A to Z

Chapter 23- "I'll Tell Him."

Chapter 23- "I'll Tell Him."



Before I could fully take in what had just happened, I was pushed away by Xena, rushing to Leo's aid. Alex too, rushed towards the scene, only to hold Aiden back. It would seem Alex wasn't needed, however. Aiden was already storming out. Instead, Alex reluctantly helped Xena pick Leo up. Together, they half dragged a bloody Leo out of the room.

The crowd hadn't noticed anything but a few of the guests that had stood near Leo and I were whispering worriedly. Slowly, as word got around, a wave of confusion and curiosity was falling across the entire room.

I stood there, still unable to comprehend what had just happened. It was all so fast, I couldn't even be sure if it had happened. I needed to sit down. No. I needed to find Chanel.

I scurried to the table I had been sitting at earlier and grabbed my purse. Scrabbling to open it quickly, I pinched my forefinger and hissed in pain, sucking it to relive the pain. Eventually, I managed to get it open and get my phone.

I had 3 missed calls and a text. All from Chanel. I opened the text message.

- Had to go. Emergency. Nothing major. Explain later. Ch xox

oh and sorry.

I threw the phone back into my purse, fed up. What the hell was going on?

Realising I was alone with the music pounding and couples dancing, I slumped back into a chair and resisted the urge to let my hair free so I could run my hands through it. I didn't know what else to do.

"Zoe?" I looked up to see my dad walking towards me, eyes furrowed in worry. I looked up, surprised for a mere moment.

"Is everything ok?" Dad gently held my shoulder but his voice was firm and strong. "I heard there was a fight." I could sense more behind his words. He'd heard I was somehow involved.

"I think it was just a bit of a scuffle. Too much champagne probably." I laughed as if I had no care in the world. I didn't need my dad worrying.

He didn't look convinced but he didn't question me either. "Where's Chanel?"

"She had to rush off somewhere so I'll, most likely, be going home with Alex." I answered simply.

He nodded. "Right. I've been roped into ferrying some of the guests home." He looked queasy and unwilling. I suspected he hadn't been able to refuse lending a hand. I patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"Zoe... You weren't involved, were you?"

I knew exactly what he was talking about but I played dumb to buy some time.

"What are you talking about?" I said, trying to come across as lightly confused.

My dad's expression stiffened. "You know what I mean." His eyes were intense and it all felt a bit too déjà vu-ey. I remembered then that Leo had said the same thing.

"No Dad." I assured him, lying through my teeth. "I was just standing near them."

Again, he didn't look convinced but with one final calculating and anxious look, his hand slipped off my shoulder.

"Ok. Good."

I smiled. "Ok." And I gestured for him to return to the boisterous woman he'd been politely dancing with earlier.

After my dad left, I slumped back in to my seat and speculated as to what it would be like to be in the arms of a certain punch-throwing somebody. It could be amazing. Happy and funny and sweet and awkward and-

But then came the rude awakening and I realised that it was only one thing.

Impossible.

***

The crowd cheered again as Jack twirled Helen around unexpectedly and she squealed in surprise. Helen looked flushed but the happiest I'd ever seen her and Jack looked at her as if she was the only one there. The snow had not stopped. Instead, it was flurrying down in a blur and setting quickly so already, I was standing in at least several inches of snow. I stared wistfully at them.

Not that I wasn't happy for them. It was just so cold. Everyone except Helen and I were wearing coats. Jack was wearing a stylish coat that matched his suit but everyone else wore varying colours of fur and cotton. I had left mine in Chanel's car and Helen was probably just surviving off of adrenaline and happiness.

I shivered in just my dress, too cold to do anything. The crowd cooed as Jack shrugged his coat off and wrapped it lovingly around Helen.

My legs would soon turn blue. I was sure of it.

"Zoe!"

I turned around to see Alex and I smiled feebly.

"Hey."

Alex looked flustered and busy. "Listen, where's Chanel?"

"She left ages ago. Why?" I answered, wondering what was so urgent.

He sighed loudly. "Who's your ride, then?" He asked. I could tell he didn't have much time and I felt as if I was a burden, a child that was incessantly and constantly annoying the older, busy adults.

"I thought you could..." I trailed off as soon as I saw Alex's expression. I suddenly felt very stupid. He ran his hands through his hair, messing it up. He seemed to be quite stressed and as he ran his hands through his hair, I bit my lip in uncertainty.

"Look. I'll get Leo to come with me instead and Aiden can take you home." He said more to himself than to me. "Yeah. Zoe, Aiden will take you to mine, then I'll see you there. Mum and Jack are taking their own wedding car to the airport but since there's no room for the luggage, I'll be taking it in my car and meeting them at the airport. Aiden was originally meant to come with me to drive their car back but that would mean Leo would have to drive you home-" he stopped talking and sighed.

His tone softened. No longer urgent and stressed but almost sad and hesitant.

"I'm sorry."

That was unexpected.

"What for?" I really didn't understand.

Alex looked at me almost bitterly. "It's just... I was meant to come to your rescue." I was still beyond confused. Apparently, that must've showed on my face too because Alex elaborated quietly. "I was meant to go in and get Leo off of you."

My heart skipped a beat and my mouth suddenly went dry.

"Alex..." I stopped, evaluating my words before I said them. "Don't be sorry. I didn't need rescuing."

Alex nodded, obviously not reassured. There was a minute silence between us and I realised, Jack was escorting Helen into an old white Cadillac. I turned to face Alex again and when I saw his expression, I trembled.

I'd never seen him look so angry. Immediately, my thoughts jumped to him finding out about Aiden and I. He knew. He must've found out. Maybe he read my mind. Maybe-

"You're freezing! Where's your coat?!" He didn't wait for an answer and he hurriedly shrugged off his own navy blazer and wrapped it around me quickly and sloppily. I was about to protest but as soon as I felt the soft warmth of it, I told myself that Alex would be in his own warm car in a matter of minutes anyway and I relaxed into it.

"Thanks." My voice came out muffled and I don't think he really heard me.

"I've got to go Zoe. I'll see you later." He moved in to kiss me and as I saw him near, my eyes widened in panic and I shifted my head to the side instinctively. His lips landed on my cheek.

He looked hurt and a little embarrassed. He glanced behind him and when I saw his face again, he was pink and gritting his teeth. I pretended I hadn't noticed but I was kicking myself really. I knew it had to happen sometime and I'd only proved that Leo right. Stupid, stupid Zoe.

"I'll see you later." I smiled brightly, trying to cover the tension in the air. He didn't return the smile. Instead, he simple nodded and stalked off. I pinched the skin between my thumb and forefinger hard as punishment to myself.

Aiden, no more than a couple of metres away, watched the whole exchange with cold, grey eyes.

***
The tension was stifling. I didn't utter a word and neither did Aiden. His face remained impassive, expressionless and I sat awkwardly, shooting quick glances at him. Not that I couldn't detect his mood. His hands were clenched tight around the steering wheel, so tight, his knuckles had turned a pale white. His hands would loosen every now and again but other than that, he didn't move. So we were silent. Aiden gripping the wheel while I held onto Alex's blazer. It kept slipping.

From my discreet glances, I saw he was wearing the same suit as Alex. I guessed that they'd both been forced into wearing corresponding outfits for the day and I smiled sadly as I imagined a flushed Helen trying to force two, polar opposite boys together. Her trying to get them to bond as brothers.

I came in the way of that.

My mouth wouldn't open. A million thoughts zoomed around my brain but my jaw remained tightly closed, bound and unwilling.

But there was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to talk about. Had he received my note? What did he think of it? What was all that earlier with Leo? Did he...could he possibly... still want me?

I pulled Alex's blazer more snug around me, almost like it was protecting me from the thought of Aiden instead of Alex.

Quicker than expected, we were at 24 Glaser Street. Aiden left almost immediately and the car shook as he slammed his car door shut. I flinched and opened my own door. The snow was still falling in thick swirls of white. Looking down at the ground from inside my car, I saw the heavy blanket of snow and ice, then looked down at my feet, more specifically my heels.

I bit my lip.

Letting out an unsteady breath, I stuck one leg out of the car gingerly and attempted to get a firm stance. I held on to the outside of the car and slipped ever so slightly with the extra weight on my leg.

The stupid heels that weren't even mine wouldn't stay put. They were more like ice skates than shoes.

I hadn't realised Aiden watching me, but I did hear a loud, exasperated huff that came along with a hand out stretched towards me.

It was so pathetic. Aiden having to help me out of the car. I almost slapped his hand away, just to be stubborn but I didn't. I took his hand as gracefully as I could and murmured a quiet thank you. But as soon as I'd stepped out the car and thanked him, he withdrew his hand sharply and the warmth that came with it evaporated in an instant.

The blazer had slipped at the same time and I quickly grabbed at it and pulled it over me again. It was a small distraction from the slight twinge of hurt from Aiden's cold indifference.

Aiden had already disappeared into the house. He just left the door open for me.

To be completely honest, I could've used a hand walking up the small path to number 24 but since Aiden wasn't keen on helping (and quite rightly so,) I managed to hobble up the path in Chanel's ridiculously high heels. I probably arrived at the door a good hour later. When I finally did get inside, Aiden was in the living room, sitting on the armrest of the sofa. His head was bowed, and he appeared to be reading something. I didn't know what.

"Alex comes first and will always come first. I'm sorry. For everything." He recited in a monotonous tone.

My knees trembled though not from the cold.

"I am." I croaked out. "I am sorry."

He scoffed humourlessly but didn't turn around. He still wasn't facing me."Right. Because a few words scrawled out on a post it note makes everything ok."

I swallowed. "I couldn't find the right time to talk-"

"Don't lie."

Although he hadn't raised his voice, I fell short immediately. I swallowed again and forced myself to stop trembling weakly.

"I stand by what I said in the note. Alex comes first. I won't play with his feelings." I sounded strong. I straightened my back and Alex's blazer fell around me a little making me look smaller.

Aiden turned around, eyes alight with something fierce. "So you'll play around with mine instead?!"

I hadn't thought about it like that. My strong façade fell away and my voice started to shake as I desperately tried to explain.

"No, no, Aiden." I stuttered, aghast at the implication of his words. "I- I didn't mean it like that. I-"

"You're a right dirty piece of work, Zoe." He spat out, disgusted. My bottom lip trembled.

"I di-"

"I mean, you didn't even end it with me before you started with him!" He was on his feet now, standing taller than me, even in my sky high heels.

"We were never together!" I tried hard to explain yet even I knew it was a weak argument.

Aiden stared at me incredulously. "It was implied! I thought we were! We had a bit of a rough start, what with that damn biology book and all, but I thought- I thought..." Aiden seemed to be at a loss for words. He was still holding the little post it note and every time his hand flew up, he would brandish it around almost violently, fuelled by his anger.

"I'm sorry." He didn't hear me.

"And I still don't even know what the hell is going on!" He shouted, turning his back to me. "So the same night we get back, Alex finally confesses his undying love for you and you fall head over heels for him and skip off into the sunset?" He mocked, sneering.

My voice came out sharper than I intended it to. "It wasn't like that. You know it wasn't."

"No, actually. I wouldn't know because you never told me shit!"

"I'm so-"

"Yeah, yeah. You're sorry. You've said." He added, his sarcasm just about concealing his fury.

"But I am." I whispered. "I ha-"

He whipped round, facing me. "Do you even like me? In the forest, back home, what was all that then? Were you just fucking with me?"

"I wasn't acting. I wasn't- Me and you..." I hesitated. I couldn't finish that sentence. "I didn't know about how Alex felt then."

"So you've always wanted him? And I was something to pass the time?" I could sense his anger heighten with every word he spoke.

"No." I was shocked. It hurt to think that Aiden had actually thought this about me. Not that it wasn't justified. "Alex is my best friend and I'll do anything for him."

Aiden made a face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'll do anything for him. No matter what." I trembled as I said the final words aloud.

Aiden didn't seem to understand. "What are you ev-?"

He stopped short and his expression fell into one of understanding. It was completely silent for those few moments.

"You don't feel the same way about him?" His tone was a lot softer than I'd expected. He hadn't hissed or shot me a disgusted look like Chanel had. He just nodded like he finally understood.

I didn't answer.

"And yet you're pretending to." And just the slightest pinch of accusation tainted his sentence.

I rushed to explain myself. To justify what I was doing. "Not in the way you think! I thought that I could maybe come to like him as more than just friends and it would be ok and then I wouldn't have to hurt him and-"

"But your date? You and him!" If I thought he was angry before, it was nothing compared to how he looked now. If I didn't know him, I would've cowered.

His stormy grey eyes were the darkest I'd seen them yet. This was nothing like before. This was Aiden, hell bent with outrage.

I didn't understand why he was so furious at the idea of Alex and I on a date. I'm sure he already knew. And if he knew Alex had asked me out, he knew there would have to be a date involved. Nevertheless, I didn't question it.

"He asked and I said yes!"

"Why!?" He had one hand pulling at a fistful of his own hair.

"I didn't want to hurt him!" I repeated, confused.

Aiden eyes widened in complete disbelief. "That doesn't mean you had to say yes! Why would you do that to yourself?!"

A spark of anger ignited within me and I suddenly grew defensive. Nobody talked about Alex like that. "I know I didn't make the wisest of choices but Alex was the perfect gentlemen. Don't you dare talk about him like that." Even if I didn't fancy Alex, I'd enjoyed the date. It had been fun, sweet even.

"You are unbelievable." He spat out. "You're no better than a fucking prostitute."

I slapped him. Hard. His head turned violently to the left from the force of the slap but it was as if I hadn't even touched him. My hand was smarting but Aiden didn't seem to be the slightest bit affected.

"It was a date! You have no right to-"

Aiden scoffed and cut me off once again. He didn't bother to soothe his cheek. "You're calling it a date?" He sneered. "It was no more than a sleazy little hookup."

I resisted slapping him again as tears threatened to overwhelm me.

"And in the shower? Disgusting bitch."

"How dare you-!" But I stopped, fully taking in what he had actually just said. "What the hell are you on about?"

"Don't try and play dumb. I found your skimpy little orange thing in the bathroom."

For a second, I was completely confused. I had no idea what he was referring to until-

I blushed a deep crimson. Aiden noticed and jeered.

"Yeah, I know." He said. He sounded hurt but desperately trying to cover his feelings up with indifference and rage.

"We didn't have sex. My 'orange thing' broke so I took it off." I explained quietly.

Aiden snorted. "And you expect me to believe that?!"

Indignation flared up within me. "Yes! Because it's the truth!"

"Fuck off." And he shot me a dirty look before turning his back to me.

"Think what you want. I don't care." I tried to come across unbothered but my voice shook, betraying me.

He didn't respond to that and so we were silent. He stepped back to lean on the edge of the sofa and I stood uncertainly and still with my arms folded defensively. My feet were aching.

"You need to stop this." He finally spoke up. His tone was so different to the harshness it was only a few minutes ago. "I know you don't want to hurt him but seriously Zoe, you need to end it before you're in too deep."

I made a noise, indicating my disbelief but I suddenly felt like crying again. "I'm already in too deep."

He sighed. "You have to tell him. Not for me or even for you, for him. You can't keep this up. You can't keep lying to him. You have to tell him."

"I can't." It came out as a whimper.

"Zoe, you say you don't want to hurt him but the longer you keep pretending, the worse it'll be when he finds out." He was starting to lose patience. I could tell from his harsh, demanding tone.

"But he's my best friend." I was practically pleading now, trying my best to ignore reason even though I knew it was inevitable. First Chanel, then Leo and now even Aiden.

Aiden sighed exasperated and he was no longer comforting. "Fine. Fine. But just know, if you don't tell him, you'll have to keep acting forever. And Alex? He'll let you. Because he's happy being with you, regardless of whether it's real or not."

"But Alex-"

All of a sudden, he blew. And I couldn't have done anything to prevent it.

"What is it with you? Huh? I just don't get you! You like him but then you don't. And then you like me and then you don't! And it turns out you were faking it with him but you don't want to hurt him. It was all just pretend, right? So does that mean you were faking it with me too? Am I just pretend too?"

"Aiden ple-"

"No I won't. Because you, you don't make sense! You wear that," he gestured to my clothes in something between disgust and confusion, unable to find a suitable word, "...whore-dress and let Leo get all handsy with you and then act like the innocent victim, then go snogging Alex. Who are you? Who the fuck are you?! Coz you're not the girl I was with a couple weeks ago. Not anymore."

He didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

"And I'm still chasing after you! I mean, what's all that about?! You pull all this shit and I'm still stupid enough to want you, and make excuses for you! I shouldn't care. I don't care. Get off with Alex and fuck him in the shower if you want because I've had enough, Zoe. I have. I've had enough of your fucking shit and I did want to... I did... with you" He slowed down just a little before picking up his anger again,"but I'm not chasing after you anymore. I'm done with this. I'm done with you."

When he finsihed, it felt as if my heart had just shattered into a million pieces and it felt as if I really knew what it meant to lose Aiden. I spoke before I could stop myself.

"Don't..." I whispered.

He looked up at me with tired, doe-like eyes and I stared back with my own teary green ones. He hesitated for a second and I feared that I'd finally lost him. Not one bit of me was relieved at the thought of Aiden not wanting me anymore. It only hurt.

"Don't give up on me."

And surprisingly, that was all it took.

Aiden pulled me towards him and kissed me with all his anger and passion and it felt as if I was melting which I guess I was, only into his arms. He tasted of champagne. The navy blazer I was wearing fell off me and there would've been a moment of hesitation but his beautiful baby smell overwhelmed me and it took me back to when it was just us, lost and deserted in the middle of nowhere.

This was nothing like our first kiss. It had deeper feelings attached to it. Heat and desperation and a sense of this-is-so-wrong-but-so-right. Like waking up in the middle of the night to satisfy your sugar craving but that feeling 1000 times intensified. Every quick glance, every lingering thought and every single word spoken between us, had built up to this. And this was the crescendo.

I kissed him back and not once did I think about Alex. Because it was only me and Aiden and that was right. It was spontaneous and romantic and... Aiden. He'd somehow become an adjective and to me, it made perfect sense because there was no other suitable word.

Aiden, Aiden, Aiden.

He held me in his embrace, safe and secure and when he sensed I needed to breathe, he moved away, not to leave a trail of kisses along my neck but to rest his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed and like me, he was breathing heavily. I could hear his heart pounding furiously but I could've easily mistaken it for mine. And that was enough to finally convince me to tell Alex the truth.

"I'll tell him."

Aiden pressed his lips against mine again and this time, it was almost as if he was thanking me. Gentler, softer but simmering with heat. Aiden grabbed at the back of my right thigh and pulled me forwards at the same time he moved backwards. Together, we fell on the sofa with me hovering over him and he moved his hands lower. My dress was straining and restricting me from settling comfortably over Aiden but he wasted no time hitching it up higher and spreading my legs.

I wasn't thinking clearly. Aiden seemed to have that effect on me.

I could feel his hand running against the back of my thighs, dangerously close to the inside of them. We were still quite haphazardly splayed across the sofa but Aiden moved backwards and I shimmied along with him, making him groan and tighten his grip on my thigh. I blushed but Aiden seemed too busy to notice which I was glad for.

He straightened up so he was now sitting up and he kissed me again, unashamed of a certain part of his body poking me. I had managed to loosen his tie and was trying to unbutton a few of his buttons but Aiden would occasionally touch me in a way that would make me forget what I was doing.

He currently had one hand at the back of my neck and I could sense that he wanted to run his hands through my hair. A long tendril of blonde fell out of the up do and he moved it away from my face.

"Zoe..." He had his eyes open now and he was looking at me appreciatively. "I take back what I said about the dress." I blushed and he moved forward to kiss my neck when I felt a sudden twinge on my neck. My eyes fluttered to a close and enjoying the sensation, I forgot about unbuttoning his shirt and just left my hands pressed against his chest.

I let my hair fall forwards as I moaned softly. My arms slowly wound around his neck and he grabbed the top of my left leg and pulled me closer into him, still working on the hollow of my neck with his mouth. I'd never felt anything like it before.

Lazily yet deliberately, Aiden's fingers were moving up my thigh. Every inch or so, his hand would move down lower but then he'd start up again, making me clench my body in painful suspense. He had just about slipped his finger under the elastic of my knickers when he nipped at my neck.

"Aid-"

I was interrupted by the distinct clawing-sound of a key trying to find its way into its lock.

Aiden's fingers stopped abruptly, as did his mouth and my laboured breathing halted immediately. I didn't dare open my eyes. I still had my arms and legs wrapped around Aiden and the moan of his name at the tip of my tongue. Aiden still had one finger under my knicker elastic, his other hand on my posterior and his mouth still on my slightly stinging neck. Intertwined around each other, we were completely still.

The clawing key finally found its way into the lock.

Shit.

***

Merry Christmas!

So I google Alex and Zoe and I get this French stuff. That makes me smile.

Then I google Aiden and Zoe and what do I get? Porn. And that makes me laugh.

Anyway, sorry for the wait, but I really wanted to do my best with this chapter. It was really hard writing the steamy kissing bit. Well, no. I'm lying. It wasn't at all hard. I was just a bit embarrassed knowing that people I know in real life would read it.

Hope you like it and that it was up to your standards. Don't kill me. :) Please don't forget to vote and comment! I'm sure you all have a lot of opinions so don't hesitate to share them with me. Good or bad. :D