the campus itself was huge but still, it was an all too real possibility. Was she at her house or even at mine with him? They could be in his bedroom, merely two doors away from my own room. They could be in her bedroom. With a jolt, I remembered Zoe told me her Dad was a school teacher. Meaning her house would be empty. Meaning Alexander and Zoe...

I didn't want her to be with him.

I wanted her to be with me.

I could want and want but I knew it wouldn't happen. I knew what he meant to her. The way she talked about him. The way she was when she was thinking about him. That fight that they had and how upset she was after. I gritted my teeth. That Jack or whatever. Her last boyfriend. She chose Alexander over him. What chance did I have?

Zoe wouldn't do this. This wasn't her. Maybe I hadn't known her since the first fucking day of her life like he had but I knew her enough. I'd seen her at her happiest at the lake, her angriest after we got kicked out from a car by those drunk boys, her saddest when we had to sleep on the forest floor. I knew how she would turn pink at the slightest one-second-too-long-glance. I knew how obsessed she was with Haribos. I knew how her knees would go weak when kissing and how she would have to be held up. So maybe I hadn't known her from day one. Maybe I wasn't perfect for her but I could be. I could be.

But I hadn't even got a chance. It had ended before it had even started.

***

I would confront her. I would go up to her face and ask her what sort of game she was playing. It would be the only way to put my mind at rest and stop the hurricane of emotions hurtling through me.

This was all too much for me to handle.

So as I lay on my bed, I worked up the energy to get up and make my way out.

I would've gone to Zoe's house straight after school but I had to return home and drop off the car, back to my Dad. But back at home, I decided to grab a snack and watch a bit of tv. Really, I'd just been putting off paying Zoe a visit because I didn't want to hear what I knew I already would.

Not seeing Alexander all day hadn't helped either.

I grabbed my jacket, shrugged it on and left the house quickly so as not to linger for any longer. As I stepped out from the little garden with the white fence, I readjusted my collar and turned right.

The sun was setting in great streaks of orange and pink and yet it was still early. The sky grew darker still and the very earliest of the street lamps were beginning to flicker on.

It was a short walk. Only 10 minutes or so. I had just turned into her street and walked for a couple of metres or so when I saw Alexander's car humming quietly, a little away from the curb and just outside the house of number 13.

Walking slowly but then almost tiptoeing as I edged past number 9, I neared number 7. I stopped just behind the hedge of number 9.

"...yesterday night, are you-?"

"Excited? Definitely... But, I thought...maybe we could go out next week first or...?"

"Er- I was going to suggest that."

"Saturday. I'll come pick you up at 7."

She sounded happy. So did he.

I was still angry at her, though maybe a little more hurt. I wouldn't ruin things for them though. If she was really happy, I wouldn't intervene.

And Alexander. He was perfect for her. It wouldn't be right for me to swoop in and spill my own damned feelings. I couldn't do that to him either.

Without a second thought, I turned around and walked back home.

***

THE END

JUST KIDDING. Hehe But keep reading because this is important.

Most of you guys are probably fuming right now but trust me, i know what I'm doing. 

Sort of anyway.

I was thinking that instead of uploading weekly, I should update whenever. And don't worry, I will still have a chapter at least every week. Because I write chapters in 2-3 days, that leaves me sort of waiting for Friday to update and I'd rather just upload then. So I thought I'd just upload as soon as I've finished a chapter. Are you guys ok with that? If you'd rather it stay the way it is, tell me, I won't mind or anything.

Thank you for reading and thank you for all the votes and comments! I seriously can't thank you enough! I love reading all your comments so please, go ahead and make my day!