Fear

Chapter One

I woke up on Saturday to an empty home as usual. I ignored the nagging feeling in my gut telling me that they didn't care about me. I already knew it was true. My dad was a stock broker in New York and my mom was huge lawyer. She'd have cases where she'd have to travel half way across the globe just to take. Most of her cases were far away. I ignored the chilling air of the house as I grabbed a water from the fridge and slipped of my Free Runs. I tucked my key into the bottom of my shoe and locked the door behind me as I took off into a sprint. Running was relaxation, and I needed a lot of it.

  I ran about a half a mile ignoring the burning in my body as I pushed harder. I ignored the screaming in my lungs. I ignored the tears of protests nagging in my eyes. I ignored the pounding of my heart telling me that everything was wrong. Because I already knew it...I just refused to stop. I pushed my legs to move even faster as a thought escaped the cage in the back of my mind.

--

"Stop Ty!" I screamed as Tyson continued to shoot me with a new water gun him and Josh bought from Wal-mart.

"No way! This is fun! You should try it Pay." He said cackling evilly as he continued "drowning" me. I tried to put my hands up to block the water from my face but it was a moot try because Josh ran on my right with a smaller gun and began spraying me again.

"Get off her!" Mrs.Rogers , Tyson's mom, said laughing as she scowled at the boys.

"She started it." They chorused showing off matching smirks.

"I hate you two." I said glaring at the trying to bite back a smile. No one could stay mad at them for more than two seconds.

"You can't hate us PayDay." Josh said putting his arm around me as Tyson joined wrapping an arm around my waist as he added, "We're the three musketeers. You love us." And he kissed my cheek.

These guys made me so happy.

--End of flashback

I paused from my run as I thought about how I had pushed Josh away. Josh was Tyson and I's best friend. He was also my god brother. His mom and my mom both had a habit of running off and putting work before us, but we made the best of it because we had Tyson's mom to look after us. We were a family. The way I pushed Josh away wasn't fair and I was horrible to him. I looked at where I had stopped and I was about thirty minutes away from my house. I took a breather as I started making my way back running even faster than before.

--

"Payson!" Josh yelled after me, his voice breaking. I couldn't face him. I continued to stomp away from him and everyone else that was in that house. Including Tyson.

"Hold up!" he yelled jogging after me.

I turned sharply and yelled, "No! I can't. I'm done. I'm so done." I had tears falling from my eyes onto the pavement and my chest was heaving heavily.

"It'll be okay. We'll find him." He said walking slowly to me with matching tears of his own.

"And if we don't? We can't go back to normal pretending that it's gonna be okay! It won't be right until he's back here with us. Why don't you guys get that?! He's what holds everything together."

"He just needs some time to get away." Josh said shaking his head softly as he looked at my face.

"No." I said sharply as I repeated the same words I just said inside the once comfy brick house that belonged to Tyson. "He wouldn't have just left. Not after what he told me. It's not like him. He would have said good bye."

"Not if he didn't want anyone to stop him." He said trying to reason with me as he grabbed my wrist. I snatched away from him getting angry.

"No! You're not listening to me! I know him more than anyone else; his mom, his dad...you. I would've listened to him and let him go if that's what he wanted and all of you know that! You're just trying to stay positive. You're not being realistic. That's not Tyson! He's better than just making people worry about him."

"Payson!" he snapped getting annoyed. "He just went away for a while."

"Did he tell you that?"I challenged raising a brow. "Huh?" I pushed. I watched as his face gave away the answer. "No. I thought so."

I turned my back to him and ignored his pleads for me to stop and listen.

-End of flashback

And I eventually turned my back on everyone else who didn't agree with me. They were all blinded by trying to be "positive" that they weren't being realistic. Tyson didn't run away. I can feel it. There was something more to the story and we could only find out that story if we find him. And I was gonna do that...no matter who I had to hurt to get it.

I ran up to my house to see someone across the yard moving in. I looked closely at them and they looked familiar. I almost squealed in delight when I saw who the woman was. Jasmine Conrad. She played Soccer in college and she was my idol. Tyson was going to take me to her book signing before but I guess something popped up. I ignored all impulses to run to her as I turned and jogged on my porch. I took one lingering glance at the house when I saw him. I saw Tyson. I didn't even notice my feet were moving until I was approaching the foot of their grass.

"Tyson." I called barely above a whisper. He didn't even spare a glance as he ran to a car of waving girls and sped off leaving me with a new depth of disappointment. My worst fear came true. He lied. He didn't really love me. He never did.